Bipolar Check-in #84

Welcome to the forum EmAbee!

@Blue_Bird

Damn. Your psychiatrist really let you have it! Jeez.

@Blueberrybook

Unfortunately trazodone doesn't work for me. It just makes me sick. 😔 I'm going to try taking 10mg of melatonin tonight with my seroquel and see if that helps.

My brother in law is in the ER in a ton of pain. They don't know why. He is in a bed in the hallway and the pain meds aren't working.

So we have all 3 kids. I took my new med about an hour ago. I'm pretty chilled out but still nauseated.

I fell asleep for 2 hours and I woke up feeling incredibly sick. Its my side. I was organizing my closet today. I feel a bit better now. I don't know whats going on with my bil. My mom was rushing the kids out the door and saying she would text or call me. Idk what that means.

Period slowed down and has picked up again!

I’ve come to the conclusion that my psychiatrist is right. I need to stop the THC. It doesn’t mix with bipolar. Last time I was smoking and taking edibles in the spring I got very psychotic and manic and felt like I was on a several week long acid trip it was terrifying. I don’t want to experience that again and that’s exactly what’ll happen if I keep doing it. He was there during that whole thing. It’s not worth it. Sometimes it seems okay but it’s so unpredictable it’s not worth the risk of it going horribly like it often does with me, it’s just one wrong high that could put me in the hospital. And to be honest I never want to experience what I experienced in the spring again cause that was terrifying on a whole new level. It sucks cause I like the fun parts of it like the euphoria. But it’s not worth it at all now that I think about it. I can’t change my brain chemistry so there’s no point dwelling/wishing I wasn’t bipolar so I could smoke weed and not experience the bad effects of it. It just is what it is.

I took my night meds , now I’m listening to music. Might read some later before I go to sleep. I made homemade snickerdoodle cookies tonight. That reminds me I have a sink full of dishes from that so I need to deal with that before bed so I don’t wake up to it. I’m going to the pharmacy tomorrow to get my Covid and flu vaccines.

My psychiatrist works with my therapist and he saw in her notes that we’re doing EMDR and he was happy about that.

I see my therapist on Friday

Went to my daughter’s house today. We’re on the forth season of stranger things. Hopefully we’ll get though it before snow flies, but that’s not looking good as they tentatively announced snow in the upcoming week. I hate driving in the snow. I spent too many years in the south. Plus my accident several years ago has made me very leery of black ice. That feeling of total loss of control was horrible.

I slept well last night.

I did more exercises and had a good meal today. One unexpected benefit of exercising is that i was able to resist drinking pop for many hours after. I preferred water. So that was nice. Otherwise the day was unpleasant tho, not being able to tolerate music, reading, my soap, my ZOOM support group, etc. I was able to play Scrabble tho, had some good games. But mostly i just laid around. Hate that.

Hugs to all in need!

He just has a kidney stone. I know those hurt like crazy though.

I am in so much pain and nausea though right now. My heating pad is just making me use the bathroom. Which isn't helping either. My phone is playing the same songs.

I still didn't get any beef jerky lol. My pickup was delayed without any furthur information so I canclled it and tried for a delivery but they were running late too and only had 3 things in stock and there was no point in making some person deliver 3 things at 8PM.

I'll try the mini mart tommorow.

I saw my psychologist today. Hardly stayed for long because I’m doing so much better he even canceled our session in 2 weeks time and I will see him again 19 December. That’s good news. I plan on going back to work 9 December in 3 weeks guys. Yikes!

Avoiding having to fetch my son from after school care in an hour and listen to them tell me how naughty he has been. Sigh. He’s a handful when they’re trying to mark the roll he makes so much noise. They’re thinking of Taki him outside whilst they are marking the roll to play basketball or something.

Welcome @EmAbee

Yesterday was a completely shocking day at work. My handled/is handling a situation so poorly, if he stays I need to get a new job. It won't be an easy thing to do, but I also no longer feel safe working for my boss. I had actually already been thinking about if I'd be able to get a nonteaching job that would pay better and help me attempt to get set up for retirement because I am no where close to being able to retire one day. I absolutely love working with kids, but the reality is those types of jobs don't pay well and the city I live in is insanely expensive.

I have so many emotions about what is going on at work right now but, as of now, there are no signs that this really emotional time is triggering bipolar symptoms so that's good. And, my favorite bad released a new album today so I've gotten to listen to that a couple of times today!

I took the second dose of the Prochlorperazine and I have this like restless feeling in my legs and my rib cage keeps getting stiff kinda like I sucked in my stomach.

Is this normal and will it go away?

The OBGYN who got assigned to me for some reason that I’ve never met got pissy with me when I asked if she could prescribe something other than flexeril because I have a history of urinary retention- twice! She practically accused me of being a drug seeker! She said “If that was going to happen it would’ve happened on the first dose. We don’t do that. Ask your primary doctor.” I have an appointment with a doctor I don’t know at my primary’s office that I’ve never met this morning. Still bleeding too! Day 5! We’ll see if they think it’s wise to take flexeril with my history. Meanwhile somebody from my liver doctor’s office will call and say what my liver NP has to say. I’m really worried!

I feel weird. Not exactly light headed and a little bit nauseated. I’m sitting in the waiting room. My appointment is in 7 minutes.

Swedish fish

I woke up at 6AM feeling awesome. But I am pretty drowsy and lightheaded. Which my doctor told me would happen. But my massive nausea and stomach pain are gone. I switched therapy to virtual and she was understanding and was like "of course you need time to adjust to the med."

Overall I feel pretty good, I just feel a bit high.

Good morning. Maintenance is about to come over to change the lightbulb in my oven so that’s good.

I’m tired. I slept 7 1/2 hours. My morning meds make me really tired though. I’m on the verge of falling asleep so I’m trying to sit up and wake myself up. It’s not working very well though. I might have to make another cup of coffee.

Not much going on today.

@Blue_Bird
My meds make me tired too. I don't think it's so much morning meds as a hangover effect from my night meds, but ugh, I wish I had more energy! I have to pull myself out of bed after 8-9 hr. of sleep most nights, and really, I want to go back to sleep, but I know I don't want to end up in a cycle of sleeping too long. It's hard though to be so tired and force myself through a morning walk or pilates video. I definitely relate!

This morning, I went for a walk, started before sunrise but it was llight by the time I got home. I had to pick up a prescription at the pharmacy today, and afterwards, I went to Starbucks to get drinks for myself and my daughter (trying to give her motivation to get up!). Little did I know, Starbucks was having some promo where if you ordered a holiday drink, you got free resuable cups. It was crazy there! And I think they were giving reusable cups to everyone who ordered any drink they were so crowded. I didn't even attempt the drive thru as that line was insane! I guess it was all for the cups. That Starbucks is never that crowded during the week, unless I got there right before a class started as the Starbucks is across the street from the junior community college.