[jacpeaceandlove]

I was recently diagnosed with BPD. i need help, i dont understand, i dont know where my feelings come from and why i feel them. It's as if i don't know who i am and that scares me

[ECHOES]

This is the discovery process that psychotherapy provides for us
It takes time. There is much to learn. Just learning how to slow down thoughts to try to see where the overwhelming feelings begin takes time, practice, help.

Maybe for now it would be helpful to simply accept those feelings. They are real and valid. You feel them. They are yours.

Do you like to read? I liked reading more about BPD. "get me out of here" by rachel riland was a good book, an account of her experience with BPD from hospitatization through her successful therapy.

Are you getting help through psychotherapy?

You may also benefit from the information at Resources above.

[jacpeaceandlove]

Ya i was hospitalized twice so i had automatic help and i still do but she doesn't seem to help me much. Yes i love reading, i read alot about different kinds of disorders but never my own i guess it just scares me

[shezbut]

Originally Posted by jacpeaceandlove

Ya i was hospitalized twice so i had automatic help and i still do but she doesn't seem to help me much. Yes i love reading, i read alot about different kinds of disorders but never my own i guess it just scares me

Maybe you need to start out with a DBT (dialectic behavioral therapy) group. A big part of that is devoted to emotions. Recognizing the emotions that you feel, leading to ___ behavior, which often triggers secondary emotions, more ____ behavior, and becomes a huge whirlwind taking over. Another huge part of DBT is devoted to accepting your experiences. Your emotions are validated. You are human, and are doing the best that you can in this moment. But, you can do better ~ and you will do better.

Personally, I watched a couple of DBT videos when in-patient. Marsha Linehan was the moderator and I found her to be exactly what I needed. I've just made it through one complete round of DBT and am beginning my second round (There are 4 modules ~ areas covered.) . It takes time, effort, and regular practice to make it through DBT successfully. For me, success = decent mood regulation, ability to make & hold onto (healthy!) relationships, acceptance of my past experiences and forgiving myself to build self-esteem.

Hope that this wasn't too confusing and made some sense to you. Take care!

[jacpeaceandlove]

it makes sense to me its just sounds very scary. i know that might sound very stupid but taking a step is scary

[Michah]

Originally Posted by jacpeaceandlove

it makes sense to me its just sounds very scary. i know that might sound very stupid but taking a step is scary

Yes, BPD is scary.......but it one of those things that can become familiar in time, and then understandable and then relatable.....one moment at a time

No-one wants to be unwell, dear person.......and it is infinitely frightening to step into the unknown.

But you cannot have peace......without first fighting the battle......

And you are not alone.......you have your battalion right here with you.

Take good care of self.......take that leap into wellness and know that you have support.

In stillness,

Michah

[ECHOES]

Originally Posted by jacpeaceandlove

i know that might sound very stupid but taking a step is scary

It sounds absolutely normal to feel frightened of something new and unfamiliar. The unknown feels frightening because it is not something we can control or predict. That evokes anxiety, but the good news is that you can take the step *and* feel frightened and anxious.
Remember that everything familiar...began as something unfamiliar.

There will always be some anxiety in trying something new--something outside of your comfort zone. Just the same the rewards can be very great for those who venture forth nonetheless and take the risk of making a better life for yourself.