[LoneRose]

Ohhhhhh today i went to see my psychiatrist, Simon, and i had my hopes up because of the reaction i got from the mails i had sent him.. Dont know if you remember but i sent him some links about bipolar 2 and he finally said he could see why i thought it could be my problem. He also asked about what medicine my brother was on, so i thought that this time we were going to talk about it all...... boy was i wrong!

The first thing he said was: well i guess you want to know what could make you have such severe mood swings without it being something chemical in the brain..

Then he drew this thing on a piece of paper about low self esteem. Wrote down: i am useless, i am not loveable, i am stupid and so on.. I said to him that i don´t feel like that but he continued anyway.. He then gave me a book on how to overcome low selfesteem.......

I feel so angry now! If it was "just" low selfesteem then why do i often feel really great about myself, feel better than others, feel so confident and flirtatious. If it was low selfesteem then i would feel crap about myself ALL the time right? And how does it explain my total lack of sexdrive for many months to then be craving it 24/7 and then can´t control myself and will be with man or woman.. Why do i love my husband dearly one week and then feel repulsed by him the next??? Why do i have anger problems? Why am i so sensitive to sounds? Why do have such an extreme realtionship to food where i either starve myself or binge eat?? Why am i so bloody irritable? How come i go from being so overconfident to being crying and hating myself??? Why do i have racing thoughts that will keep me up for many nights, thoughts that just keep being repeated again and again??
Is that all because of low selfesteem??????????

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i just don´t know what to do Now i don´t feel like going at all.. So many times today i couldn´t identify with what he said.

I am calling my doctor on thursday when she is in and will ask for a second opinion from someone who knows about bipolar 2.

Can´t believe he didn´t even mention anything aout it.. If he at least would have talked it through and given me some good reasons for why he thinks i don´t suffer from it.. Just feel so confused and disapointed now

[Taonuviel]

geeze... what a dolt. some doctors are such idiots... stuck on what they think is wrong and refusing to consider anything else...

good luck on the second opinion. can you switch psychiatrists?

[Razzleberry]

Wow, I'm so sorry. I would say go find another psychiatrist, if this one won't listen to you. I had one shrink mis-diagnose me as just Depression, then the anti-depressants made me manic - but I didn't really know what mania was back then, but when I told the next shrink all the crazy stuff I did (binging, shopping, sex, etc.) all she did was judge me for being a wh*re, and she never once mentioned Bipolar to me.

Three years later.....I finally have a correct diagnosis.

Just saying - sometimes you have to go doctor-shopping to finally get the correct diagnosis.

That said, some of your symptoms could also be Borderline - the black/white thinking with your husband, impulsivity, etc. But there is a lot of overlap between Bipolar II and Borderline - could be either/or, or both.

[LoneRose]

Yes i have thought about borderline as i can see so many similarities but i haven´t selfharmed for many many years and that seems to be a vital factor in borderline..?

[pegasus]

I'm not a fan of self-diagnosis. Leave it to the professionals. Get a second opinion if you need.

(((((((( LoneRose ))))))))

[Schatje]

I'm so sorry you weren't listened to. Even if they don't think that is what you have they should at least listen. Get a second opinion.