Social Worker Appt. today - plus still itching!

I didn't want to go. An hour of "I don't want to be here". I tried to tell her that when I feel depressed lately I don't sit and cry. I sit in my room and watch tv- something that interests me. School interests me, but taking tests does not. We went round and round what this meant. Then she wrote out a schedule for me when to study what! Um... no! If I already am not motivated- for whatever reason- a schedule and a "you must" will push me the other direction.

Somewhere in there, she asked if I was using drugs- because I told her about this maddening itching. I said no. she asked if I was on my scripts. I said yes. I told her about takng zyrtek. No other ideas on the itching! I had to come home and take a shower. I don't know how long this will last. I changed my sheets, too. Shaved. Took a zyrtek. Its like I swallowed feathers- PLUS the crumbs thing! I told BF about what SW said and he said "She asked about heroin?" I said "Heroin??" and he said "That makes you itch." Yeah- creative answer but NOPE.

I told SW that my sleep's been messed up. Her answer was to not stay up so late. All these "pat" answers that I should KNOW logically. Then she sends me away- with "go to school, walk more, and study more". Yeah- again, logical. Not working for me right now. Sometimes I will laugh at things, and it isn't as if things don't interest me. But I don't think SW understood that.

Its my eldest's birthday, or I'd go lose myself somewhere. Rent a hotel room and get lost- nobody could find me. When he gets home I have his presents for him. I already said "Happy Birthday" around 6 this morning.

I don't know what I'm going to do if I don't stop itching!!! I guess call my psych. dr.

I'm new here, but I want you to know I understand your desire to hide in a hotel room where noone can find you. I'm 44 years old, and have done that more times than I can remember. I was only recently diagnosed Bipolar Mixed, so I never knew what was driving my extrememe moods. I'm sorry to hear you do not enjoy meeting with your social worker. I don't know what I would do without my therapist (who is a social worker). Anyway, I just wanted to let you know you are not alone.

I'm sorry you had a bad time at your appt today. People that don't have BP and aren't well educated don't understand at all what we go through or how we feel. Try not to let her get to you to much. I too feel the want to block everyone out and hide on many occasions. I hope your evening went well with your son's birthday and for you. Let us know how you are doing.

Thanks. I've been seeing this SW for two years. You'd THINK we'd have some sort of relationship that works. My new pdoc and I get a LOT more accomplished and I feel like I trust her more and I only see her twice a year- maybe more, if needed. SW wants to see me every two weeks till the end of the year. Supposedly she's well-trained in BP.

The evening went well. I even stopped by an old house of mine with my youngest because he wanted to sell a pizza kit to them for his choir. When I say "old house" I mean they bought the house from my parents in 1978- I was 6. Was a cool tour and nice people. We've said hi to them before but not for 10 years and so my youngest wasn't around yet.

Kids and I are watching a new episode of Spongebob and then its time for bed for them.

Tonight is a full moon I think- really cool looking!

my BF stopped by and said hello, but every time he's with me and my kids, he gets easily frustrated by them and I'm more tired of it today than usual. I just want to break up and ... ugh. Probably the BP talking.

Don't have any but want it and

All for now.

I'm sorry she couldn't offer you better opinions/answers, or at least something you didn't know the answer to. Is your comfort level with her pretty good? Is it time for a change?

BTW, my sons favorite SpongeBob song is "Goofy Goober", he has it downloaded on his MP3 player.

Good luck and keep us updated!


Dee