Borderline PD symptoms description

ECHOES · Oct 03, 2009, 05:38 AM

I like this description of BPD because it is more than just a list, and I suppose because I relate to it very much. Learning more about BPD has helped me slow down the processes and find words for what is going on.

When this diagnosis is offered, it isn't always offered as an explanation for how we relate to ourselves and others and the intense emotions that result.
It is a complex way of being, as one thing affects another..affects another. It is no wonder we often feel overwhelmed.
I feel so fortunate to have a psychotherapist who understands, accepts, and is kind and patient.

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from the site: http://www.borderlinedisorders.com/public.php

The symptoms of borderline patients are similar to those for which most people seek psychiatric help: depression, mood swings, the use and abuse of drugs, alcohol, or food as a means of trying to feel better; obsessions, phobias, feelings of emptiness and loneliness, inability to tolerate being alone.

In addition, these patients displayed great difficulties in controlling ragefulness; they were unusually impulsive, they fell in and out of love suddenly; they tended to idealize other people and then abruptly despise them. A consequence of all this was that they typically looked for help from a therapist and then suddenly quit in terrible disappointment and anger.

Underneath all these symptoms, therapists began to see in borderline people an inability to tolerate the levels of anxiety, frustration, rejection and loss that most people are able to put up with, an inability to soothe and comfort themselves when they become upset, and an inability to control the impulses toward the expression, through action, of love and hate that most people are able to hold in check. What seems to be of central importance in the symptoms and difficulties mentioned above is that the hallmark of the "borderline" personality is great difficulty in holding on to a stable, consistent sense of one's self: "What am I?" these people ask. "My life is in chaos; sometimes I feel like I can do anything—other times I want to die because I feel so incompetent, helpless and loathsome. I'm a lot of different people instead of being just one person."

The one word that best characterizes borderline personality is "instability." Emotions are unstable, fluctuating wildly, often for no discernible reason. Thought processes are unstable—rational and clear at times, quite extreme and distorted at other times. Behavior is unstable—often with periods of excellent conduct, high efficiency and trustworthiness alternating with outbreaks of regression to childlike states of helplessness and anger, suddenly quitting a job, withdrawing into isolation, failing.

Self control is unstable leading to impulsive behaviors and chaotic relationships. A person with borderline personality disorder may sacrifice themselves for others, only to reach their limit and suddenly fly into rageful reproaches, or they may curry favor through obedient submission only to rebel, out of the blue, in a tantrum.

Associated with this instability is terrible anxiety, guilt and self-loathing for which relief is sought at any cost—medicine, drugs, alcohol, overeating, suicide. Sadly, oddly, self-injury is discovered by many borderline people to provide faster relief than anything else—cutting or burning themselves stops the anxiety temporarily.

The effect upon others of all this trouble is profound: family members never know what to expect from their volatile child, siblings, or spouse, except they know they can expect trouble: suicide threats and attempts, self-inflicted injuries, outbursts of rage and recrimination, impulsive marriages, divorces, pregnancies and abortions; repeated starting and stopping of jobs and school careers, and a pervasive sense, on the part of the family, of being unable to help.

Oct 03, 2009, 06:23 AM

Thats me ....

ECHOES · Oct 03, 2009, 06:45 AM

............................

shezbut · Oct 03, 2009, 12:49 PM

Very good description of me. I feel as though I try so hard. But, the chronic chaos in my life is maddening

!

Shez

Pup · Oct 03, 2009, 07:04 PM

Me down to a T.

NoLeafClover · Oct 03, 2009, 07:38 PM

Yea thats me too.......

ECHOES · Oct 04, 2009, 06:52 AM

All of us

billieJ · Oct 05, 2009, 05:04 AM

Whoa, Echoes, that IS good. Thank You! billieJ

laurelpenn · Oct 18, 2009, 06:26 PM

wow,and i thought it was just me. that's perfect. still can't believe there are others out there like me...

"it takes a whole lot of courage to completely be yourself"
[-unknown]

opheliasorrow · Oct 19, 2009, 06:14 AM

Gosh Echoes this is so me .... I was diagnosed with it a couple of years ago but my current therapist doesn't like labels .... thank you for sharing this, it's good to know I'm not alone, though I obviously don't wish this on anyone either, I'm not very good at saying what I mean

hugs to all who suffer with BPD

paddym22 · Oct 19, 2009, 06:40 AM

At last something I can show to my family and partner to explain the core essence of who and what I am. I am very grateful to you Echoes for this. Thank you so much.

