[jamox01]

I was diagnosed the other day with Cyclothymia a less severe form of bipolar. This summer I got a DUI and up to that point I have done many reckless things in my life. I am currently unemployed and have been for almost two years. I have been fired from 2 good jobs in the last five years and have up and quit from three in the same period.

I'm on probation for the DUI and as a condition I must find a job or I can go to jail for six months. I accept what I did and expect to be punished but now I find out that I have a mental illness things are starting to make sense with me about my behavior since I was a kid.

I am really upset because of this jail time hanging over my head because I finally am getting help for my problem and because of this problem I have made so many bad choices that who is going to want to hire me because of all this bad stuff in the past?

I also get so much anxiety when I'm around people including family that I can't stand it. I started on meds the other day and they make me feel groggy, dizzy, blurred vision, and a little unstable on my feet. I understand its going to take a while to find the right combination and dosage for my illness. When I told my probation officer my diagnosis he kind of rolled his eyes like I was trying to make excuses for not having a job. I want to work and be just like everyone else and not have to take meds but Its not going to be like that but I just don't know what to do right now.

The part that makes me most frustrated is that when I was a child the school psychologist told my parents that something wasn't right and instead of listening to him they along with my pediatricion decided I was just a happy little boy. Well I was overweight, had no friends, wet the bed til age 18, missed 25-40 days of school per year, and my grades were very close to failing every year. Maybe if they had gotten me help back in 1978 when I was 6 I wouldn't be in the mess I am now.

All I want is to be a good guy that can take care and support himself! I just don't know what to do right now.

[conigogo]

You are in a tough spot, Jam. I'm glad you are seeking help here on the site. Give your body time to adjust to the meds, but if they persist, make sure you let your psychatrist know. I understand about the needing to get a job situation. It sounds like you are doing the right things--perhaps your psychatrist could intervene for you with your probation officer. Whatever happens, keep us all posted, and keep reaching out. Always take care of yourself.

[jamox01]

Thanks for your kind words and understanding conigogo. It sure helps alot having a place I can come to and vent where nobody judges me.

I'm on a mission right now to find out out as much as I can about Cyclothymia, there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of information out there about it. If I'm going to live with this I need to become educated about it.

Again conigogo, thank you for your kind words and understanding, I appreciate it!

[bizi]

A diagnosis of Cyclothymic Disorder requires the presence of numerous hypomanic episodes, intermingled with depressive episodes that do not meet full criteria for major depressive episodes. The main idea here is that there is a low-grade cycling of mood which appears to the observer as a personality trait, but interferes with functioning.
http://www.mentalhealth.com/dis/p20-md03.html

bipolar 2:

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/sh...517#post396517

this is a rather long description of bipolar 2 the more depressive side of bipolar. it too has some hypomania as well.
just thought I would post this for you.