Body image and black/white thinking

Does anyone else struggle to find a balance with their eating and exercise due to the BPD black and white way of thinking? I'm either very overweight and eating heaps of junk and doing zero exercise, or I am super slim, eating hardly anything, and exercising obsessively. I find it absolutely impossible to gain any balance and sit somewhere in the middle.

At the moment I am slim (I was 216lbs and dropped to 119kgs in 6 months), but I can feel the pendulum swinging back towards junk food overloading and avoiding exercise. I used to exercise for 40 minutes everyday and ate super low fat stuff (and hardly any of it), but the past couple of weeks have been very hard due to some BPD issues and as a result I have only exercised twice and have been eating tons and tons of high fat food. As a result I have gained 8lbs and am gripped with terror of getting fat again. I am all or nothing. I am either on the verge of starving or on the verge of spewing from eating too much food. I simply cannot find balance. I despise grey areas because to me, grey areas do not exist - you either ARE, or you AREN'T. Grey areas equal no solid answer, no right or wrong, no definition, and I hate hate hate blurred lines or maybes. And so my attitude towards my weight is the same. I am either little miss superfit or little miss blobby bum.

Does anyone else struggle with this aspect of BDP in relation to their weight and/or body image?

What's your BMI??

Hello there, I can definitely relate to what you're going through. I've always been a slim person, but recently I gained about 9 pounds in 2 months due to eating tons of junk food and literally no exercise. I've been trying to change my unhealthy eating habits, but it's very difficult.

On days that I don't exercise, or eat badly, I get these negative self thoughts such as "I'm such a fat pig" or "I'm so lazy! Why didn't I exercise?" What I've been trying to do is be easier on myself when I have a bad day, and realize that I can always do better tomorrow. It's not the end of the world if you slip up, because you can always pick yourself up again.

What concerns me is you saying that you're either eating very little, or too much. I've read in countless fitness magazines that it's actually bad for you if you eat too little, because it can tempt you to binge later. You should be getting enough food to make you feel full during the day. Many dieters try to skip breakfast and even lunch, thinking they're going to lose weight as a result, but many of them binge later in the evening because they're so hungry.

It's very hard to stop the black and white thinking, but it's worth trying. Something that might help is if you write down every day what you did that was healthy, even if it was something small (maybe you ate a healthy breakfast, or you exercised for 20 minutes). I always feel better when I realize that I've accomplished something.

My BMI is 20 which is in the healthy weight range. When I was overweight, I can't recall exactly what it was but it was in the obese range.

I should mention I have suffered from bulimia in the past and have never had full blown anorexia but because I often don't eat much and I exercise a lot, you could have it's a form of less intense anorexia. I'm just a mixed bag of different flavoured issues!

I am VERY overweight and I understand the thinking too.

Glad you're in the healthy range.

When my intensity gets high...I eat more junk and I have the all or nothing thing going. So if I eat junk one day...I might as well eat junk the next.

I've been tracking what I eat and how I'm feeling for the last 4 weeks...I use these phrases a lot...I'm too tired to make something...I don't want to go shopping...I'll just get something real quick from fast food...I really deserve this...

So my goal is to begin trying to plan 2 - 3 days in advance 2 choices for each meal (maybe a quicker one in case I'm not feeling up to making something).

I have always justified my eating as my ok thing to use for coping...as I'm not using drugs, nicoteine, caffeine, alcohol...the things I consider really unhealthy...but I've realized the food choice is still unhealthy...

Yes I totally get it. I'm either on a diet, excersing excessively, eating only "good" foods or eating whatever I like and being lazy. If I eat one crumb of a biscuit when I am being "GOOD" the whole thing goes out the window and I turn to "bad" eating. I can't see the point in doing anything moderately- what's the point? Either do it obsessively or don't do it at all

I've been as high as 230 in the past few years, and as low as 170. Right now, I'm feeling all right, but can't get myself to exercise the way I used to. I used to run and bike all the time. Now, it just doesn't seem possible. Balance is a big issue with me. I don't know if I'm borderline or bipolar. I think I've heard it said that a lot of professionals see a lot of similarities between the two.

The main difference between bipolar and borderline is that bipolar is a mood disorder and borderline is a personality disorder. That should make it a bit easier to assertain which you have. It's also possible to have both with one being the dominant issue, ie, borderline with bipolar tendancies or bipolar with borderline tendancies. For example, I have borderline personality disorder with OCD and bulimic tendancies. Sometimes you can feel like a real mixed bag of different disorders eh!

I do understand the extremes. I have always had great difficulty with the body image and with food. In fact, I have effectively given up and accepted defeat in this area of my life. It is no longer a struggle for me, now that I have admitted defeat. Of course, my surrender is a self-destructive decision, Even so, it is where I am now.