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acrosstheborderline
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Default Aug 31, 2012 at 11:43 PM
  #241
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Originally Posted by layla11 View Post
I was told I had this when I was 19, my life has been a living hell. Most of it. Where does this come from. I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy. Do other people lead normal lives, work and so forth
yes it is possible to live a normal life with bpd also the symptoms become less and less problematic as we get older ..
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xxxispillcoffeexxx
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Default Sep 07, 2012 at 02:23 PM
  #242
This is all great, but what are we supposed to do about it?
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Default Sep 07, 2012 at 02:29 PM
  #243
change our beliefs

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Default Sep 10, 2012 at 04:30 PM
  #244
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thank you for supply this helpful understanding of this condition , acrosstheborderline
Yes indeed. I read every word carefully and agree to everything said. While we borderliners try to take on board and understand that is us who are in the most hostile, it's also very difficult to actually know the difference between our misplaced anger/aggression and the type that would effect a 'normal' person in the same way. Thankyou, this is a very inlightening piece of writing, bordering on good advice.

Waggiedog - borderline sufferer. XX
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cherubcheeks93
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Default Sep 18, 2012 at 10:31 AM
  #245
"Self control is unstable leading to impulsive behaviors and chaotic relationships. A person with borderline personality disorder may sacrifice themselves for others, only to reach their limit and suddenly fly into rageful reproaches, or they may curry favor through obedient submission only to rebel, out of the blue, in a tantrum."

I can relate to this so much< i dont know how my partner puts up with me ....................... luckly he does
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tohelpafriend
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Default Sep 26, 2012 at 02:26 PM
  #246
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Originally Posted by xxxispillcoffeexxx View Post
This is all great, but what are we supposed to do about it?
Good point. The more I read about borderline behaviors in relationships, I understand some of my reactions to others' flaws or immaturities.

Do about it? As I learn, I think I find more mercy and forgiveness...almost
detachment from toxic personalities because as I dig deeper into myself,
I learn I am not accountable for their flaws, nor am I interesting in fixing anyone. Nor am I interested in identifying wrongs hurled my way.

I'm more content in my strength, less demanding, but happy when I meet
people I can enjoy hanging with.

Peace,

".....help....a.......friend"

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Default Sep 26, 2012 at 03:53 PM
  #247
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Good point. The more I read about borderline behaviors in relationships, I understand some of my reactions to others' flaws or immaturities.

Do about it? As I learn, I think I find more mercy and forgiveness...almost
detachment from toxic personalities because as I dig deeper into myself,
I learn I am not accountable for their flaws, nor am I interesting in fixing anyone. Nor am I interested in identifying wrongs hurled my way.

I'm more content in my strength, less demanding, but happy when I meet
people I can enjoy hanging with.

Peace,

".....help....a.......friend"
You have come much farther than I have. I need to learn to depend on my own strength and feel content being alone if necessary. The longer I am alone, the better I get with depending on myself and my inner strength. I can even get to the point where I don't even feel alone. I am always liable, however, to fall in with a toxic personality or just someone who appears to be genuine. I don't know how to get close, how to have fun, how to trust, and once I get too close and get past some invisible barrier known only to my mind, I do get clingy, manipulative and possessive, and, of course, the relationship doesn't last and all the BPD stuff comes out full-force. I need to depend on myself and my own self-worth no matter what...and I'm not there yet.

Helpafriend, I understand you're not accountable to other people's flaws and that you can't fix them, but don't become cynical towards others either. I admire your strength and hope I can eventually get there.
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tohelpafriend
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Default Sep 30, 2012 at 06:51 PM
  #248
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You have come much farther than I have. I need to learn to depend on my own strength and feel content being alone if necessary. The longer I am alone, the better I get with depending on myself and my inner strength. I can even get to the point where I don't even feel alone. I am always liable, however, to fall in with a toxic personality or just someone who appears to be genuine. I don't know how to get close, how to have fun, how to trust, and once I get too close and get past some invisible barrier known only to my mind, I do get clingy, manipulative and possessive, and, of course, the relationship doesn't last and all the BPD stuff comes out full-force. I need to depend on myself and my own self-worth no matter what...and I'm not there yet.

