Anger

For those that think they know what it's like to be in the minds of those that have BPD, cuz they READ about it cuz they deal with someone that has it...You can't possible understand it by just reading about it!!! OMG....It really makes me sooo beyond angry!!!!

Why don't you if your really in a relationship if you luv them so much and want to HELP them and there really into helping themselves go to therapy with them, help them with there illness. Don't sit there and complain about what there NOT doing or WHAT you think there doing wrong cuz you read about there problems in a book and you think that's one of the problems that BPD people have, that they MIGHT NOT!!!!!

All people have issues...That don't have mental illness..We all live in the real world and struggle with stresses and imperfect life and parents and life, and ups and downs and crappy relationships that can effects us. Some of us have had issues that make us have diagnoses that are called mental illness some of us have diabetes or arthritis so what makes us really any different then the rest of society if were getting treated NOTHING!!! but YOU that make us DIFFERENT in your MINDS and SOCIETY and only you know who you are....I am only speaking to some people in some recent post that I don't really appreciate~~~I won't pick names as that would be no better then those who are misjudging the people who have BPD~~ Not all have this so called predatory so called mindset that's disgusting if anything were more then anything victims of other's....Because were people pleasers!!!! However....We all need support in healthy relationships and if someone know's that they can't be apart of that then they should dismiss themselves of that, rather then pretend to support someone that thinks that they wont abandon them....It's better to be completely honest with someone that's BPD it will be hard no matter what but the adjustment period is much faster then if you lie~~~~Of course that's my point of view.....Just angered by people that read books and think they know what someone that lives BPD feels and knows what it's actually like...You can't possible understand and judge someone from that so please don't, and whoever made the suggested comment of the hoarder OMG I have NEVER ever in my life hoarded anything I am the complete OPPOSITE~~~ Not one size fit's all in any mental illness so be careful cuz you can and are offending people when you generalize your statements!

Hi Kalisha,
I'm sorry stuff here is making you so angry.

Thank you,
It's not just stuff it's people that respond when they don't understand what it's like to live with this disorder.!!! It's fine to ask questions, but to ASSUME that ALL BPD people have this or that symptom or to link all people together as a whole because you read some books is simply uneducated and ludicrous and triggering to those of us who do suffer! I dunno. I know that my husband has yes suffered right besides my illness of BPD and DID and I didn't even know I had until 2005 when I was diagnosed! He has went to therapy with me and stood by my side, now that is not an excuse for bad behavior by any means, or an excuse for me to be out of line or to treat anyone bad and I have been out of line plenty of times I am NO SAINT and I have tried to sabotage our relationship and NEVER knew why!!! I have been hospitalized medicated and I am in therapy, I have a family and I do everything I can to do the RIGHT things now that I know what I am battling, but I did not have someone tell me that hey I read a book and this is the way YOU should be acting and so on and so forth, in fact my therapist a PROFESSIONAL who went to school and is EDUCATED in this very profession said specifically we all don't fit into one mold. There can be one thing more then just BPD going on or we can have this or that of the things that make us BPD but to call out the word PREDATOR or HOARDER??? SICKNESS ME!!! I am definitely triggered to the point I could not even write here for days!!! Sorry this maybe my defense mechanism....I just see it as ludicrous that someone can fire at people without having lived it....It's like telling someone with depression if you just get up and do something you will feel better, go for a walk, take that shower blah, blah, I know I USED TO BE THAT PERSON!!! Then I was humbled....OH BOY was I humbled..... Depression is awful and painful and it hurts deep to the core and no matter how much you fight wanting to get going you physically and mentally can't...But you can't read a book and understand that....You just can't....Dunno....Just pains me that other's can have such a misconception that they can read things and think and project that onto people as mere objects then people with feelings and sicknesses....ARG!!!

I know what you mean. It's hard to be shoved into a little box and labeled. I'm glad you came back and wrote. I don't think people mean to say hurtful, triggering things, they just don't know any better since they haven't experienced it. A little knowledge can sometimes be a very dangerous thing. My husband will read a book about disorders or something and tell me now he knows just enough to really stir up trouble. He usually decides to keep his mouth shut. He's a wise man. Take care of yourself. Anger isn't a good thing to dwell on for too long. Tends to make me really grumpy and snap at my kids.

