[BeatlesFan]

Hi everyone. First post here, and I have some questions for you.

My girlfriend of 12 years was recently hospitalized due to headaches, statements about harming herself, and some strange (for her) behavior. The ER doc sent her to a neuropsych unit in a small hospital a couple of hours from here, and she was diagnosed with major depression, generalized anxiety, PTSD, and BPD.

The details of the whole story would take hours to tell, so I'll just try to hit the important highlights.

We have a 10 year old daughter. She has 3 others that were, in reality, stolen from her by her ex, who then turned them over to the state. I have 3 others, one who died when I was 19, one in his late 20's, and one teenage daughter. Only the 10 year old lives with us. My girlfriend is, in my opinion, a fantastic mom. She has never put her own needs over those of our child, no matter what.

Well, until recently. Before she was diagnosed, she walked out the door. Not very surprising, she has done this before, but we always reconciled. This time, however, she had a family member "helping" by encouraging to leave, treating our child like crap, and telling my g/f what to do. He also encouraged her to hook up with a man she barely knows who claims he loves her. Since I know about her history of failed relationships (ours is the only one that has lasted more than 2 years), I tried to talk to her about how this was a very poor choice - and her family mamber was NOT doing her any favors. Our daughter had told me of the things that were said, things that were done, and she wished to talk with both my g/f and I. I agreed, and we all met to have a talk.

During the talk, our kid got extremely upset, telling nothing but the truth to both of us. For the first time I know of, her mother had a blank expression, and made statements about how she didn't care what the child thought, or what it would do to her. All she was wanting was her happiness. Our daughter said something about "is your happiness worth more than mine and dad's?" and her mom walked away.

The scene repeated the next day, except this time, I was able to talk her mom into going to the ER.

Now, my g/f has a so-called friendsthat is "supporting" her by trying to help her sabotage herself. By this I mean he is making comments trying to get her to walk out the door, forget about follow-up treatment, and run off with this guy, even going so far as to offer to let them meet at his home.

Our daughter found out and flipped.

Now, here's the other part: Her doc at the hospital put her on 20mg of Paxil for the PTSD and depression, Lisinopril for high blood pressure, and Trazodone as needed to help her sleep. She said that she does marginally feel better at times than before the hospitalization, but not much.

She spoke with a counselor on Friday - one I am NOT very happy with. My g/f has a history of only taking meds, no matter what they are, until she begins to feel better. She also has a history of doing this with follow-up care - only goes when she thinks it will not inconvenience her. I also found out that she said she was only going to go until she could manipulate the counselor or doctor into telling her that leaving me and running off was what she needed. I know she isn't taking this very seriously, and that scares me. This is why I asked to speak with the counselor for a couple of minutes before the session so I could pass along the information about how she was not going to be 100% into it, that she was only going through the motions, and was extremely persuasive - she could make a politician look like an amateur. However, I was dismissed by the counselor, treated like what I was wanting to say was not important to my g/f's treatment.

Today - another scare. Our daughter is at a friend's house for the weekend, so I thought it would be nice for me to break out our Guitar Hero games. We both love music, and my g/f loves to play all of the Rock Band and Guitar hero games. After a couple of hours, my hands were worn out, so I asked if we could stop...after all, I needed to walk the dogs, too. We decided one last song would be good - and a few seconds before the song was over, she looked around the room. I handed her my controller after the game was over, and she was still looking around. She then asked, "Did you hear that"? I hadn't heard anything, but I do have some hearing issues, so I asked what she heard.

She said "VOICES". We had the front door open since it was fairly warm, I thought maybe someone was passing by or she heard the birds or something. This is when I noticed she was holding the sides of her head lightly. I asked her again what she heard, this time I was told "I'm not sure, people." I began trying to find out more, she said she couldn't understand what they were saying. I closed the door, turned off ANYTHING that might sound like a voice, and asked her if she still heard the sounds. She said she did, and it had begun to worry her, because she knew at that moment it wasn't real. I asked one last time what it was, she told me it was a baby crying, then decided it was the sound of a toddler crying. A sad cry, not a child in pain, or hungry, or tired, but a lonely cry...something that told her the baby needed held.

I debated wheter to take her to the ER again, and decided against it right now. She has not indicated a desire to harm herself or anyone else, and as full as the psych units are around here, I doubt they would have a room for her.

She has NEVER had anything like this happen that she can remember. It has me very worried, considering the way she acted towards our daughter, and now the auditory hallucinations. I work at a small hospital that does not have an adult psych unit (we only have a geri psych unit) but we do have several psychologists and psychiatrists on staff that do see patients by appointment. I am going to speak to them on Monday to make an appointment for her (she is uninsured, unemployed, and I know I will be able to make payment arrangements) and see if they would be willing to see her. Before I do, I am wondering - are these symptoms something related to the PTSD (caused by the ex's stunt with the kids), the depression (diagnosed at 13), anxiety, the BPD, or is it something else? I am extremely concerned, and the only 'family' in the area that is concerned enough to help.

[Irine]

well - i heard that hearing voices could be Dissociative disorder or Schizophrenic too. but i would not tell of course what it is. I assume the doctors know better.

I know self harm is a sign of borderline - but it could also be many other things.
I am sorry to hear about this situation - sending prayers and positive energies.