[Strike10youreout?]

Based on my internet research, I'm finally realizing that my partner of 2+ years has some kind of BPD. Walking on eggshells is the term I've used before and I just ordered the book. My life becomes a living hell when he "acts up" as he has been increasingly for several weeks. We've broken up and gotten back together countless times, yet I can't seem to let go because it can be so good at times and it seems like there's so much potential. I'm not perfect, I suffer from long term clinical depression for which I have been medicated for years.

He seems to get mad at everything. He is critical of me then says I mean everything to him. He says I don't understand him. When we fight he will call repeatedly and either be yelling and mean or crying and needy. I want to help him but don't know how. I feel like I'm losing my mind. Do I give up and try to find something healthier or is this salvagable? Help!

[Perna]

Hi, Strike10youreout? Welcome to PsychCentral (PC).

When around difficult people, I think it helps to be as sure of one's self as possible, able to separate out what is "our" stuff from what is theirs and to know where our own boundaries are.

Maybe you two could go for joint counselling or you might like therapy for your depression and get help for yourself? I don't think anyone else can tell you when/if you should give up on your relationship with your bf, that is something you will have to decide based on what you see and want.

[tryingtobeme]

Best of luck to you. I think you have to look out for yourself, get the help you need for yourself and let the rest come as you work through it. I wish I had the perfect answer. Being BPD myself, I know it can be hard to live or help someone with BPD. I've seen my husband struggle. I will say it takes work and dedication to be with some with BPD if they are in the midst of it and not getting help. Help yourself first.