I used to have BPD very severe then after attempts on my life and lots of therapy and meds (years) I finaly have been fairly stable for three years and getting more so each week.

So heres the problem.

I feel like a fake now as I am so well ! I am wondering if you can be cured and if I tail off some of my meds (not the paranoia ones as I cant cope with paranoia so dont want that back) what would happen ? I wonder if anyone else has been where I am and tried it ? If so I would love to hear from you as it would be fantastic to get rid of some of my many meds.

Thank you !

[paddym22]

Hey Tish

Thats great.......I am really pleased for you. With regards to the meds do you think your current stability is as a result of med compliance and that the mix you have is so obviously the right one for you.

If it was to do with meds like benzos and you are not experiencing any anxiety or sleeplessness well, yes, I would definitely remove them from the equation. But if it is the hard core staples, like the anti psychotics and the anti depressants, I would maybe ask about a dose reduction but unlikely stop them outright.

I definitely wouldnt do this on my own, only on the go ahead of a professional and then a taper programme would ensue.....dont go cold turkey.

I dont know, its a tough one, because really it is hard to discern whether your current good fortune is as a result of the correct talk therapy and an excellent pharmacological intervention or just your natural progression in life whereby BPD symptoms do disappear naturally........believe it or not this does happen.

I am in a similar situation and have got rid of the anti anxiety and sleeping medication as I dont need them, but I have kept my anti psychotic for the paranoia effects like you say, and have also continued a low dose anti depressant as I dont want to fall back into that trap.

Hugs to you dear Tishie

Paddy

((Tishie)))))))))))))) I hope its ok for me to post here. As I do not have BPD.
I do have PTSD which is so much better.. AS far as you being a fake . No way.
People Do get better. THats a yayaaya. My son suffered from depression for years. Hes off his all his meds. He was not faking it at all. As with anything talk to your Dr.
I think ppl can recover..thats just me thinking that. .,
Good job to you Im so happy for you once again talk to your Dr as paddy said too

Well so far I have taken my meds down ........

Carbamazapine 1200 mg to 400mg
Prozac I have not altered
Abilify I have not altered

I will talk to the Dr about reducing them some more but I must admit to being scared as I dont want to rock the boat but I dont want to just settle with what I have if you understand ? By just sitting here taking my meds as they are and not trying to reduce them am I failing myself some way ? Should I attempt for more in my life ie less sleep during the day which I am prone to do because of the meds ?

[Michah]

Hi Tishie,

Wow! You got some big decisions........coming off or reducing meds is always hard......

The question, and it seems most that have replied agree, is whether you feel better because of the meds or because you feel better because of you(meaning spritual and cognitive growth, the act of forgiveness by letting go of some of the past, by acceptance, loving yourself more.......you know what I mean

And only you can quantify that.........the fear associated with coming of meds that I have experienced is more to do with self-esteem and confidence.......can I do this on my own, without the meds?

My stubbornness won about 4 years ago and I came off all medication, all at once, after being on a heavy cocktail for years........however I was overseen by my worried and frustrated shrink......but it was my decision........know that I am in any way advocating that you do that, I was bit unusual and dangerous in my detoxing. But it worked for me.......

I have pretty much been asymptomatic since then with the occasional uprising of core schemas(related to a physical illness). But I know them for what they are and have the cognitive skills to deal with them. I still have a T and a pdoc to help me if I need it and often revisit old skills.

If I am making it sound easy, its not, to be honest, but I feel freer and more philosophical. I still get the really bad times that feel overwhelming but I push through and reduce stress and talk about it more than I did before. I guess my confidence is greater and I am much more loving of myself and all my foibles. I have made peace with my "werewolf", I am better at controlling my rage(I have not been in trouble with the boys in blue for a long time)........and most importantly I work on forgiveness everyday for I still have the same triggers(my parents and stupid people) but I choose my battles more carefully and spend much time "protecting" myself from harm.

I love more now, I have 3 very close friends, I embraced my anti-social, misanthropic self and strange mind and just accept that......hey!!.....this is ME! I also say NO a lot.......to things that I do not want to do. After all the years of terror and trauma, it is all about me now......

So, I hope you make the right decision for you.......and if I can be the devils advocate.......I wonder, that because you question, you have not reached an inner decision. The truth is always within, and one day it will feel right for you and it will happen the way it is meant to and you will have great success.......NO pressure.

Take care Tishie........the time will come and it will be GREAT!!

Michah

[heidi4dbt]

I believe that people can recover but I will talk with doctor about going off medication because some of them you need to go off slowly. You can always go back on them if the syptoms return again.

So much for getting better I have have done nothing but mood swing for two days oh well back to the drawing board...