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Old Jun 13, 2008, 06:17 AM
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iamtwilight iamtwilight is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2007
Location: where the x marks the spot
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Yeah, so, yesterday I was analysing things with my boyfriend because I was mad and he seemed to be willing to talk. I had been depressed for two or three days, (I could make a career out of rapid cycling) and suddenly started feeling pretty good about myself. That I actually am funny. Started cracking tasteless jokes.

Isn't it weird that your self-esteem rises when things start getting out of hand?

And how unfair it is that when usually your self-esteem in unexistant, you're only worthy in your eyes when you're hypomanic or manic.

I don't get it.

I guess when I progress in therapy (I don't qualify for psychotherapy yet, my condition is "too poor" according to my T, a psych nurse) I will not miss mania that much and I can see that it brings more bad than good.

Today I am more rational, but energetic. I wonder if I'm near the brink of mania. I'm going to run away for a few days, I miss the man I love. Thoughts on Hypomania & Mania I have a gut feeling I'm going to be in trouble but I don't really care.

I shall try my best to keep myself safe. That's a promise.

Katie
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  #2  
Old Jun 13, 2008, 07:19 AM
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MyBestKids2 MyBestKids2 is offline
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(((Katie)))

Please do try to stay safe. All of us here do truly care!!
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  #3  
Old Jun 13, 2008, 07:49 AM
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iamtwilight iamtwilight is offline
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I promise I will :-) Going to focus the energy on dancing tonight and yes, no alcohol or anything like that!
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  #4  
Old Jun 29, 2008, 06:10 PM
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faultypen faultypen is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2008
Location: jersey
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I can relate to your rapid cycling and mania driven self esteem issues. PM any time to chat about it. Hope you had fun dancing!
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