Paddy

naturalist1133 · Oct 20, 2009, 08:33 AM

It's so odd how I'm fine calling myself unstable, but when someone else did, I immediately shunned them from my life. I'm relating to this diagnosis more and more over the year.

jessicamr · Oct 27, 2009, 11:08 AM

I was just told last week that I am bp. I am just as described above but not so exaggerated. Could I have been diagnosed incorrectly?

larakeziah · Oct 27, 2009, 03:04 PM

OMG alot of this sounds like me!!!!

shelly belly · Oct 27, 2009, 03:53 PM

does anyone know of any support groups out there. The mental health team are failing me big time

ECHOES · Oct 27, 2009, 09:25 PM

shellybelly, let them know that you feel this way

rather than turning away. See if they can help you find a better way.

Or sometimes we end up in a type of therapy that isn't helpful. If you haven't researched types of therapies and therapists, you can do so here: www.guidetopsychology.com.

I was fortunate to finally find, after many years, a therapist who is psychodynamic/psychoanalytic and who specializes in bpd. She has a Masters degree in Early Childhood Development

and is certified in analysis. This is what I was looking for after researching. I found her by contacting the psychoanalytic insititute near me and asking if they had any candidates (students) near me. They did, my T. She has been a therapist for 20 years. I'm so so lucky to have found her.

I hope you find what you need, sb.

larakeziah · Nov 03, 2009, 01:58 PM

Omg! Throw in some depression and a few other things an that sounds like how i've been my whole life! Each time i read it it jus sounds like me!

crystalrose · Nov 03, 2009, 02:26 PM

i think i heard somewhere that bpd is similar to other mental health issues. Like c ptsd. I personally don't know cos i'm not an expert. I really have that name borderline. Its so negative.

peaches100 · Nov 04, 2009, 10:22 AM

My t has indicated at times that i have BPD, but she has also said i have PTSD. The thing is, I don't fit the typical BPD pattern. I don't cut, rarely get angry, don't do drugs or get drunk. i don't threaten suicide, or feel suicidal very often. But i do have problems with my sense of self, pretty bad attachment problems, anxiety, dissociation, and black and white thinking. I've had emotional abuse and some SA in childhood. Do i sound like i fit more into a PTSD classification or C-PTSD?

ECHOES · Nov 05, 2009, 04:19 AM

larakeziah, I think depression is definitely a part of BPD. Life is frustrating and difficult and depression is a response to that.

knothead · Nov 06, 2009, 07:57 PM

Since I was diagnosed with BPD a few months ago, I've read everything that I can get my hands on about it, which isn't that much, by the way. A lot of the info out there is really outdated. Your list of symptoms are the best that I've come across yet; I'm glad you have such a good doc, Echoes. Thanks for posting them, I could use them as my biography!

GoingInsane · Nov 08, 2009, 06:17 AM

Um yeah i am gonna reply even tho i actually feel like i dont deserve to cuz noone gives a **** about my opinion. I totally know those symptoms very well. I was told one time i think that i had or could have bpd. I have been "hiding" it pretty well for many years. But the dam thing is "saying to me" i am still here. Arg. Idk what to do. Anyway thanx for that post.

ngold004 · Nov 09, 2009, 01:30 PM

Yep, sounds like me, too! Unfortunately, I hate to admit it...but I know that admiting it is the first step.

AlteredState01 · Nov 10, 2009, 10:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ECHOES

I like this description of BPD because it is more than just a list, and I suppose because I relate to it very much. Learning more about BPD has helped me slow down the processes and find words for what is going on.

When this diagnosis is offered, it isn't always offered as an explanation for how we relate to ourselves and others and the intense emotions that result.
It is a complex way of being, as one thing affects another..affects another. It is no wonder we often feel overwhelmed.
I feel so fortunate to have a psychotherapist who understands, accepts, and is kind and patient.

As I have gotten to know my illness, I so whole-heartedly agree with why you like this description of BPD.

Upon first learning of this illness, it made me feel even more monstrous than what I had already been feeling.

For me, understanding the diagnosis in a more empathetic way rather than in such a cold and calculating perameter of set behaviours helps me to accept myself as not so monstrous.

The perceptions we have of ourselves: of life, love, fear, reality...

(Ummm, should have just said: "I agree!")

AlteredState01 · Nov 10, 2009, 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jessicamr

I was just told last week that I am bp. I am just as described above but not so exaggerated. Could I have been diagnosed incorrectly?

Maybe. There are many symptoms. Some may be more exaggerated in your life than others. Some may not be present at all. You could be at the beginning of the outward expressions of the disorder. The younger you can be accurately diagnosed, and the deeper the acceptance you have of your feelings, the better your chances, I figure.

It took a LONG time with a good therapist to get an accurate diagnosis (extreme honesty - even as you see it - is critical, too, if you want the truth), but I was a classic. And I knew it, deep down inside...when I was honest with myself (and it only had to be with myself to begin with).

(I...I...I... But I do hope this helps!)

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