Helpafriend, I understand you're not accountable to other people's flaws and that you can't fix them, but don't become cynical towards others either. I admire your strength and hope I can eventually get there.
Maranara: Hi, and ty for your response. That is a good point you make.
In the next BPD chat I hope to share some perspectives from recent research work. Like how to stop the repeating self destructive behaviors, understanding the core issues, defense mechanisms and compulsive behaviors leaking out for the borderline. Your 'invisible barrier' might be fear.
I look forward to sharing thoughts in chat. Peace, "tohelpafriend"

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Default Oct 04, 2012 at 07:27 PM
  #249
[quote=ECHOES;1155489]I like this description of BPD because it is more than just a list, and I suppose because I relate to it very much. Learning more about BPD has helped me slow down the processes and find words for what is going on.

When this diagnosis is offered, it isn't always offered as an explanation for how we relate to ourselves and others and the intense emotions that result.
It is a complex way of being, as one thing affects another..affects another. It is no wonder we often feel overwhelmed.
I feel so fortunate to have a psychotherapist who understands, accepts, and is kind and patient.

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Is it known how often BPD's follow through with suicide threats?
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Confused Oct 04, 2012 at 07:48 PM
  #250
My wife fits this like a glove. I wish I knew BPD when I met her. So many years thinking this is what everybody deals with....
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flipper34
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Default Oct 08, 2012 at 03:52 AM
  #251
Thank you for posting this. I haven't been able to find anything that was that easy to understand. Most descriptions I've read are filled with psychological jargon and I get lost in the point. It makes perfect sense now. I was just diagnosed with BPD and this description suits me.


Flip

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Default Oct 08, 2012 at 10:36 AM
  #252
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Originally Posted by acrosstheborderline View Post
yes it is possible to live a normal life with bpd also the symptoms become less and less problematic as we get older ..
That is a theory but not always true. I'd been relatively fine for years and then circumstances put me right back where I was as a teenager. I've met a number of people on here in similar situations. I think BPD can improve or get worse....it all depends on what life throws at you. If you have nothing dramatic happen, it will get better over time. If you get involved in a relationship, are afraid of being abandonded, or adverse things happen, it will come right back. Just depends.
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powertools321
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Default Oct 15, 2012 at 11:02 AM
  #253
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Originally Posted by shelly belly View Post
does anyone know of any support groups out there. The mental health team are failing me big time
Check out NAMI, and see if they have anything in your area.
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powertools321
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Default Oct 15, 2012 at 11:06 AM
  #254
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Originally Posted by Maranara View Post
That is a theory but not always true. I'd been relatively fine for years and then circumstances put me right back where I was as a teenager. I've met a number of people on here in similar situations. I think BPD can improve or get worse....it all depends on what life throws at you. If you have nothing dramatic happen, it will get better over time. If you get involved in a relationship, are afraid of being abandonded, or adverse things happen, it will come right back. Just depends.
I agree 100%. I was coping fine until approx. five years ago then bam, crash and burn. Many hospitalizations, meds, etc.. So it getting better with age is definitely not the rule.
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Default Oct 18, 2012 at 08:49 AM
  #255
Power Tools 321 is right, this is more like me than Bipolar disorder. It's actually creepy, and makes me wanna cry..

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Default Oct 19, 2012 at 07:29 AM
  #256
This is a really good description, and easy to read...I don't know if I'm glad that there is something to describe how I feel, or freaked. Oh well. Good description anyway!
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Default Oct 27, 2012 at 11:36 AM
  #257
This is so enlightening thanks for posting ,I was offically diagnosed with BPD 7 months ago after being trated for Depression ,Anxiety ,OCD and few others in a period of 20 years but what I could never understand was why out of lots of other people with depression I always felt extra emotional, extra scared ect but I have spent my life trying to please everybody to the extent I actually feel other's pain /mood. I am in DBT therapy now learning new skills but if I feel so sad if I take a step back I want to give up, but I have to try for my kids and Husband ,I wish I could just wake up every day and feel ok I am not asking to feel over the moon just ok to get through the day .

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Default Oct 31, 2012 at 09:43 AM
  #258
looks like thats me!
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Default Nov 03, 2012 at 07:39 PM
  #259
instablity pretty much sums up my life......
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Default Nov 09, 2012 at 04:46 AM
  #260
is this the most scariest of mental illness. I'm scared of myself my thoughts, being alone and especially my impulsivness especially suicide attempts. They have been quite serious. Last attempt I was found unconcious by my Dad. I wished he'd never found me. I wished I could have, "Do not ressucitate" on my hospital file.
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