Bipolar check in #45

Here's number 45

Oooooo Thanks Nammu its so bright and shiny here

I put up a link and requested the mods close the thread.

So if anyone is wondering I finished my elimination diet a few days ago. Apparently I am fine even with milk (which I thought impossible) although I don't think I'll drink as much of it as I used to because too much does upset my stomach somewhat. But I can have all the cheese I want as far as I can tell and a glass or two or some on cereal is fine.

I guess this just reset my system. I guess things must have been irritated in there and not eating anything for so long was the cure.

So glad it was worth it. The whole thing started 9 months ago today.

I really admire your dedication to sticking with that for 9 months. No way could I give up cheese for that long!

Today I got some cleaning done. Then Took a shower and talked to my big sis on the phone. After that I watched the evening news and honestly it frightens me. We have to go grocery shopping tomorrow and that makes me really anxious.

I hope you are having a pleasant weekend and I hope you are all coping well with this situation.

I didn't give it all up that long. I was eating things but getting sick most of the time. I gave up food except rice and a few meats Jan. 3 so just about 3 months. I have eaten 2 blocks of cheese in the 3.5 weeks I've been on social distancing inside my house. I wish I'd ordered more when we had groceries delivered.

I've had frozen pizza but am really looking forward to the end of the virus and real pizza from a pizza place. That's about my only goal now with the diet and that just is going to be a while. We aren't eating food prepared by others right now.

I just wish that I'd come out of this and been able to have all the fresh produce I want. Instead I eat what we have and it may not be so good for my elevated glucose levels in my last test. But you do what you can do. And at least I won't be living on white rice like last time I was tested.

Drank a little tonight, no depression though. Just took my meds, it will be sleepy time soon. Today was ok, I did have a bout with depression earlier. I have to talk to my pdoc about maybe raising my antidepressant or changing it.

Cannot believe you did that!! Awesome job!!!!

Clarification: I made the diet sound like it went on for 9 months. It was only 3; I just was sick starting 9 months ago. I just wanted to correct this and not sound sound like a drama queen and my time to edit ended while I was sleeping.

Sorry everyone.

Trying to my best to deal with this whole pandemic situation. My anxiety has been pretty bad. Periodically bursting into tears. Currently I am still working, as I work in healthcare. Fortunately I work in a speciality where people tend to cancel their appointment if they're sick lol. I'm scared to go to work though, but also scared to not work and not get paid. I feel physically ill from anxiety every day while I'm at work. Keep spacing out, almost like how I've experienced derealization but not quite. We are seeing a very small amount of patients. I have had to cut all our employee's hours. Everyone in our practice have taken a pay decrease. Just trying to float this out. At least we are doing our part to keep our patients out of the ER by staying open.

I have to go to the grocery store today to get a few things. I'm anxious about it. I will go this morning when they open. I'd rather stay home. Keeping my son home. I will not allow him to go places with me.

doing good so far today.

clocks went back yesterday, and thankfully all the clocks I have (alexa, computer, tv,) do it by themselves

still struggling with sleep but for me that's neither here or their now

@BeyondtheRainbow: Congratulations! Three months is still a long time. Glad it worked out. You show a lot of pluck!

You did nothing wrong. There is no need to apologize..

I slept from 12am until 7:30am with minimal waking up. I did wake up like 2 or 3 times last night, but not like before where I was waking up every hour or so.

I feel pretty damn good right now. I'm getting stuff done around the apartment!

I have to take out the trash, but I'm scared to touch the handles to open the dumpster! Maybe I will use a plastic bag to avoid contracting coronavirus. I suppose that could work, yes?

I mostly have a bunch of boxes, either from food (e.g., mac & cheese box) or stuff I ordered off the internet a while back. They need to be taken out!! But I suppose it'll be good to just get it over with and get some fresh air. Meh.

Hi!

I have no idea as to how people working in health care are continuing so courageous. I totally respect all you are doing to help patients and helping to take some stress off of the ER as well.

the episodes of derealization types of experiences aren't surprising considering the overwhelming degree of stress involved. Are you able to ground yourself? There are some grounding exercises on youtube if interested.

It's often even more stressful for the (practice manager?) management.

I imagine continuing to work in heath care at this time might require using every coping skill ever learned?

I am sorry you are going through this.

I want to tell you you are a hero in many ways and I thank you for your courage and your dedication. I hope you and your son are safe and continue healthy!

We are here for you!
With Love and Admiration

Glad you have slept!

I realized last night that I have addictive tendencies. By no means am I a hardcore drug addict, and I'm not really feeling up to going into details, but it is something I need to work on.
Also have a growth on my lip that's bothering me. I see my primary in about a month so hopefully he'll be able to do something about it. It bleeds a lot if I play with it.
Am having some "issues" with my med combo, but if I stick to it the way my doc says to and add an Ativan here or there I'm mostly stable so I guess I shouldn't complain.
I have some things I need to resolve because I'm just coming out or at least having a break from mania and made some mistakes with some people.
I feel like a bad person.

I don't believe in bad people. I believe we can judge our choices as bad and a bad choice might be not reflecting on your actions or not being open to learning from them. Instead, you seem like you want to make some changes.

Everyone's opinion is different and valid, but from where I stand it sounds like you're considering making better choices for yourself in the future. I see that as good.

HI spikes!

Many people, likely most people, have difficulty with self-compassion.
We don't grow up being taught this skill.

Here's a link you may want to explore. There are additional videos on youtube on this topic. This is Kristen Neff. Another respected speaker on this topic is Brene Brown.

Kristin Neff:



Be kind to yourself!

Soooo RS made me go back to the ER yet again. This morning I went to stand up to go to the bathroom and got so dizzy I fell back on the bed. I sat for a minute to reorient myself, then stood and made sure I was steady, then went to the bathroom and came back. I didn’t tell him bc I didn’t want him to worry. But when he came in around 7:30am I tried to sit up in bed and fell back down again. I told him about the chest pain and dizziness and he freaked and took me back to the ER.

The ER was odd. They were triaging people at the door, only letting the one in need of care in, and making everyone wear masks. It was nearly empty. I have to wonder if they were just sending people immediately to the department they needed to be in if they didn’t need to go through emergency. I really don’t know.

I got a chest X-ray and a head CT, along with bloodwork and an ekg. Everything is normal!!! Absolutely no idea what is causing this, except we know it’s not anything immediately life threatening. So I don’t know. My pcp did say something about fluid from the sinus infection backing up into my ears and causing vertigo, but I don’t know what could be causing the chest pain. I’ll have to follow up with my pcp and see if we can figure this out.

I am so sorry wildflowerchild. I hope you find some answers soon.

With this coronavirus stuff, I have been having high anxiety and several panic attacks daily. I can take Seroquel 25 mg during panic attacks and sort of stay awake and function, but not for more than 1 panic attack in a day. Pretty much anxious about everything.

Had either OCD or hypomanic episode where I was trying to organize coupons even though you can't go to the store and buy any of the brands unless it's makeup or something. Threw it away today. I hope trash comes early tomorrow so I don't try to rescue it.

It's been a tough day

Sorry to hear about your anxiety and panic attacks. That sounds very upsetting and bothersome.

Do you have any PRNs besides Seroquel that you can take? I know how exhausting Seroquel can make you!

Also, do you have a therapist you can contact? Pdoc? It may help to talk it out with someone. You can also use crisis text lines if you're comfortable with that idea. They're very nice people and they give you approved resources that help you cope with what you're dealing with.

I agree. I was not taught this grrrrrrrrrrrr

I hope you enjoy the video, Fuzzy!
There are many others by these two speakers, as well!
Love ya!