When therapists and p-docs don't like you

Someone on another website I regularly go to, not psych-related, says she was once a therapist and is now a teacher. She also states that as a therapist, "I always hated having borderlines come in because they're so manipulative...." She said more, but all I could think was, thank God she's not a therapist anymore. It even frightens me that she's a teacher. I wonder how many minds she has messed up even further than they already were.

But her words reminded me, I had a past p-doc make the same accusation. I was only saying what I honestly felt, but she responded in a disgusted tone of voice, "Oh, that's so gamey." I was inpatient and she was the one assigned to me, but she released me before I was ready. I knew I wasn't ready, and I told her so, but she accused me of playing games and didn't listen to me. I ended up going right from there to another facility where I was inpatient another week. When I was released the second time, I knew I was ready, and I was OK with it. I realize now that the p-doc at the first facility probably thought since I happened to be homeless then, I was trying to use the hospital as a shelter. The truth is, when the second facility released me a week later, my apartment still wasn't ready, and I still went back to the mission, but I was fine with doing that because I was now out of crisis. I was not playing games, and I was not trying to use hospitalization to keep me off the street. But because I was (I now know) borderline, I was accused of this?

I have a good therapist and p-doc now, and neither of them have ever accused me of playing games or being manipulative. But now I'm wondering if they're secretly thinking that. Maybe they're like that ex-therapist on the other site, and they're sitting there thinking, I hate this client because she's borderline. I now have a fear of going back to them, and a fear of trusting.

There is even a problem with my own husband. If I'm upset about something, he automatically assumes it's a symptom of illness. It couldn't possibly be that I have a genuine reason to be upset.

Am I never going to be taken seriously again? Yes, I know, that's a borderline thing to say, but....

With some people it is easier to blame someone than to admit to themselves their discomfort. It is them, not you.

Hi there, I'm quite new here, recently officially diagnosed with boarderline. This has been undetetcted for some thirty years, Dr.s and p.Dr's saying I was anorexic/eating disordered and that was the only problem, basically no one wanted to know, regardless of being admitted for inpatient treatment many times some twenty years ago (overdoses/self harm). Had there been a diagnosis nearer the begining it would have saved my parents and family, not to mention me, years of heartache. Yes, I totally understand 'LovebirdsFlying' in saying that some so called 'professionals' in the medical world don't click with some of us and just do not want to help. If they don't know what to say or do then they blame us with the ''problem'' regardless. This is very hurtful and leaves us with no one to turn to. I speak from the UK so I guess this is a worldwide issue. This site is excellent and it's the only place that I have found the essential info that I desperatly needed. Thankyou and hugs to you all reading this. XXX

OMG Yes! I KNOW HOW THIS IS! I'm a psychology student, and I have had multiple professors, some even therapist, who just BASH BPD in class.
One just explained how the female BPD patient is just you're typical ******
Another who's a thearapist as well, says he REFUSES to take BPD patients because he wants to strangle them basically. He doesn't like the "games" we play. OTherwise, I completely respected him as an amazing professor and therapist, but this just pissed me off.

How are we supposed to get help, or even want to ask for help, knowing that this is what we face, even in the professional psych. world?

My psych nurse who I went to for 3 years didn't like to treat Borderline....so she didn't. She treated my Bipolar and any time I had any impulsive symptoms (which can be explained by Borderline as well as Bipolar) she would tell me I'm manic and increase the meds to make me a zombie.

I fired her last week.

Im not borderline so cant really relate to your post in that way but its funny that I just wrote a post concerning how my P.A. treated me yesterday, so im guessing sadly its pretty common ....heres the link http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=177851

There are good and bad professionals in all fields. I know a lot of doctors and therapists treat the illness rather than the person, not able to interact with the person well enough to "see" them. That can be really frustrating when it happens.

I have had a difficult time finding a T who wants to help me deal with my bpd. They are willing to work on my other diagnoses but not bdp. That just came to me as I read this thread.

I was misdiagnosed BPD years ago..when talking to my current T about the stigma around this diagnosis he said, yes, some therapists hate treating them, but some love it because it can be one of the most rewarding therapeutic relationships...I guess all T's and docs have certain illnesses they are uncomfortable or unqualified to deal with, but there does seem to be a lot more negative stigma surrounding BPD...I've heard it referred to as the "new hysteria"

I can relate to this. When I was in college, one of my psychology professors mentioned "The worst patients to deal with are borderlines...they are so unpredictable, one minute they are your friends, the next they are hitting you or cutting themselves." I have seen this stigma off and on for the past 17 years of my career in the mental health field...although I think it is changing somewhat. I know it has for me. I am a therapist *and* a patient with both BPD and bipolar disorder....and was just recently fired by my psychiatrist because I had a suicide attempt without calling him first. Apparently, I was "too high risk". But this worked out, because now I am seeing a BPD specialist...

I just read Marsha Linehan's book on CBT, and I really loved what she had to say about redefining the symptoms. She doesn't like words such as "manipulative" because they are too judgmental. I could have hugged her.

Most professionals loathed and feared me (I was not exactly manipulative, but I could be violent)......but it only took a couple of really good ones, ones who cared, to make a difference......

Hang in there. It only takes one and you will find them if you keep looking. I guarantee it.

Michah

oh boy how I can relate to this!!

I had a p.doc who didnt see me as an individual but a borderline and would make sweepig statements like " all borderlines dont like their p.doc."

I was told in a nasty tone as an inpatient by a nurse that i was "sneeky and manipulative" - she actually bullied me the whole time.

As a borderline your rarely taken seriously - often we are viewed as manipulative attention seekers who bring everything upon ourselves. We are feared for our dependance and abused for our problems.

I have never heard or seen this abuse from professionals with regrd to any other mental illness to the same extent as they are with BPD patients!

I really think the stigma comes from lack of understanding about what BPD is. I just read an article- can't remember the link or I'd post it- but it said that people hear BPD and they are either clueless, or think "Fatal Attraction". I've been reading some of linehans work and am hoping through her and others it can really be turned around. But until then, I think there really are a lot of docs out there that want to help. And docs are human too and they get frustrated too and if they can't separate themselves from their patients enough (no matter what the diagnosis!) then they don't need to be treating them.