Bipolar Check-in #85

I'm so tired this morning. Woke at 3 AM and my cat wasn't even jumping on me. I took a long power walk/jog in the dark, which I shouldn't do but I like to get moving right when I wake up.

Period started today; blah!

@Blue_Bird I sketched yesterday put it in the creative thread. Actually did a bit of color, which I normally don't do. Hopefully, I'll sketch today again. I am wanting some sketch stuff for my birthday next month too as H got me a work book on shading for Christmas and it uses various supplies I don't have like specific art pencils, graphite powder, etc. Hoping this sketching isn't just a hypomanic pastime because I'd like to keep it up.

Here's my attempt at color; hopefully you can tell it's a taco? (sketching a lot of food because I also got another workbook from H where the first chapter is food. I find I like sketching food though because it isn't always symmetrical and needing use of rulers, compasses, etc. to look better.)

That looks really good Blueberry! I actually love sketching food too! I went through a whole phase of sketching desserts for awhile. I love sketching different pastries and whatnot and coffees it’s a lot of fun. As far as it being a hypomanic phase maybe you can continue it either way? You’re good at it and enjoy it so it might be a good idea to keep doing it art is very therapeutic

Thank you, I will! I’m excited about it. It also gives me an opportunity to deal with my social anxiety going in and asking about their free coffee thing for New Year’s Eve. I hope the med adjustments help.

Sounds like you had a productive day!

Happy new years!

Good morning! I slept good, woke up crying in my sleep though. Had an upsetting dream. But I still slept good overall.

Looking forward to the day, gonna practice violin. Maybe get on the treadmill. Read, play games, go to that store for the free coffee tonight! Staying up till midnight (maybe a bit later) and then sleeping in tomorrow

I’m trying to get used to wearing my glasses again. I have a bad habit of not wearing them ever. I’m nearsighted. So I have trouble seeing things that are far away /at a distance. And my vision is blurry in general probably made worse by my meds. So I definitely need to get back into the habit of wearing them. I’m not letting myself get a new pair until I prove to myself that I can wear them consistently. If I can do that for like 3 months then I’ll schedule and eye exam and get a new pair. I doubt my vision has changed much in the past two years as I can see perfectly fine with my glasses but always good to check and a new pair will be nice to have.

@JaneOnceMore hope you’re doing okay, I feel like I haven’t seen you around the past couple days I could be mistaken though. Anyway hope you have a wonderful New Year’s Eve

I'm doing good today. I slept from about 8:30 last night to 6AM. I got in the shower for the first time in 6 days and I did my ab roller while watching the Today Show. I don't have much anxiety today. My stomach is pretty calm too. I'm not very hungry though. I need to deep clean my room and wash my blankets because it smells like snow? For some reason in my room.

I have a dentist appointment on Thursday. I wonder how bad my teeth are after these last 11 months

Good luck at the dentist! I missed my cleaning recently so I have to get another one scheduled soon

Going to get Chinese takeout on Saturday! General tsos, sweet and sour chicken, egg rolls, steamed dumplings and crab Rangoon

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed I'm doing good today. I slept from about 8:30 last night to 6AM. I got in the shower for the first time in 6 days and I did my ab roller while watching the Today Show. I don't have much anxiety today. My stomach is pretty calm too. I'm not very hungry though. I need to deep clean my room and wash my blankets because it smells like snow? For some reason in my room. I have a dentist appointment on Thursday. I wonder how bad my teeth are after these last 11 months

I hate going to the dentist SO much. I have bad dental anxiety. According to the dentist, it is not uncommon; a lot of people apparently are more anxious to see a dentist than a regular doctor.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird Going to get Chinese takeout on Saturday! General tsos, sweet and sour chicken, egg rolls, steamed dumplings and crab Rangoon

That sounds SO good! We hardly ever eat out because of the expense. Though buying groceries to cook a recipe for a family is often pretty expensive in itself these days...sigh.

Happy New Year @Crazy Hitch!

I've been productive so far this morning: showered, had breakfast, read with the SAD lamp, washed & folded laundry, and I sketched 3 drawings.

