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#1
Nov 05, 2008, 06:09 PM
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I'm turning 30 shortly and I'm feeling sick to my stomach. The depression and the feeling that as I pass this milestone that my life is half over is starting to overtake me. I don't see myself as an old woman because I don't think I will make it there. Anyone else feel like this or been through this?
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 "Just living is not enough," said the butterfly. "One must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower." - Hans Christian Andersen |
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#2
Nov 05, 2008, 06:42 PM
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I'm an odd one....30 was fine....31 sucked!! I don't know why. It wasn't that my life was half over, just that the part of my life that can be written off to "being young" was over.
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____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut 
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#3
Nov 05, 2008, 08:33 PM
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30 was great for me. The only thing that sucked was my boyfriend at the time didn't treat it as speacial as I would have liked.
I think 34 was my bad year. I was so depressed and fat and ugly and old, etc.... By 36 I became skinny and very confident and didn't worry about my age. I'll be 38 in June. It worries me a little, but I think it all depends on how you feel. Age is just a number. You are still so young yet! I do understand when you say you don't see yourself as an old woman, I don't see myself that way either. But I'm still the same girl I was when I was 18, even better now! Why don't you think you'll make it to be an "old woman"? |
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#4
Nov 06, 2008, 02:13 AM
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I have a horrible constitution. I catch everything. If we lived in the time of plague I would have been dead long ago. In fact I probably would have died when I was pregnant because I had hyperemisis gravidarium and required extremely strong anti-emetics and IV fluids and still lost something like 16% of my body weight. Basically I'm not sure my body is strong enough to survive to a ripe old age.
I feel almost like I've lost the time I've had to depression. I've been dealing with depression that ranges from mild to clinical since I was 13. I remember having so much potential. Everyone told me so and I was right for a myriad of careers, attorney, historian, politician, journalist, writer, singer, but I could never decide what I wanted to be when I grew up. I never finished college because I couldn't decide on a major. Well now I've grown up and I still haven't figured it out. People expected great things from me and I never delivered. I’m not upset that I’ve failed others, but I feel I’ve failed myself and haven’t lived up to my own potential. I've let life happen to me rather than doing what I want with the little time I have on this planet. What happened to me??? Sorry I don't want to say pity me, but I don't know where else to turn. No one understands how much I loathe myself right now.
__________________
"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly. "One must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower." - Hans Christian Andersen |
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