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  #301  
Old Mar 16, 2013, 05:44 AM
msshaz72 msshaz72 is offline
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wow frustrating as hell though
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  #302  
Old Mar 23, 2013, 09:20 PM
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Perdue:

Relationships are where borderline personality people have a problem. My daughter-in-law was jealous of the relationship I had with my son and grandchildren. It seems that people who pay too much attention to her loved ones makes her feel so insecure. She has lost a lot of her friends because they really liked my son. They seemed to pose a threat to her.
  #303  
Old Mar 25, 2013, 08:02 AM
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Yep this is so me. There are maybe a couple to slight few things on the list that may have been the case way in the past (suicidal attempts to self-injury) but the rest of this fits me to a tee.
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"And you always want what you're running from. It's always been that way." Bittersweet Lyrics by Ellie Goulding

"The reason I hold on, cause I need this hole gone." (Stay by Rihanna)

"The opposite of love's indifference." (Stubborn Love, The Lumineers)
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  #304  
Old Mar 25, 2013, 06:21 PM
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Originally Posted by wadingthruemotions View Post
Yep this is so me. There are maybe a couple to slight few things on the list that may have been the case way in the past (suicidal attempts to self-injury) but the rest of this fits me to a tee.

Hope that you are getting help. You need lots of support to cope with this. All the best.:
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  #305  
Old Mar 27, 2013, 07:02 AM
Sleepyhead12 Sleepyhead12 is offline
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I was recently diagnosed with a lot of BPD traits, however I can't identify with self loathing and self harm part which I believe most other sufferers have issues with so does that make me a fake BPD? I am by no means narcissistic but I pity myself and the inner child in me more so I really don't want to hurt her anymore that what she's going through. I also don't depend on any drugs, food or alcohol but I was very promiscuous in my 20's but I somehow overcame that habit. I am now 31.
  #306  
Old Mar 27, 2013, 07:22 PM
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wadingthruemotions wadingthruemotions is offline
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Anyone here already in 'official' therapy for BPD? Is group therapy really needed and do you have to do that if you are really against it?
Anyone found something that really works for them to control the impulses and instability that one has with this condition?
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"Death is easy, peaceful: Life is harder"

"The Day You Turned On Me Is The Day I Died,
And I've Forgotten What It's Like,
And How It Feels To Be Alive" (Daughtry-Gone)

"And you always want what you're running from. It's always been that way." Bittersweet Lyrics by Ellie Goulding

"The reason I hold on, cause I need this hole gone." (Stay by Rihanna)

"The opposite of love's indifference." (Stubborn Love, The Lumineers)
  #307  
Old Mar 28, 2013, 11:52 PM
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greentires4me greentires4me is offline
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Originally Posted by wadingthruemotions View Post
Anyone here already in 'official' therapy for BPD? Is group therapy really needed and do you have to do that if you are really against it?
Anyone found something that really works for them to control the impulses and instability that one has with this condition?
I am in "official" therapy for BPD its called DBT. Here they do DBT in a group therapy format other places they could have one on one.

with the impulses I try distraction techniques and they have me on drug to try to control my impulses but I don't see it working as much since I still have the urges to do lots of things.

I hoped this at least helps answer your questions
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  #308  
Old Apr 06, 2013, 04:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pollywannacracker View Post
Perdue:

Relationships are where borderline personality people have a problem. My daughter-in-law was jealous of the relationship I had with my son and grandchildren. It seems that people who pay too much attention to her loved ones makes her feel so insecure. She has lost a lot of her friends because they really liked my son. They seemed to pose a threat to her.
Hi,
I agree, relationships can be problematic for those who have identified "their own" symptoms and acting out, choosing relationships that are dangerous, unavailable, or they choose to use their defense mechanisms. My T and I started Marsha Linehan's course, but I just wasn't getting any "changes". Borderlines can be stress and/or depressed if they are not busy and hardworking - it gives some measure of satisfaction to fill the void of their emotional state and/or desires to be in a committed relationship.

These are things I've identified in me...they can be several combinations, and I think M. Linehan was onto something. They exercises take alot of review and practice

Our childhood and interactions with parents/sibs/peers have had a huge impact on us. You have to know deep down who you are and the talents you are to pursue in life,or you will forever be acting out someone else. I did acting in college and now I long to try that again, as an outlet.

Some borderlines are perfectionists, but most are not manipulative or controlling (I am sure of this; nor am I passive) and most can id those who are and these are toxic people to avoid socially, or in a close relationship. Some borderlines also suffer from sociopathy with damed up bad emotions from childhood ( 1 - 6), be it from abuse or non-validity.

