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  #151  
Old Sep 21, 2010, 06:18 PM
farmgirl farmgirl is offline
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Originally Posted by shezbut View Post
Very good description of me. I feel as though I try so hard. But, the chronic chaos in my life is maddening !

Shez
I feel the same way and have also been diagnosed with this.

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  #152  
Old Sep 21, 2010, 06:21 PM
farmgirl farmgirl is offline
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Me to exactly...by the end of the day at times I am literally exhausted from all the different feelings and the chaos in my head. I think that's how to explain it anyway?!?!
Thanks for this!
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  #153  
Old Sep 23, 2010, 05:07 PM
MoodSwingChaos MoodSwingChaos is offline
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This is a very scary realization. Ive been in denial about what has been going on with me for a few years but this is me to a T.

Thanks
Thanks for this!
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  #154  
Old Sep 30, 2010, 01:23 AM
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mostlyhere mostlyhere is offline
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It is beyond me how we can separate the mental and physical sciences.

I was sad when I read the bpd list, I have finally found the box I fit in and I didn't want to be in a box. I wish I felt better about having a dx and the encouragement you all share, but I guess I was holding out that it was the rest of the world that was screwed up and I was normal...

I worked really hard all my life to try and fit in, made a mess of most of it and well finally decided to tell everything of how I think and feel to the pros. It was a good thing, now some healing maybe even hope to get stable.

As far as the discussions on illness versus disorder well there are body disorders too, all it means is that there are a combination of factors that have made your symptoms appear. It isn't whether medicine is part of the treatment. There are many disorders that require medication. I have a Chronic Pain Disorder and it is neurological. Gee that even connects to the brain It does get in the way when you are trying to get help though because some people take disorders less seriously. My hope is that medicine will catch up one of these days. That we will look at all the things that go into making us sick. Mold can make you have psychological reactions for goodness sakes. Well I'm glad I have people to talk to that understand... it's nice to meet you all.
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aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHhhhhhhh... okay, all better.
Thanks for this!
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  #155  
Old Nov 08, 2010, 01:30 PM
tfried tfried is offline
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I havent been diagnosed with anything yet, but relate to all of it. It feels like a roller coaster that goes on forever.
Thanks for this!
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  #156  
Old Nov 18, 2010, 05:16 AM
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Sounds like me alright. I can go from feeling love for someone, then if they offend me somehow I can shut them out, cuss at them to myself and feel hate. Bu tin the past, when I love dit was intense and I made them a priority and kind of lost myself?
Thanks for this!
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  #157  
Old Nov 24, 2010, 10:38 PM
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When I read that very first post describing what Borderline Personality Disorder is, my heart literally jumped & started pounding. Finally I can put a finger on what I've been dealing with my WHOLE life. I've never been able to describe it, EVER. I feel calmer after reading, because i'm constantly dissecting my every move, trying to figure out what is wrong with me, but i've never been able to make any sense of it.
Thanks for this!
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  #158  
Old Jan 03, 2011, 04:47 AM
bonzi bonzi is offline
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I can resonate with this
  #159  
Old Jan 03, 2011, 02:13 PM
Anonymous32399
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I still...never heard of psychosis involved in borderline...nor hallucinations....specifically related to BPD...is there an informative link for this?
  #160  
Old Jan 03, 2011, 02:28 PM
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Hi, wolfie--In the DSM, #9 allows for it under severe dissociative symptoms. Try borderlinepersonalitytoday.com..they have discussions of symptoms, and bpdcentral.

I have to deal with this under severe stress.
  #161  
Old Jan 03, 2011, 02:52 PM
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Is it possible then...I am not D.I.D?That'd be nice...I am on meds for d.i.d and ppl said I shouldn't have been dx'd so fast...Geodon btw.I have had very few incidents since the meds....tell me ...(crosses fingers)...that I may not be d.i.d...if it is part of my B.P.D...I'd be relieved.
  #162  
Old Jan 03, 2011, 03:46 PM
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Maybe it depends upon the conditions under which you have the episodes?

I don't know...I took Geodon (and Risperdal) for episodes, but when the stress eased, about a year into psychopharmaceutical therapy....I didn't need the anit-psychotics. Which was great because I gained 40 lbs in 6 mos on Risperdal......

