[perniciousfirefly]

Hiya,
Ok Ive been said i have a drinking problem, have been off drink pretty much for 3 weeks, apart from two relapses. Now these relapses werent really just for the drinking, they were to slow mind my racing mind and body. I havent had a drink for 8 days now, am totally manic, but not too bothered about having a drink, just want something to calm me down,
I had grandiose beliefs last week, got out of my depth with this ambition and drive, which i now look back and was totally unrealistic. drew a bit of money outh (which couldnt afford) and spent in on needless things. I crashed down, but am not depressed, still feel manic, racing thoughts like Im creating a scrap book, full of creative stuff at the moment, writing poetry.

Now if i was an alcoholic would i be doin so well off the drink, or the drinking a byproduct of manic depression,.

I am being assessed without the alcohol intake, so ill wait and see. but when I drink i am out of control, drink fast like everything else i do, and pass the border of tipsy and intoxicated and paralytic.

i am going to aa meetings, but i feel like i am being treat unfairly by the psych team, who refused to diagnose me with a mood disorder. like i am wishing it on myself, it has implications for my future, but then my mania and depression in the past which i know it is isnt exactly, managed.

I am in debt, have had relationship breakdowns due to mood swings, eating disorders, and not just through drink.

I duno, im just irritable when i cant do what i want and people try stopping me, i like to be myself and express myself through music, creativity and that