You know you're borderline when...

I am quiet with my pdoc - need to not be though. He's in and out of the room in all of 5 minutes, even when he is changing meds (which is EVERY visit)

You get a report back from the Psychologist who led your 3-day family therapy session and upon recognizing that it is defamatory, slanderous, one-sided, inaccurate, misleading, ill-informed, biased and stereotyping against you probably because you mentioned that you 'have some borderline traits' - so upon recognizing all that, you realize "OMG, this Psychologist has BPD. She's splitting big-time. All black, no white. All bad, no good. She completely dismissed all the good character building, socialization, esteem building and talent building efforts I have made with them over many years. She probably went into the profession in order to learn to deal with her own issues."

I'm furious with her. I'm terrified of what child services will do with the recommendations. I'm terrified of what my leeching ex will do if he gets his hands on a copy. Hopefully I have pre-empted this from happening because I just sent a threatening (insinuating legal action) e-mail to all recipients, along with a detailed list of all of the misleading, inaccurate and incomplete comments she made in regards to my parenting. And my therapist is away for three weeks.

Never, ever, ever, ever mention you have ANY BPD traits to anybody who you don't know what side of the fence they sit on with regard to stigmatizing this unfortunate cluster of symptoms. Recognize and anticipate all of the dangerous ramifications a biased Psychologist can have on your and your childrens' well-being. Because they very well may recommend that you lose time with your kids and force them to spend additional time with a manipulative, leeching, abusive narcissist. Because he will never admit his failings. No, no - he doesn't hit them, he doesn't threaten to hit them, he doesn't play on his iphone all night and ignore them, he doesn't put them down when he's mad at them, he doesn't belittle them, he doesn't fail to set up playdates on his shift, he doesn't take the last piece of pizza for himself when he knows they're still hungry, he doesn't let them watch TV for hours on end. No, no he's perfectly perfect!

BPD STIGMA is ALIVE and well in the here and now. BE VERY, VERY CAREFUL!

When you could go either way at any point in time..

When you totally melt down (yelling, crying) in your T's office for the first time (that you can remember) and she just tries to reassure you everything is OK and tells you she's not letting you ruin your relationship with her and she's not leaving. Then you calmed down and you don't remember most of it. Its all a blur. When you tell her you think you dissociated she gets this look on her face and says I think your right and now that I think about it I think I saw you do it. Oh wonderful!

I have a REALLY good one! Your doctor (not pdoc) comes into your hospital room 2 days before Christmas and says: that the current issue as far as pain is NOT coming from the 14 mm stone in my bladder or the 2 still lodged in my left kidney. Essentially, dismisses the pain to "nerve pain" due to my spinal cord injury that happened 30 + years ago! He says I am fine to discharge and what goes through my head - I am just pure crazy because I have all these physical symptoms and the doctor just acting like an ahole! I don't know if I am crazy or not - I guess I have been certified by the state as crazy, so I guess I am.

Your pdoc emails you on a public holiday because she wants to see you because she knows just how much you're struggling..

U r definitely not the only one! I didn't know I was doing this for over 2 years with my T. Now I can see it. I hated that it seemed like she had all the power in our relationship.

Now I can laugh and talk about it with her and u guys. I love even my demons now that I know what they are.

YKYB when you tell your therapist you feel suicidal, and your therapist doesn't believe you.

omg!!!! I laugh but it is all so true. my ex works funny shifts, he was working nights this night, I txted him,no reply, txt again, no reply, a few hrs goes by, what started out as a hello, I love you txt, ends up with me putting him with a woman, says he's working but has sneekly taken the night off, I threaten him with alsorts, like scratching his car, I then go and see if his car is where it is usually parked, I drive like a thing possessed, not giving a secong thought to speed cameras etc, his car is there and he's 4gotten his charger.....................how could I get to this state?????

Can't count how many times this has happened to me. Then there are the times that I'm suicidal and t knows it and calls 911 on me

lol i'm loving reading these!!.. its nice to be able to laugh at problems with people you KNOW understand

..when I can love and hate someone with equal intensity about 94 times in a single day...when they only experience 6 of these times and while everyone else is fast asleep I am still wrestling with what I woke up with and now I am hating myself ...and it never occurred to me at all not even for half of half a second to maybe just like them and that it is all in my head but by now I have blown my mind by being inside everyone elses mind even though I don't know what to do in there apart from try and get them to blame themselves for all my crap...which they don't seem to and I read a sideways look as diabolical rejection and I am horrified at me but I keep trying and I suddenly and forever feel like there is way more going on inside me than my physical shape can hold and I will BURST' emotional and mental fragments of myself all over my life and collapse exhausted...then I will go and see if my toast is ready

When no one understands you and you feel like telling them to get a life.

Your pdoc then rings you to see if you're alive because you forgot to email her back and now you have an appt to see her at the nuthouse tomorrow even though she's leaving for the USA that night...

When you go to open presents with the kids and your the only one who didn't get a present from them b/c they just didn't have time to get to it. Gee thanks honey, for making sure the kids got my present done. Maybe next year I just wont remind them to do anything for you. Already know I wont be getting anything for my birthday or mother's day b/c that would require him to remind them to get me something. OK I get that they aren't my bio kids, but still. I make sure he gets stuff from them. Hell until this Christmas, I made sure that they got stuff for their bio mom! Nice to know where I fall on the list, NO WHERE!

you cut after 10+ weeks of staying safe and you don't even care because lets face it you know you are crazy.

you read your file from your old mental health clinic and decide that you want to go back because certain people there actually understood, and you try to work out ways of talking to them even though you have moved interstate and with a new treatment team and are not aloud to go back to where you used to live.. attachment issues much.

When you're pissed off with your male-dominated house and you stab yourself in the arm with a fork..

Rage turned inwards? Learned helplessness? What's the point of defending myself, nothing will change?

What would happen if you were to go up to your husband/BF and say "When you did _____, it made me feel _____". It is the most non-confrontational way to tell somebody they've really hurt you. Then try to have a calm discussion. If you get brushed off right away or if he stonewalls (refuses to even listen), then couples counselling is in order. DO NOT live in an emotionally abusive relationship for the rest of your life. There are alternatives.

When you cry over 2 out of the 5 days you requested for your vacation in July are denied.

I'm definitely NOT in an emotionally abusive relationship. I should have made that clearer, sorry.

I was furious because I have a husband and two sons and they love to play video games and I get sick of the stupid music

You see motives, understand dismissive behavior, lack of empaty in a friendship you wanted, greed in doctors, "it's all about us" attitude in families, but you can't confront to shake the truth out; you live in a world of, well, if it can't be me, because I'm above that, "it must be them."
You're not paranoid, but you are privileged to have suffered, you want to change, but are comfortable with things as they are, because at least they're "known." At least, my T "thinks I am BPD." I don't know; I'm at the edge of everything most of the time, far from helpless, just looking for one true human being who can be real.

My dog is real; she watches me and understands me. She has empathy.

My T loves his dogs more than anything!

when you take it personally that the cat you rescued 1.5 year ago prefers not to be held. i mean, not even my pet loves me!

Yah, but didn't you know cats are borderline. "I hate you, now feed me!"

when a person is kind to you or friendly you immediately think she likes you romantically