I do still have the occasional episode, but very, very mild and now only seeing things and I know they are not there. It's unnerving, but I know what it is, that it will pass very quickly, and it does. This is my experience. I think it is very important to get your own evaluated in terms of some kind of differential...
  #163  
Old Jan 05, 2011, 10:34 PM
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tattoogirl33 tattoogirl33 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ECHOES View Post
I like this description of BPD because it is more than just a list, and I suppose because I relate to it very much. Learning more about BPD has helped me slow down the processes and find words for what is going on.

When this diagnosis is offered, it isn't always offered as an explanation for how we relate to ourselves and others and the intense emotions that result.
It is a complex way of being, as one thing affects another..affects another. It is no wonder we often feel overwhelmed.
I feel so fortunate to have a psychotherapist who understands, accepts, and is kind and patient.

The symptoms of borderline patients are similar to those for which most people seek psychiatric help: depression, mood swings, the use and abuse of drugs, alcohol, or food as a means of trying to feel better; obsessions, phobias, feelings of emptiness and loneliness, inability to tolerate being alone.

In addition, these patients displayed great difficulties in controlling ragefulness; they were unusually impulsive, they fell in and out of love suddenly; they tended to idealize other people and then abruptly despise them. A consequence of all this was that they typically looked for help from a therapist and then suddenly quit in terrible disappointment and anger.

Underneath all these symptoms, therapists began to see in borderline people an inability to tolerate the levels of anxiety, frustration, rejection and loss that most people are able to put up with, an inability to soothe and comfort themselves when they become upset, and an inability to control the impulses toward the expression, through action, of love and hate that most people are able to hold in check. What seems to be of central importance in the symptoms and difficulties mentioned above is that the hallmark of the "borderline" personality is great difficulty in holding on to a stable, consistent sense of one's self: "What am I?" these people ask. "My life is in chaos; sometimes I feel like I can do anything—other times I want to die because I feel so incompetent, helpless and loathsome. I'm a lot of different people instead of being just one person."

The one word that best characterizes borderline personality is "instability." Emotions are unstable, fluctuating wildly, often for no discernible reason. Thought processes are unstable—rational and clear at times, quite extreme and distorted at other times. Behavior is unstable—often with periods of excellent conduct, high efficiency and trustworthiness alternating with outbreaks of regression to childlike states of helplessness and anger, suddenly quitting a job, withdrawing into isolation, failing.

Self control is unstable leading to impulsive behaviors and chaotic relationships. A person with borderline personality disorder may sacrifice themselves for others, only to reach their limit and suddenly fly into rageful reproaches, or they may curry favor through obedient submission only to rebel, out of the blue, in a tantrum.

Associated with this instability is terrible anxiety, guilt and self-loathing for which relief is sought at any cost—medicine, drugs, alcohol, overeating, suicide. Sadly, oddly, self-injury is discovered by many borderline people to provide faster relief than anything else—cutting or burning themselves stops the anxiety temporarily.

The effect upon others of all this trouble is profound: family members never know what to expect from their volatile child, siblings, or spouse, except they know they can expect trouble: suicide threats and attempts, self-inflicted injuries, outbursts of rage and recrimination, impulsive marriages, divorces, pregnancies and abortions; repeated starting and stopping of jobs and school careers, and a pervasive sense, on the part of the family, of being unable to help.
OMG THIS IS SOOOOOOO ME!! Married AND Divorced 3 times.. 3 children 2 dad's.. engaged countless times.. get angry at my mother for just sayin HI... "yes I came to visit but don't freakin talk to me!" You're so right, best description yet!! THX!
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Thanks for this!
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  #164  
Old Jan 06, 2011, 10:26 PM
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Echos...THX for putting this up...very informative and....saw a lot of myself in there....an eye opener...again, THX
Thanks for this!
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  #165  
Old Jan 06, 2011, 10:29 PM
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Wolf...maybe not D.I.D.? .... need to look deeper into this maybe?
  #166  
Old Jan 07, 2011, 02:59 AM
Anonymous32399
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Idk...I got off the geodon and the symptoms returned.I phoned my doc and I am supposed to get back on.It happens when I am very stressed.When I called the doc whose care I was under during last hospitalization ...I asked why I was dx so fast and he said that it was based on this hospitalization as well as my history since 1994.I am very stressed because the 7th is son bday and with xmas I soooo missed my mum her hubby my son and my oldest too.grr....annnnnywayzzz
  #167  
Old Feb 01, 2011, 08:39 PM
bellatastixx bellatastixx is offline
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Wow, this seems so much like me. And I thought I was just imagining all of the chaos in my head. Getting a psychological evaluation on Monday, though, so I guess I 'll find out...
  #168  
Old Feb 13, 2011, 04:01 PM
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waggiedog waggiedog is offline
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Oh, there ARE some like me out there!! I waited 30 years for a psych to diagnose what was wrong with me. I think that's sad. Thankyou for this site. XXX
  #169  
Old Feb 17, 2011, 10:30 PM
edmonton01 edmonton01 is offline
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I think my mom has BPD, everything I read and especially what I have lived through the past 50 years, tells me this is it. I am trying to prcess this and the chaos she continues to create!
  #170  
Old Feb 18, 2011, 08:35 AM
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I think I have this, even though I am only seventeen.
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  #171  
Old Mar 09, 2011, 05:50 PM
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I'd like to respond to a post you made earlier, Wolfsong: "I still...never heard of psychosis involved in borderline...nor hallucinations....specifically related to BPD...is there an informative link for this?

