[Don't touch me]

Here I go...

I'm very paranoid and always think people are gonna hurt me. I've been suicidal for almost a year, but have hated myself since I was six years old. I was always quiet. I have irrational fears alot. (Delusions almost) and when I meet someone, even if it's the first time, I obsess over them. I want them to spend more time than possible with me. Then they say one thing that sounds A LITTLE BIT negative about me, and I hate them to the core.
I say things to make people hate me, because I think I desevre it.
I broke up with my boyfriend because I thought he might be mad at me, but he wasn't. We've been over for two months and I can't stop checking up on him and still acting like we;re together.

EDIT: Also, I don't really know who I am. I have rapid mood swings. I feel like I'm broken to pieces and whichever floats to the top I have to be. I have even been confused about my sexuality and gender.

[butterfly_wings]

Hey, it's very difficult to say whether these experiences sound like BPD, as they are also symptoms of many other difficulties (lots of diagnoses overlap). It's clear that you're feeling very unsure and unhappy, and have low self-esteem.

My advice would be to go and see a professional to build up a trusting and open relationship with them (this may take time and work) and get them to help you make things happier and easier in your life, and possibly diagnose you with BPD.

[Don't touch me]

Thanks a lot

[ECHOES]

We can't diagnose, but it sure sounds like you would have much to gain by talking with a psychotherapist about your those things that you notice and about your internal emotional life.

No matter what the diagnosis, feeling better is the goal

[palemoss]

Originally Posted by Don't touch me

Here I go...

I'm very paranoid and always think people are gonna hurt me. I've been suicidal for almost a year, but have hated myself since I was six years old. I was always quiet. I have irrational fears alot. (Delusions almost) and when I meet someone, even if it's the first time, I obsess over them. I want them to spend more time than possible with me. Then they say one thing that sounds A LITTLE BIT negative about me, and I hate them to the core.
I say things to make people hate me, because I think I desevre it.
I broke up with my boyfriend because I thought he might be mad at me, but he wasn't. We've been over for two months and I can't stop checking up on him and still acting like we;re together.

EDIT: Also, I don't really know who I am. I have rapid mood swings. I feel like I'm broken to pieces and whichever floats to the top I have to be. I have even been confused about my sexuality and gender.

yes, sounds like it.... get help dear