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#1
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There is a me that nobody knows about..Inside me there is a angry little girl. I do not want to let her out. If I let her out then I have failed. Some people do not know what I am talking about or they just think that I am crazy.
When I was taken away from my parents she had to hide...In elementary school I never talked and hated being called on in class. I have learned that I have to be loud and I have to say things...The things I have to say is what everyone wants to hear. I can look at someone and know what they want me to say. I get into trouble because I don't look at people when they are talking to me or me to them. For the simple fact that I know what they want me to say... This little girl inside me has been fighting to come out a lot lately. She maybe angry but she controls me part of the time. I get upset and she wants to come out and yell...If I get too close to someone she comes out and does something so that I leave them before they leave me. She doesn't want to be alone and that is how it has been..Nobody knows how me and my little girl feel like. There was a doctor at a state hospital he understood...He understands that there is a little girl inside of me...I let him meet her at one point...But now the problem is is that my therapist lied to me and I now have no trust in her and feel I can not trust anyone...my little girl wants to come out and hurt her just as she has hurt me. The doctor told me that I just need to take care of the little girl and that is what I have been trying to do for years...The thing is is that I am not able to rock anymore.. I always calmed her by rocking and since I have moved into my own place I do not have a rocker to rock in. Rocking in a chair that does not rock breaks them..Trust me i know... I don't know I have so much to say but I know that nobody wants to hear it... LLL1985 |
#2
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![]() ![]() Are you still seeing the therapist? Sometimes it is hard to trust and we can feel the trust is gone when it is actually wounded and can be healed. |
#3
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Quote:
Then again I had one therapist I never trusted but tried to work with anyway and it was a waste of time! That didn't last long! My first therapist who lives pretty far away now, so I only see her for meds. is the one that forgot to tell me she might be moving... it was hard but I have forgiven her. She is still an important part of my life and I trust her along with the T I see every week. I hope this helps ![]()
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#4
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Ah yes, my little girl in me is often neglected.......she struggles to get what she needs in her adult body.......but it is getting better, and the adult in me is far more in tune with the child.......I often provide her with a big hug and a soft pillow......thats all she needs sometimes.
You can do it babe.......please get help on this treacherous journey....we are with you ![]()
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For all things Light and Dark.......http://thedemonrun.wordpress.com/ ![]() The only Truth that exists..... .........Is that there is no absolute Truth. |
#5
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I want to thank you all for your support..I am at my Grandma's so life is ok for right now..
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![]() Michah
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