If you read anything of the research by Kernberg, Clarkin, Yoeman or Linehan (clincial research writings), you'll find them discuss periods of psychoic thinking by individuals with BPD. This is not to say that ALL people diagnosed with BPD experience psychotic thinking, delusions and/or hallucinations. It is usually observed in individuals who are highly stressed. For example, Clarkin talks about individuals with BPD having delusional/psychotic reactions in therapy (evident only in therapy and not outside the therapeutic setting). I think he talks about a client believing that the therapist "spit on the sidewalk" everytime he saw her out in the community. Didn't happen, or at least, CLarkin said it didn't happen LOL, but the client truly believed that her therapist was performing this act whenever he observed her in the community.

From a personal aside, I can say that about eight years ago when I had a major breakdown, I was walking along the sidewalk near a major intersection. I suddenly saw a small dog dart out into the middle of the road and then crushed beneath the tires of a car. I reacted with horror. I remember the incident distinctly--every physical and emotional reaction on my part. When I opened my eyes, I was surprised to see the cars passing normally, no poor dog dead in the roadway, not even a screech of tires indicating that cars tried to dodge a dog. I was under terrible emotional stress at the time. Have I hallucinated since. Absolutely not. In fact, I'm a person with BPD who does not act out in rage (my rage is directed inward) and I have been successfully employed in a high level job for over twenty-seven years. My BPD traits are more about the Quiet Borderline (interesting book on that subject by Yance Sherwood and Charles Cohen). The important thing to remember about BPD is that it doesn't present cleanly and perfectly as described by the DSM. As people tell us who treat BPD, we have to stop thinking in Black and White, treaters need to remember that BPD isn't Black and White--there are shades of gray in there too!
  #172  
Old Apr 07, 2011, 01:25 AM
jnet jnet is offline
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I have been married 30 years to, what I only now discovered, a man with BPD. Walking on eggshells really explains how our children and I have lived these many years. My husband and I separated several months ago. He has stormed out of my life many times and will most likely return once again, and this time I want to be ready nd educated to cope with his mood swings, frustration, and anger. I hope I have come to the right place! Thank you for being there.
  #173  
Old Apr 07, 2011, 05:07 AM
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ECHOES ECHOES is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jnet View Post
I have been married 30 years to, what I only now discovered, a man with BPD. Walking on eggshells really explains how our children and I have lived these many years. My husband and I separated several months ago. He has stormed out of my life many times and will most likely return once again, and this time I want to be ready nd educated to cope with his mood swings, frustration, and anger. I hope I have come to the right place! Thank you for being there.
Welcome!

I'm sorry you are having difficulty in your marriage.

Here is another site that is geared toward families of borderline personality disorder that you might find useful, too. http://www.bpdfamily.com/message_board/

Best wishes to you!
  #174  
Old May 01, 2011, 06:55 AM
babic1 babic1 is offline
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I must say i love this description! possibly the best one ive seen...
Thanks for this!
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  #175  
Old May 01, 2011, 10:52 PM
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blackhumor blackhumor is offline
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Wow, thanks for that description. I have been diagnosed with BPD for several years now but this is the first time I have read a description that I could totally identify with. For once it was in plain English and it made sense to me. It also seems to me that for about the last 2 months at least my BPD has been out of control so right now it all really makes sense. So, really, thanks it helped a lot.
Thanks for this!
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