resentment vs. forgiveness

Hi,
I was just wondering are you guys more resentful or forgiving?

I know that my resentment lasts about 1 second, and then i am back to understanding/forgiving. afterall, a whole lot of ppl resent me/hate me/refuse to talk to me. so i definitely try to never be like that -

i know borderlines have an incredible capacity to be compassionate especially to other people's emotions.

what are your thoughts?

i believe you about forgiving, your threads seem to back this up,
me im like my dad i never forget a wrong.

I have trouble with both. I can't find middle ground. I'm either defending or accusing. Ugh, such is my life.

Massively forgiving in this corner! Probably detrimentally so

I am definitely more forgiving than anything else... unless it comes to my dad, then I'm resentful even if I try to forgive.

resentful...learning to be forgiving.

Unfortunately, I am very resentful.

I wish that I could forgive. I am definitely struggling with that notion though.

I guess we're all jumping from one end of the bell curve to the other and avoiding the middle.

In the past I have been a very forgiving person, but ever since around the beginning of 8th grade, I've really learned how to put my foot down though I've also turned into a more bitter person. I consider myself more understanding than forgiving - but I can also be very vindictive and hold huge grudges if that person really hurts me and/or gives me a good reason not to trust or be associated with them again.

It really depends on the situation. I can be forgiving for many things, but the older I get and the more I see, the more resentful I feel. There are too many people I see that are controlled by temptations and cruelty and it is hard to be forgiving for certain behaviors. It is almost like giving them permission to continue to act the way that they do and in a way it is almost like telling yourself that you are okay with it. Everyone is different and entitled to what they choose to do with their life, but it disgusts me how selfish and sick people have become and how few people lack morals. There is much room for debate with my opinion. I've just been seeing too much negative in the world lately. I know there is good out there, but lately it is hard to find!

I agree with you now that I've thought a little bit more about it...It does depend on the person and situation with me, but I also think that is part of the disease...because the people we hold up high can almost never do wrong, and the people we expect to be jerks...prove us right...again. That also makes me more resentful...due to the fact I expected the worst, and they delivered again. It also hurts when someone you hold up high violates your trust in a big way...that makes me see them as a bad person, and then I add up all the reasons why I didn't see it before.

There's been a lot of times (actually like 99 percent) in the past where i've forgiven someone when I wanted to resent them, only because I didnt want them to "go away, disappear, abandon me). So actually I guess I didn't want to resent them forever, but I really should've stayed away.

Don't want to go off on a tangent so I think that we should forgive people, but not let them back in necessarily. Like, forgive but don't forget. Resentment can be a pretty bad feeling

Borderlines, many of them are very empathic.

And I relate to feeling resentful one moment and forgiving the next.

I guess how I deal with it is just ride with it. I realize I can't change my feelings but I can change how I think and how I think of them. But yes I do relate.

ty for sharing this.

Billi

The closer I feel emotionally to a person the quicker I can forgive them. If I am not close to them emotionally then it takes me a long time to forgive.