[opheliasorrow]

I seem to be very impulsive, always have been - Since losing it in Therapy last week I seem to have gone a bit manic, I can't stop cleaning and if there is something out of place I won't settle until the house looks just right. Also if something needs sorting out I have to do it or I constantly worry .... it's like I get over one thing (stress) then something else rears it's ugly head .... I just wonder sometimes if I'm ever going to be 'normal' whatever that is ... is this a symptom of bpd? sigh .... hugs to all who are struggling right now, much love, Ophelia xxxx

[NuckingFutz]

Could be a symptom of several things...mania or ocd. I would talk to a t about it to be sure. Say, do you do otheq people's houses...joking.

[opheliasorrow]

LOL .... I don't suffer with OCD .... I like a clean tidy house but just lately I feel I HAVE to have everything in order .... maybe I need to get out more *shrugs* thing is I suffer with mild agarophpbia so that's easier said than done .... hate going out alone, always need someone with me .... Ophelia xx

No I don't do others houses ROFL ...... I will speak to T tomorrow .... thank you sweetie x

[shezbut]

(((Ophelia)))

My first thought was OCD or mania as well . But after a little thinking, I can relate when I recall how anxious I become as something dreaded gets closer. I deal with that anxiety through exercise, cleaning, and working it out with emotion regulation techniques of DBT. DBT does help me put the anxiety into words ~ working into the cause ~ rather than avoiding.

Is there something happening in your world that causes a lot of anxiety? The holidays? Seeing friends or family? Work? The more precisely you can identify the cause, the easier it will become for you to work through & begin feeling better. Best wishes and to you!

Shez

[opheliasorrow]

Gosh I know what you mean .... the only thing I'm dreading is a trip to the dentist to have a tooth out but they have to cut my gum ... that's not until the 18th Dec though.

Usually before therapy I get a little short tempered just knowing what's to come, but I'm quite relaxed about tomorrows session even though last week was just terrible ... I'm having terrible dreams right now, woke up crying a couple of times this week, flashbacks, the usual ....

I'm wondering if it's the 'after effects' of just a totally awful year. We've had illness, deaths, house taken off us, family issues ... just wonderoing if everything has come to a head as when my hubby was in hospital I had to go on autopilot and I found it so very hard each day to cope with everything ..... maybe it's just all coming out now, the stress? I'm ok, a little run down but just a bit manic ... and then exhausted lol ... thank you for replying it means a lot to me, Ophelia xxx

[shezbut]

to you!

I'm usually okay until I go to therapy ~ then I get brought down by triggers. Aaaargh! By the time my therapy sessions are over, I feel all depressed and worthless. Twice a week - such fun....Not!

Now that your hubby is feeling better, it's a better time for you to begin working through those overwhelming emotions (that likely were jammed away during the true chaos). Certainly makes sense to me anyway Sure worth bringing up this past week's struggles during therapy tomarrow!

Best wishes to you Ophelia

Shez

[opheliasorrow]

Thanks Shez ... Sometimes in therapy that hour seems like 5 mins, there is never enough time - then other weeks it seems I'm in there for ever lol ... yes sometimes I get triggered badly, but she always tries to get me grounded before leaving does my therapist, she's an angel that woman ... ((((((((((((Shez))))))))))))))))) sending peace your way hon and thank you so much, Kerry xxx

[opheliasorrow]

I spoke to my therapist about this today. She made perfect sense of it all. Because my brain had a temporary break down last week it is repairing itself by on the outside putting everything in order, becasue there was so much chaos internally, to want things 'in order' on the outside is helping me within. Also the dreams are showing up some really important things in my healing .... I've been feeling ill, aches, pains that sort of thing and that is also to do with letting go of all the negative things I've been feeling ... I hope others can relate to this too ... this weeks session was really positive and very enlightening Thank you all for your support, much love and peace, Kerry xx

[Junerain]

(((Kerry))))

Sounds like you have a great therapist; that your life is slowly ever so slowly becoming a life of peace.......that's my wish for you...(and me, too)

[opheliasorrow]

(((((((((((((((((June))))))))))))))))))))))

Thank you sweetie, I wish the same too ... for us all