Last time I checked the forums for BPD, it didn't happen.
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  #309  
Old Apr 08, 2013, 03:48 AM
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Endeavy Endeavy is offline
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Yep Thats me too and unfortunatley my oldest son has this horrible disease now
and I have my doubts now on my middle son having Asperger's
I personally think it is BPD but he's only 11 so for now I will just go with it .
Thanks again for posting this I needed to read this again today x
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  #310  
Old Apr 12, 2013, 02:04 AM
Sistah Sistah is offline
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Thank you for all of the powerful information. It has stirred up a lot in me. I also appreciate the link to the web site. Peace
  #311  
Old Apr 12, 2013, 02:12 AM
Sistah Sistah is offline
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I have to add that what really pisses me off is that I've been diagnosed as having BPD and I only identify with 4 characteristics/traits. I don't have any problems with relationships. I have wonderful friends and great relationships with my siblings (parents deceased). I am not impulsive and has never engaged an any risky behavior. My abandonment issues are very subtle. I have learned to deal with them over time because I have come to trust and believe that my loved ones will never leave me no matter how bad I may feel about myself. So how I am suppose to deal with these feelings and or the diagnosis? Anyone out there feel the same?
  #312  
Old Apr 12, 2013, 06:37 PM
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I have to add that what really pisses me off is that I've been diagnosed as having BPD and I only identify with 4 characteristics/traits. I don't have any problems with relationships. I have wonderful friends and great relationships with my siblings (parents deceased). I am not impulsive and has never engaged an any risky behavior. My abandonment issues are very subtle. I have learned to deal with them over time because I have come to trust and believe that my loved ones will never leave me no matter how bad I may feel about myself. So how I am suppose to deal with these feelings and or the diagnosis? Anyone out there feel the same?
You have to remember that all diagnoses are based on what someone observes in you. They are not always correct. Many, many BPDs are diagnosed with bipolar before BPD. It could always be wrong. Take it at face value. If you have problems with unstable emotions/emotional dysfunction-dysregulation, the strategies to cope with BPD (meditation, DBT) will work for you regardless of whether you are full-blown BPD or not.
  #313  
Old Apr 13, 2013, 03:18 AM
Sistah Sistah is offline
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Originally Posted by Maranara View Post
You have to remember that all diagnoses are based on what someone observes in you. They are not always correct. Many, many BPDs are diagnosed with bipolar before BPD. It could always be wrong. Take it at face value. If you have problems with unstable emotions/emotional dysfunction-dysregulation, the strategies to cope with BPD (meditation, DBT) will work for you regardless of whether you are full-blown BPD or not.
I appreciate your response. Thank you
  #314  
Old Apr 13, 2013, 09:34 AM
Gabby21 Gabby21 is offline
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Sounds like Tink J.R. was right apparently. Tink is a friend of mine by the way.
  #315  
Old Apr 15, 2013, 01:34 PM
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Most of what is in the first post I can identify with except the trait of not being able to be alone. I took the sanity quiz and BPD was listed as a major concern. But if I understand the post correctly, inability to tolerate being alone is central to the disorder.

Confusing.
  #316  
Old Apr 15, 2013, 01:41 PM
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Most of what is in the first post I can identify with except the trait of not being able to be alone. I took the sanity quiz and BPD was listed as a major concern. But if I understand the post correctly, inability to tolerate being alone is central to the disorder.