Yeah your right anger lead to know good that's why I am actually writing!! Remember in our last little e-mail thing you asked about writing...Well at least I am getting it out rather then letting it sink in! IT's NOT RIGHT!!! I don't like the word PREDATOR and or HOARDER linked anywhere with BPD???? I mean not all as a whole anyway??? That sickens me it's a HUGE TRIGGER and people need to be careful with what they say? That's sensitive wording right there. And all you read in books is NOT TRUE of ALL people...Just like schizophrenics and what not...I have some very good schizophrenic friends that I would trust with my LIFE.....I mean people have just some AWFUL misguided misconceptions about people and it's so sad and ugly!!! It's the media that helps feed it too! My time my family is all asleep, however I appreciate your calmness on the manner you always seem to be that way, however that is not my mindset on these types of matters~ I am inside when I write not so much. Having DID I speak for a volume of people too!!!So It's allot harder to control emotions on that level arg..I appreciate your writing though and always trying to be peaceable that's a great wonderful quality that goes a long way and get's you farther in the long run!!!!

I know it's so much better to write and get it out. So keep it up. Now go read the T'isms thread in Phychotherapy. Maybe you'll get a laugh out of it like I have.


And i'm not always calm. you should see me when i watch stuff about politics!

Yes, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Thank you.

Hi BPD mess, I lost it.....she made me so upset i could cry!!!!!! (another posting by someone else)....I am soooooo upset and I didnt want to give into her words and just wanted to say that she is uneducated and stupid and wanted to be mean b/c she spelled things wrong and her grammar was way off and her comments were so upsetting. Working in an outpatient clinic with a boss who at everytreatment team meeting blamed cases he didnt understand on BPDs!!! was all I could take...I must find a way to accept all of this...I thought I had...I dont know how you stay so calm. I am feelng so vulnerable and upset that she was allowed to be here and upset some of us.....why did she go to BPD...why not to a forum where she could gain clarification through asking Qs?

hi stacymay, i'm sorry all this upset you. i guess i can stay calm (about some things - not all) because i know she just doesn't know. i don't think she meant to upset anyone. i think that most of the questions she asked would have been fine if they were asked in a different way. i've also learned from experience that it's hard to tell what someone really means by just reading words. i've gotten myself in trouble recently in emails because someone misinterpreted what i wrote. so i guess i have a little more grace to extend in that area - for now. i also haven't been exposed to all the negative opinions having to do with bpd - yet. i didn't even know it was so negative until i joined pc. i don't have a history of bad experiences with it, so it doesn't trigger me here as much. that and i'm working really hard at not letting other peoples' behavior and opinions control how i feel. my t keeps saying "don't give them your power, keep it for yourself". hope you can calm down soon. don't think that my being calm makes me think you have no reason to be upset. there will come a day that i'm upset and you are calm.

Thank you, you are always so kind and thoughtul and composed... I too go crazy...cuckcoo about politics.....I wont mention much, but I am a democrat and I love Tina Fay (spelling!!!)

yes, better we not mention politics......

totally agree

kalisha36.

Kalisha36,
Could you point me to the thread that you are refering to on here? I guess I am out of the loop. thanks KC

Looks like the thread has been deleted.

Yes the post has been deleted. It was too triggering and so has been removed! I appreciate others that were concerned about the subject that also offended me. I will not respond no more about the subject matter as appropriate measures have been taken thank you to all!,

Kalisha

I want to also thank Bpd Mess and Stacy May just for listening that means allot and for NOT judging me but allowing me to express myself that means more then anything

Any time Kalisha!!

Thanks, Bpd Mess
Hope your day is going good!!! Were actually preparing for our first snow that is supposed to start Sunday and into Monday and that hasn't happened around our area in years this EARLY LOL...Anyway allot of stress and processing lately man that makes things touchy you know....But I just appreciate you nice reminders and that you kindly and patiently listen. I know we are all different and what not, sometimes my passion is a little more HEATED
Take care,
Kalisha

SNOW!! how fun!! my boys have been praying for snow. i keep telling them that it really kind of needs to be below 70 degrees during the day before that can happen. oh, and passion is a good thing. i'm hoping to get that back someday. i think it got squashed as a kid - yet another therapy topic.

If anything I wrote offended you I am truely sorry. I don't post on boards much for that very reason and will try harder to not post here as well. Again I am sorry if it caused you pain.

I don't know what happened, but it sounds upsetting.
There was a posting that upset me, and I hope I wasn't out of line in my response(s) and didn't upset anyone.

I think it's so sweet that you all are here for one another!

No, by NO means no one that is on this thread said ANYTHING that was offensive to me....At all...In fact everyone that has posted so far on this thread has been positive up building and kind. And even helped me to re-adjust myself and relax a bit I would go more into it, but as I said the post was taken down and I don't want to cause anymore distress because of the words that were used, however there is allot of misinformed people that identify BPD people or categorized BPD people from misinformation. It's painful to feel your just a word, or definition of an emotion, it's painful to be treated like that....There's way more but again if I go into it.....Blah I think you may understand, BUT you were definitely NOT the cause I sincerely apologize if I even for a second gave you that feeling.....Please keep posting.....
Hugs Kalisha