I think this is my favorite drawing from today, sorry about the shadow over the picture (others are in the Creative Corner forum):

Slept good, weird dream where I was with a tourist group that took place under the sea. You dived down and walked around the sea bottom. Pretty cool!

Today is a lazy day until 6. That’s when the party is. I’m bringing Chex mix and rice crispy treats. I bought and wrapped my present so long ago I don’t remember what it is. We ply dirty bingo and everyone gets a present 🎁. The whole thing will be over with at 9, so I’ll be watching tv to see the fireworks.

Not doing so well today, but still better than the past few days emotionally. I guess I'm ready to start a new year alone.

Thanks so much [MENTION=44321]blueberrybook

Going to my mom’s in an hour for meat, cheeses, crackers, flavored chocolate. Bars, root beer and champagne. Took a nap.

I was talking with Caleb about 8 o'clock this morning when he suddenly "Ive gotta go. Ive just been in an accident". I said "I'm sorry. Bye".

He's probably dealing with police and EMS and I assume the other vehicle was a car- definitely going to crumple when you run into a garbage truck! Maybe they even want him to get checked out at the hospital though he sounded fine over the phone.

In addition to ambulance the police will give him a ticket and he will be in trouble at work. I wonder if they'll send him home for the day. There is a lot of paperwork he has to fill out when he has an accident.

Update: he’s ok. The company is paying for the damage to the other vehicle. They are giving him a ticket though. Glad he’s okay.

Stepdads funeral was nice. I’m sad.

I'm so tired today. I don't know why.

Got the ezine up yesterday. Just have to email everyone to let them know their stuff is up. Also returned the evil light therapy lamp finally. I'm NEVER sitting in front of a light therapy lamp again! That was not good. I've been paranoid these past few nights, scared, bizarre thoughts, like something is inserting thoughts into my mind and restless sleep. I don't know what the deal is.

Our daughter is going to a New Year's Eve party at ond of her friend's houses tonight, so it'll just be my husband and I for a few hours. I'm SO happy she's hanging out with her friends! She spends too much time in internet land, with online "friends". (We have parental controls on her phone obviously, but still.)

I just wish I wasn't so freaking tired! Fudge man.

Happy New Year everyone!

Why can't delivery get anything right? We sent stuff to my mom's so it wouldn't get stolen, it wasn't delivered. We get my husband's late Christmas gift one of them were broken it's so frustrating.

Had fruit and cheese and crackers and pork for dinner at my mom’s. Watched Christopher Robin on Disney+. Cute movie. Live action. Didn’t have any alcohol- just root beer.

Well



Not sure if I’m gonna continue with it going forward, I guess I’ll see how my anxiety is in the coming days.

Lately these past couple weeks I've felt like I was about to fall into a void kinda and then I suddenly fall asleep for between 1-3 hours. It happened twice today although the second time I was more aware it was going to happen.

@Blueberrybook I haven't gone to the dentist since summer 2023 because of anxiety. And also my dentist doesn't even take Care Card.

I've noticed that, since I started having trouble with my meds a little over a week ago, I get a huge burst of euphoric energy/restlessness (and sometimes other symptoms) an hour or two before it is time to take my risperidone. But, after the risperidone has a bit to get into my system, my energy levels drop again. I will take it tonight like I always do, but tonight's version of euphoric energy has me tempted to not take my meds to see what the heck happens because it feels like it would be a grand old time.

Last night, I went back down to 3 mg of risperidone to see if I would stay stable. I didn't notice much of a difference, but did have a little bit of paranoia on my walk. Since I didn't notice much of a difference, I'm going to take 3 mg again tonight. Unless I can't fall asleep for forever; if that happens, I'll take 4 mg.

Today, I went for a walk, had lunch with a friend, and got some cleaning done. No New Year's Eve plans for me-just hanging out until I decide to go to bed. I only have an episode and a half of a show I've been watching, so I know I'll finish that and then will need to pick a new show to watch. Any suggestions? I have prime and netflix.

Yeah I think I’m just gonna stay away from weed from now on