Borderline PD symptoms description

To TatteredandTorn reply to post #43

I too was great at putting up a good front. But if you want to get some relief (you will never be healed of this) you really, really, do need to tell the Dr or show him your post exactly as it is written. Just stuffing down your feeling of self harm does not mean that because you don't do it you are OK. Those thoughts can be dangerous and left untalked about could come to the surface and happen.

Don't worry about your pdoc's feelings. You are paying him. Tell him/her everything and then you can reasses your diagnosis. He can handle being right or wrong. If he can't, move on to another pdoc!!

I hear your pain about not wanting to be hospitalized. If you had pneumonia would you be afraid of being admitted? No. You would probably think that the hosp. is where they can help you. Exactly the same is true with a mental hosp. It is only society that makes that place scary. Where do we get all the scary and inaccurate 'facts' about mental hosp.? From TV and Movies! They are usually not very true, helpful or comforting, and some are right out of the 1940's movies!!!

So please don't let fear and lies scare you from getting the help you need. You will feel better. And YOU ARE WORTH IT!! Look For The Laughter!! bipolarbearV

Reply to post #61 from lou99pop

BPD in the US is considered an illness. It is in the 'Bible' for pdocs the DSM. You can view this in your libraries. I found out the borderline part of the name means borderline between neurosis and psychosis. Neurosis just means our own individual quirks that are unique to us and that normally don't hurt anyone else. Psychosis is a detachment from reality. Wanting to die, self-harm, hallucinations, delusions,
unusual thought patterns, unusual activity among lots of other things. Psychosis, hallucinations and thinking problems can be treated by therapy and by medicine. Anti-psychotics such as Zyprexa, Rispridril and Seroquel can stop the crazy thoughts and often restore normal activity in most. By my definition it is an illness because it can be treated with medicine. But, what does it really matter? Mental Illness is not understood by the public and there is much fear and stigma. When I talk to nurses and non psychiatric Drs, most of them don't know or understand that medicine can help offset many symptoms. If they of all people, don't get what a disease or illness is, than who will? The future of our illness is up to us. We need to teach others and de-mystify our disorders. I hope this helps. Look For The Laughter!! bipolarbearV

Hi, I have BPD and all my life I have had a terrible time accepting criticism. I am 57. As a child I would call my Mom a liar when she returned from parent-teacher conferences where she shared with me the good and bad things the teachers had said about me. So she made me go to all P-T conferences so I would believe the criticism were honest. It was humiliating.

It's wierd though, while reacting terribly to criticism at the same general time I would also be asking and begging other people to tell me who I was and what were positive things about myself. My friends would rarely share their thoughts with me and it made me believe that I really did not have any good qualities about me. It was not until I was diagnosed BPD that I realized that there were others out there just like me!! What a relief! And after therapy and gaining life's wisdom I figured out what I was I thought I was good at and didn't give a flip if anyone else agreed. So now I can take criticism. I just consider the source--friend or foe--and let it roll off my back. I hope that helps. bipolarbearV Look For The Laughter!

Thanks for sharing that description.
I have been diagnosed with bipolar and ptsd. But it seems I go into such a non functioning funk when I get depressed that I know have axis II "borderline" features during depression.

I am confused in just trying to understand borderline. Because all my life I have been stable with getting my college degree in 4yrs, been marrried for 25 yrs have alot of kids and pretty happy, functioning and succesful life. But triggers seemed to have caught up to me and I crashed big time and the first I was learning of even depression was when I went into the psychiatric hospital.

I do see the description of borderline in all of us and I mean everyone. Don't we all have characteristics of borderline when we get upset, insecure, unsure of life etc.? And being very depressed in of itself sometimes suicide is an answer? So is every suicidal person, borderline??

I understand since I have ptsd I have trauma from childhood, I ge thatand I definatly see the up and down I go with bipolar but the severity of the depression puzzles me but again not enough to be "borderline"?
Can anyone help with me with understanding?

Thanks

I think I have this - self-diagnosed. I'd never even heard about this disorder before and only read about it today...

Of course it may just be me looking for a mental disorder for myself. Before I found this one, I suspected bipolar, and consciously told myself that I was having a manic episode. Sigh. For some reason, I just want to be sick with something.

