[futurepants]

Ok, so I am one of those people who has been in the mental health care amusement park since I was about 5, 22 now.

I have been to 8 hospitals been on some 25+ medications all to no avail blah blah.

As for my disorder I have been diagnosed probably at least a dozen times, with diagnoses ranging from adhd and asperger's syndrome to my current bipolar disorder, but when I took 5 minutes to google BPD it is insanely obvious that is the real problem. I can't believe it has never been suggested but then again the following info may explain why.

I live in missouri and I don't know if this is local but it seems noone in the mental healthcare system here cares enough to do anything for me.

I have been without any sort of real support for years.

I refused to take meds when I was 17 because of some side effects (ending in a multi-million dollar lawsuit I was not elligible for, but still greatly effected by)

I recently took it upon myself to get things on track after many failed attempts to work/go to college I finally managed to get help and last december I was awarded SSI and I have been able to keep a roof over my self and reduce my stress and therefor reduce my overall sickness.

However... the last few therapists have been either incompetent, uprofessional or both in the case of my last one who lied about me missing an apointment so she could dismiss me due to repeated failure to show up. I lived half an hour away at the time and my only transport was a relative another 30 minutes away from me, so when times got mixed up we missed the apt on occasion.

The thing that has made me come to unfammiliar groups asking for advice is this lack of help.

It seems that the healthcare system is trying to make me give up on them.

everyone I talk to gives me a runaround and no psychiatrist will prescribe me anything, mainly because nothing really works. and this is causing people to avoid me.

Not to mention I have to be honest, I am a very caustic and very volitile person, I am a hair trigger borderline, and in honesty It wears me out, I need an outlet for emotions and whatnot but noone will take me.

I was able to get a person who's title I forget but he came to my house every 2 weeks and never did anything usefull...

Every therapist I have had since I made the decision to seek help again has been completely worhtless, idiots who can't steer a session for the life of them, and I need someone to ask me questions, you know, the stereotype therapist who asks you how things went last week, that stuff.

Lastly, no, I have no sources of support, my family is 100% disfunctional psychos. My mother being BP herself contributed to my sparkling personality by mentally forming my soft malliable brain into the mirror image of BPD and severe emotional fragility that I am so unfondly stuck with today, and I try to avoid the area 50 miles in any direction of her, which happens to be my hometown.

TL;DR Has anyone else had this much trouble getting competent mental help from people who actually know how things work and can get things done, and is there anything I can do to remedy my situation, as I honestly concede my issues and am actively trying to find help, albeit help that works, not "one size fits all" therapists who can't handle someone like me.

[ECHOES]

Keep looking for a therapist who specializes in treatment of BPD. I chose to find a therapist who offered the therapy I wanted (psychodynamic/psychoanalytic) and who stated that she works with Personality Disorders. I don't use my insurance because it has a huge deductible. Since I pay, I can go to whomever I choose. That's a great advantage.

One place you might try looking is here: http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/

I looked around this site when I was considering what type of therapy and therapist I wanted: www.guidetopsychology.com

By the way, a good therapist does not steer a session at all. A good therapist will help you learn about yourself; there is no medication for that.

If you like to read, a book about BPD that I enjoyed is: "get me out of here" by rachael reiland.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I have been there!

Thank you for sharing.

You seem to know what you need and where you are at.

It is really hard for me to find a t, too.

Hope you have eventual better luck with it than I had.

Billi

[kashmir0]

i think that what you need is to find a good psychologist and get to work. i know it takes a long time but it will do all the difference in the world. all this running around and pumping yourself full of meds isn't going to do anything. once you found the good psych, you'll know. and the healing starts there.