whats wrong with me?

i just cant fix this! and that bugs me. i have been in and out of mood swings, its not fun. and too afraid to tell my doctor whats up so they dont even know.... they gave me zoloft, and it just makes me worse. makes me manic. but i still take it. how stupid am i! whats my problem? i know i need to go get the right meds for this but i just cant make myself. just trying to cope on my own. just cycling back and forth and trying to numb it with benzodiazepines and zoloft. when will this stop and why cant i stop it?!

A lot of people have the perception that depression is a "normal" mental illness, but that bipolar disorder means a person is really "crazy." If this is one of the issues, getting over it can be difficult. Have you talked to your doctor or therapist about it?

Also, a lot of people are hesitant about taking the mood stabilizers...many of them have been characterized as having many negative side effects. Myself, I found mood stabilizers to have many fewer side effects than antidepressants, because they addressed my key issues.

Although you can't "just stop" your mood issues, there are many things that you can do...you've probably heard them all before, get enough sleep, keep a regular schedule, etc. I have a hard time doing these because my bipolarness keeps me going all over the place, but I try most of the time.

I hope this was helpful. Good luck in finding the path that works for you.

-apislily