I was diagnosed with bpd, but i question it because i dont have the rage problems. I thought that was a big part of it, or am i wrong? can you have bpd and not strugle with rage?
"family members never know what to expect from their volatile child, siblings, or spouse, except they know they can expect trouble: suicide threats and attempts, self-inflicted injuries, outbursts of rage and recrimination, impulsive marriages, divorces, pregnancies and abortions; repeated starting and stopping of jobs and school careers, and a pervasive sense, on the part of the family, of being unable to help. "
the only part of this that affects me is the starting and stopping of jobs and school careers i'm really bad for that, i'm 25 and in school again for the third time. and already i'm thinking of somthing else.

excellent thanks to all who posted

Finally a wonderful array of informative thoughts by many who know what one who truly has BPD feels. Lovely group of people, so glad to find you all. The internet is a wonderful thing!

Hi it's me again. I wanted to give you another reason mental illness is an illness. When you stop taking your meds your symptoms come back. I did that with the anti-depressant elavil. I took it for a long time and thought I was cured. So I tapered myself off the med and lo and behold the big D was back with a vengance. If your stop giving antibiotics or insulin to patients, they get sick again. So same deal here. I hope this helps.

Personality disorders are not illnesses. They are the result of interrupted development and misperceptions about how the world works.
Many take no meds because symptoms tend to be reactionary and not something to medicate. Treatment with therapy helps a person to examine and rework their perceptions that cause the reationary distress that is very intense and very difficult. Unfortunately it can be hard for a person with BPD to enter into therapy or stay with it because of their mistrust of others and their intense internal experience of others, and of themselves.

For the latest information log on to NIMH.gov You will get a lot of info on any psych. disease, medicine, clinical trials and much more. This is free and is paid for with our taxes. NIMH stands for National Institutes of Mental Health. I hope this helps you.

I disagree partially with Echoes on it being a disorder or an illness. I think it is some of both as BPD does improve with anti-psychotics which eliminate hallucinations, voices and commands. Being brought back into reality by medicine often helps with the behavior part of BPD. I have had BP & BPD for 30 years, with constant therapy and medication. With DBT I am the best I have ever been but know I will always need support. And the Drs. have tried me off the anti-psychotics but my symptoms return. So for me anyway, it's a mixed bag. I hope this helps you.

I think BPD is part disorder and part illness. Why? Because most BPDs get anti-psychotic medicine. When these meds are stopped the hallucinations, visions, commands and voices ofter reappear. Beeing brought back to reality lets the Pt. learn the differences between healthy (Wise Mind Thinking) vs. Emotional or all Logical Thinking. That is a very short class in DBT!! I do think it is also a behavior problem where we can't remember the correct behavior in similar situations. The worry I have in calling BPD a disorder and NOT an illness is that it feeds ignorant people like my M-I-L who actually said to me,"Why can't you just pull yourself up by the boot straps?" She and many others can understand it much better by seeing it as an illness although I doubt she does even now. Since most of the other MIs are chemical, I don't see why BPD should be left entirely out of the disease category. I have had BPD & BP for 30 long years!

Medication for psychosis symptoms makes perfect sense.
I'm really glad there is medication that helps!!

I'll try. Think of each mental illness as it's own illness. Like bronchitus and pneumonia. They are related but not at all the same. But they both deal with our breathing. You suffer from Depression. There are technical terms but I'll just say there is minor, major, and severe D. Some D. also has Mania with it. Mania is frenzied activity possibly combined with lack of judgement in spending, sex, and eating. There is BP (manic-depressive listed above) and there's also schitzo-affective disorder that is both BP and Scitzophrenia. To me, MI diagnosis is almost like reading diagnosis while they pass you by on a conveyor belt. Each one gets more and more severe or vice versa.

So the severity of your D does NOT have anything to do with BPD, except that you may also have some D while also being a BPD. Depression has one set of symptoms and BPD has another set of symptoms. However other conditions may cross over just to confuse us! Now that I have totally confused you, you may kiss my hand! (NOT) I hope this helps. If not, I'll try again. Or Not!

I have BPD ....there is psychosis and hallucinations?

