[injaga]

If I no longer enjoy life, talking to people, doing what I have to do and always question myself about what is purpose of my life, what I should do? Is it important to be just alive? There is no hard pain, but no motive to do anything. I am just alive.

I only enjoy doing things that makes me forget about my life and who I am, what I have to do. Like watching movies, TV shows and surfing internet, play computer minesweeper, solitaire the most boring games. I can do them for many hours. Every real things I do like study, work, talk to other people is not tasty and I hate them and I don't get any pleasure. I do them only because of my fear. I fear that I might not pass the class, I might loose my job and become poor, if I don't do this I may hurt or disappoint my parents, I might let my close people down, if I don't do this people would think of me as a loser. What will people say if I fail this project?

I just remember that when I was a child I did all of them with pleasure and doing these real life thing were very important and I did them happily.
So far I never talked to any professional therapist, I just once told to my sister and my bf when I was very depressed. They told me don't be selfish and don't hurt myself thinking bad things and take some rest. Well that time passed but I am still the same.
Will I ever become normal and lively? Is it just very big lazyness or mental illness? What should I do?

[Berries]

I would never try to diagnosing anyone. I am not a doctor. And aren't supposed to do that here. However, I do have a lot of experience (personally) to say that you sound like you are depressed. Clinically depressed. Depression can make you feel ALL of those things you described.
You can't just make depression go away, because your bf and sister want you to.
You probably need some outside help. Like a therapist. And maybe even some meds.
I'm curious; you posted on the bipolar forum. Do you have extreme mood swings? Do you have extremely elevated moods as well as very, very depressed moods? That would be bipolar disorder.
Bipolar is also something that you would need outside help for. Therapy and meds.
Please, don't be ashamed or scared to get the help. Both are illnesses (you can't help getting sick, can you? It just happens to you) and both are treatable (you may or may not get "cured" but you will get better and you will learn to manage your depression, so you can lead the kind of life you used lead or that you would like to lead.
There is a way to search for a therapist near you here on Psych Central. Go to the home page and I believe it is a link in the upper right hand corner. I think you put your zip code in and the kind of help you need--like depression or bipolar and it will give a list of therapists in your area.

I hope this helped! TC and Merry Christmas!!!