[MDDBPDPTSD]

OK. So I saw a new one today. We interviewed each other. I didn't trust her. In our first meeting, she seemed to "side" with a previous therapist in regards to a dispute we'd had. I confronted her with the observation and things went downhill from there.

It ended up that she rejected me as a client.

I was probably going to reject her anyway, but she did it first.
The first thing we talked about in the session was my fear of rejection and how I wanted things to work out.

Then she rejects me. Wow!

I think the decision that we not try to work together is a sound one. But the way it was handled was less than I had hoped.

I really wish I could stay with my current therapist, but an insurance change makes that impossible. So, now I am shopping again.

I hate it. I have so many limitations that it is going to be difficult to find someone. Most therapists do not take my new insurance. In addition, I have some transportation challenges, financial challenges and I have BPD, which many folks just do not want to deal with.

I am so overreacting to this therapist's rejection. I know that my feelings are out of proportion to the importance of the event. I knew when I started shoppig for a therapist that it was not going to be an easy task.

I knew there would probably be some that I would reject and others that would reject me. This was just one of them. I don't owe her anything. She doesn't owe me anything. So what if she rejected me? I'll just moveon to the next one. No big deal, right?

Right. So why do I just keep crying and crying because she rejected me?

It hurts so bad. I have these stupid thoughts in my head that no one will want to help me and that I am a lost casue anyway. I now they are not based in reality. Still, they won't go away.

I hate this. I hate me. Why did she have to reject me? Whyam I such a loser?

[unaluna]

I know how you feel, I was in the same situation trying to find just a pdoc a few years ago. And I was calling people my T had suggested. It really makes you feel bad when people in the helping profession don't want to help you, you're like, wth? I finally called the university near me and go there outpatient, even though I have to take two buses to get there, and my previous pdoc is literally 20 steps away.

Just going through this experience of finding help for yourself will be therapeutic. When I found my current T, I had spoken to and or read about a few other people, he wasn't even my first choice, but in retrospect he is. Like the British slogan in WWII, keep calm and carry on. I just learned that recently, saw it on a rug, and thought, what a great slogan for mood disorders! I need that in my foyer.

I totally get this. Alot of therapists flat out won't treat a patient who has Borderline. I went through numerous T's for a long time, until I hooked up with county mental health and they cannot not treat you for BPD. In fact some county mental health systems teach DBT (Dialectal Behavior Therapy) and is designed around those who have BPD. It was here that I felt acceptance.

[Flooded]

Originally Posted by June_Bug

I totally get this. Alot of therapists flat out won't treat a patient who has Borderline. I went through numerous T's for a long time, until I hooked up with county mental health and they cannot not treat you for BPD. In fact some county mental health systems teach DBT (Dialectal Behavior Therapy) and is designed around those who have BPD. It was here that I felt acceptance.

I had a few refuse to treat me and I left thinking "WTF, isn't this your domain"??

[MDDBPDPTSD]

It may take a little time for me to be ready to try another one, but i will keep searching. I just don't deal well with rejection. Than you all for your help and insight.

[protector1973]

count your blessings , it didnt go any further than an inital meeting, she wasnt right for you, remember for next time, that you are trying to find someone to help you. drop this word rejection from the process . its unhelpfull.