I tend to differ with Echoes. She's written many wonderful posts but there are still more ways and words to use with BPD. Yes, it is a thought disorder. I think it can be learned by living in dysfuntional families and passed on either by DNA or role modeling. But on the same token, the instantaneous and urgent repsonses we do to soften the blows of 'abodonment' , make me believe it is also chemical. I don't think we can learn something that is so quick and intense when it happens. When there is an abadonment issue like changing roomates, if I feel threatened, and within miliseconds I am yelling, screaming or crying or laughing hysterically. It is SO quick and SO intense. All the 'practice behavior' in the world could not account for that behavior. And although my Mom may have have BPD she never responded that quickly. I think that mental illness is usually a combination of mental conditions of which we may have many at one time. But does behavior define all of these? No, but chemical imbalances could. Maybe we do not take BPD meds per se because Psych. is such a new field in medicine and BPD drugs may have not been developed yet. The best help yet that I have seen and used is DBT. But DBT is not something like math that once you learn it you can set it down. Everytime I have a relapse is it mostly my fault for not at least reading my DBT info. If you are in doubt if you have DBT, ask your T about your diagnosis (dx), He should not feel threatened and you are not doubting his ability only wanting to understand yourself better. If your T and you agree on a BPD dx then discuss going into DBT therapy and how you find a TRAINED T in that. You are paying for his/her counsel. I hope this helps. I've had BP and BPD for 30+ years.

I will try. I agree that we all seem to fit the BPD description. However, I think it is the intensity of response that makes a normal person vs. a PBD. We may also have more than one mental condition. We usually do. So while you are depressed someone else may be more depressed and suicidal. Each one having a different m. illness. Ii am BP and BPD. I am a moody over-reactor! LOL

(First Time Poster) I HATE being like this... I feel like now that I'm in my adult life, I can't find a straight path to take to accomplish things. control how I am going to feel or be at certain situations. It has effected my life so much and I feel like I am alone (although I am glad for this group!). My personality feels like it goes from one extreme to the other... and I cannot understand why does the word "LOST" describe me the most? Does anyone else feel like this? I thought these feelings would end when I reached adulthood.

i feel exactly the same...and i am just seeking help now (37 years old)i wish i had answers as well...i keep looking for a light at the end of the tunnel but i cant seem to find it often,sometimes it even seems there is a freight train coming straight at me....from what i read there is hope but will take many years,,,scary,,but if we dont try then i guess we would choose to live this way forever=no true comfort or happiness,for it seems as soon as one thinks things may be ok the uncontrollable feelings are there lurking....keep striving for better,i shall..

Bipolarbear, do you think when you stand up and walk? That too is a learned response. How about when you brush your teeth or say "Hi" back to someone who has said it to you first?

I believe behaviors are learned. Even Pavlov's dogs salivating at the sound of a bell was learned; yes food makes one salivate but there is extra association needed to learn a specific behavior related to a chemical response. Depression may be chemically caused (not always), but the behaviors are all choices. One decides not to get up and take a shower or to sleep instead of fighting the tiredness; where there are different responses to the same stimulus, it's a learned behavior.

Yes, behaviors become automatic and unconscious but that's because they were learned so well, repeated so often. Someone we know, love, depend on saying, "You're stupid" we are going to learn we're stupid. It probably has nothing whatsoever to do with reality (after all, what does "stupid" mean? That definition would vary according to the person using the word.).

Fear is very much learned, especially fear of something that has never happened. Think of how afraid you are of zombies and werewolves, etc. when you're watching a horror movie A lot of us learn to be afraid of being afraid! I think that is what happens when we're afraid of being abandoned. We haven't been abandoned but have made ourselves supersensitive to all the approach signs that we react to them as if they are the real thing. It's like people with OCD who have to clean what isn't dirty because it might be.

That's why working hard with DBT and other CBT therapies can often be helpful for one with borderline symptoms or traits. We can learn better ways to respond and better ways to perceive other people's and our own behaviors.

I have borderline disorder, but for many years doctors treated me as a bipolar, suicidal, anti-social, extreme mood changes (agressive to super sweet) and blablabla. I just found out because i didint tell them everything that was going on, like my horrible secrets of abuse during childhood, sexual addictions, i was afraid. now its just confirmed and only thing i can do is look for help. and help others too.. its not something we choose, life is funny...

Darkness I am for darkness I dwell, come into my darkness to see the light. Simply put...

Thank you for this helpful info. I had a question as to whether or not a person could have BPD and exhibit many or most of these symptoms except for the physical abuse of themselves and lack of drug disorder. It appears that BPD and bi-polar may overlap, is this correct?

Physical abuse and a drug disorder are not something everyone who is diagnoses as bpd has experienced.

It is about early developmental needs being met. Even the best intentioned parents can be lacking. They do their best, but it isn't necessarily providing what an infant/child needs.

Yes, I have heard of both diagnoses being applied or a person being diagnosed with bipolar, then bpd.