Numb

As a kid I was horribly harassed. In just about every and any way.

These days I've noticed I've become bitter, saying rude and hurtful things to people and then noticing I don't feel bad. I don't particularly feel good about it, but numb, very numb and I just don't seem to care.

What's wrong with me?

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I use to do that, very sarcastic and "mean". I think it's a form of "if I can't have it, neither can you", because one is hurt. It's like when we were kids. Perhaps it's a re-enactment sort of thing, hoping somehow we can be/feel on the "up" side this time. I think one has to decide they don't want to be that way and look for how things really are, learn to treat others as we'd like to be treated and gradually notice we are treated better, we do care and are cared for in return.

this makes a lot of sense Perna....
I guess I need to do some soul searching sometime, thank you.

I never saw it this way and this kind of changes my perspective

ty for sharing Bakery.

I go into this jaded, numb state, too.

I think it might be just my way of not feeling any more pain.

Billi

I think so too. Or I dunno. Feeling unreal.