Confusing.
That is not exactly correct. Many of us thrive on being alone. The problem is the lack of identity. We don't really know who we are and have a tendancy of latching on to others and taking over parts of their identities (acting like them, taking on their likes/dislikes, etc). When they leave, it's as though a part of us walked out the door too and that can be very hard to deal with. I, for one, am good with being alone. I feel like I kinda know who I am when I'm alone, but when other people are in the picture for any length of time, it makes their going away hard for a while. When that passes, I'm fine with being alone again. I hope that makes sense.
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  #317  
Old Apr 15, 2013, 01:55 PM
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yellowfrog268 yellowfrog268 is offline
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Originally Posted by Maranara View Post
That is not exactly correct. Many of us thrive on being alone. The problem is the lack of identity. We don't really know who we are and have a tendancy of latching on to others and taking over parts of their identities (acting like them, taking on their likes/dislikes, etc). When they leave, it's as though a part of us walked out the door too and that can be very hard to deal with. I, for one, am good with being alone. I feel like I kinda know who I am when I'm alone, but when other people are in the picture for any length of time, it makes their going away hard for a while. When that passes, I'm fine with being alone again. I hope that makes sense.
I often feel that I don't really have a self. All of my life I've been able to assume different personalities depending upon the situation I'm presented with. Always thought of it as a gift as it's gotten by butt out of trouble more than a few times.
Also, I'll often imagine what it's like being a particular person to the point of taking on some of their characteristics. People that have been in my life are sometimes confused by this but on the other hand, I've been told that I do have some traits that are consistent such as intelligent, interested in the arts and sciences, and conservative in most matters.
Does any of this make sense?
  #318  
Old Apr 15, 2013, 02:00 PM
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I often feel that I don't really have a self. All of my life I've been able to assume different personalities depending upon the situation I'm presented with. Always thought of it as a gift as it's gotten by butt out of trouble more than a few times.
Also, I'll often imagine what it's like being a particular person to the point of taking on some of their characteristics. People that have been in my life are sometimes confused by this but on the other hand, I've been told that I do have some traits that are consistent such as intelligent, interested in the arts and sciences, and conservative in most matters.
Does any of this make sense?
Not having a self can be both a blessing and a curse. A blessing that we can fit in to any group, assume any job and usually do fine. A curse in that we can find ourselves get too close to others which can lead to issues. Look back in the threads some. There are several on just this subject, and it does make sense.
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  #319  
Old Apr 17, 2013, 06:12 AM
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It's interesting how the emotional intensity of BPD is so similar to rapid cycling bipolar. Perhaps they are one and the same. The distinction being those with BPD had childhood trauma on top of their already unstable/highly reactive emotions?
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  #320  
Old Apr 18, 2013, 08:19 AM
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It's interesting how the emotional intensity of BPD is so similar to rapid cycling bipolar. Perhaps they are one and the same. The distinction being those with BPD had childhood trauma on top of their already unstable/highly reactive emotions?
BPDs can cycle much faster, can literally go through 4-5 intense emotions in the course of a few minutes while even rapidly cycling bipolar takes considerably more time. Also, bipolar can be "cured" by the proper meds. While meds can sometimes take the edge off for BPDs, it cannot solve the problem.
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  #321  
Old Apr 18, 2013, 08:25 AM
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Originally Posted by Maranara View Post
BPDs can cycle much faster, can literally go through 4-5 intense emotions in the course of a few minutes while even rapidly cycling bipolar takes considerably more time. Also, bipolar can be "cured" by the proper meds. While meds can sometimes take the edge off for BPDs, it cannot solve the problem.
Haha, I was just thinking how, if I was honest, I'd be adjusting the little mood thing on my profile every ten minutes or so.

I wish BPD was as easily dealt with. Instead we're given a mental illness that requires a lifetime of hard work and dedication, that very few people consider 'real'.

*changes mood from anxious to sad*
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  #322  
Old Apr 18, 2013, 08:44 AM
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Haha, I was just thinking how, if I was honest, I'd be adjusting the little mood thing on my profile every ten minutes or so.

I wish BPD was as easily dealt with. Instead we're given a mental illness that requires a lifetime of hard work and dedication, that very few people consider 'real'.

*changes mood from anxious to sad*
LOL....I've give up changing my emotions most of the time just for that reason. There is one called "roller coaster"...I guess it would work.
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  #323  
Old Apr 22, 2013, 03:14 PM
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Kelti Kelti is offline
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Hey sweetie! I am so sorry to have to tell you this, but, there is NO CURE for bipolar disorder. I have bipolar I. I know. Where did you get the info that bipolar can be cured with the right meds? Yeh right, been there, live with it, and it isn't going to go away either. Mental illness is for life silly...I am 62 now. When should I be expecting my 'cure'? tomorrow, next week, next year, ever? Never.
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  #324  
Old Apr 23, 2013, 01:54 AM
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Hey sweetie! I am so sorry to have to tell you this, but, there is NO CURE for bipolar disorder. I have bipolar I. I know. Where did you get the info that bipolar can be cured with the right meds? Yeh right, been there, live with it, and it isn't going to go away either. Mental illness is for life silly...I am 62 now. When should I be expecting my 'cure'? tomorrow, next week, next year, ever? Never.
I didn't mean it could be cured-cured, but usually with the right combination, providing they can find it, it can be kept at bay. Sorry for the misunderstanding I've having a steak of them right now.
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  #325  
Old Apr 30, 2013, 03:25 AM
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bluefish27 bluefish27 is offline
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Thanks for this post. It feels good to know I'm not alone with this monster, although I'm sorry anyone has to struggle with it. Love to all. Stay strong and never stop believing in yourselves
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