[ECHOES]

I am more paranoid than ever lately. I can't relax in my own apartment. I like being alone, I have things to do, but I end up not doing anything for long and I end up frustrated. No one can see me. Believe me I have checked to see what someone outside could see with the blinds up, open, etc. It is more like the thought that 'if' someone could see me, they would not approve.

I have the next week off work. I want to just relax and be me, do things I like to do, enjoy this time to myself. I am afraid it is going to deteriorate into a panicky week of despair.

I just wish I could feel at home... at home... in my skin..

[opheliasorrow]

Oh Echoes I'm so sorry you feel this way. I just came to post here myself about paranoia then I see your post Sending you big huggies, I can hear and relate right now. Is there anything you are worrying about in particular? Are you on meds that maybe need the dosage changing? Wow I thought I was the only one to do things with blinds etc, fortunately now noone can see in this new house but before I would close the curtains in broad daylight so the neighbours couldn't see in and I wouldn't even hang my washing out ... self esteem issues. My friend I hope you feel better and enjoy your week off ... sincerely I really hope you can enjoy and relax, here if you want to pm me .... I hear you loud and clear. Ophelia xxx

[ECHOES]

Your words and understanding mean so much. Thank you.
I'm not on meds. I think it is the season on top of everything else.

[pinkcorr]

I can relate to this too, I often feel guilty about being me in my own home....actually anywhere really.

I hope your week off gets a little better.