How to find one direction in life as a BPD?...

I can't settle on a career or what I want to do. I don't know why, but that's the way it is. Now i read that is a major symptom of BPD. although i am confused as to whether i am BPD or BiP, fact is, i have never been able to settle on a career or any goal, and now that i'm almost 40, i just want to pick something NOW.

How do i go about putting this symptom aside so that i can have a vocation like everyone else?

Every week i think, maybe i'll go to law school, no, MBA, no, chemist, no, data analyst.

HELP!!! What are the steps to try choose one or at least let go of or deal with whatever is causing this issue?

I dunno. I'm 36 and have the same problem. My mind changes with the clock....

Thanks for posting, i d0n't feel so alone n0w...

same here
i studied sooo many different things.

im just gonna stick with going to law school. i dont care if i hate it i need to pick something and start making money

.

What are we going to do? . Let's google and try to give each other some advice on it

it sounds stupid, but the book what color is your parachute? has helped me to identify patterns in my interests and identify my strengths. i know it's more of a job search tool than anything else but it made me feel good somehow to see that i was better at more things that i thought. part of my problem with finding direction is that as soon as i decide i want to do something i convince myself that i'm an idiot loser who sucks at life and could never be good at whatever i'm considering.

I don't think that anyone with BPD is "trapped" in trying to figure out what they want to do with their life. I know that I personally decided when I was nineteen what I wanted and I went in search of it. I'm not saying that BEFORE this I didn't angst and struggle with what I wanted to do. I just wanted to weigh in with the concept that not all people with BPD struggle with life/career directions.

It does happen and I am certainly sympathetic and supportive of people with BPD who struggle with this issue. I just wanted to say that many of us know from an early age what we want to do and what we want to study and get certified in! I know personally that my parents were set on me being a nurse once I mentioned that as a possiblilty (it was a silly grasp on my part because a classmate mentioned that she was going to nursing school and I knew that my parent's expected higher training from me). I went for a month and KNEW immediately that nursing was not my "gig", but my parent were set on me being a nurse because they viewed it as an end goal . No amount of convincing of this fact had any affect on my parents. At the time, I told my parents that I wanted to continue on in school but that I wanted a four year degree in psychology and English. I knew so clearly that this is what I wanted. My parents denied this and told me that I "needed to finish what I started". I know now that it was because they loved me and wanted me to have a career. They wanted me to live beyond when they died! How sweet and parental is that???? They had no knowledge to base their decision on in regard to how I was going to survive as a four year college student. Hey, they had to base it on how I did as a high school student. . . and to be honest, I was pretty poor. It wasn't until my adolescent brain matured and moved on that it saw the need to do better! I did what they wanted and I got the degree and then I used that to go on and get the bachelors and master's degree in the fields that I wanted. But it always bothered me that I wasn't able to make my own decision OR I wasn't strong enough to assert mysef in regard to my own career. I think that happens to many individuals with BPD . ... as many as those who have no idea what they want to do. It's a terrible dilemia!

I suspect that it probably happens more to those whose BPD was a result from abusive parents who could offers us no direction, or help us follow something through. A lot of us whose parents allowed nothing to be about us, unless it was where to put their rage or abuse, are going to be harder pressed to find direction. It really ****ing sucks. I was just trying to survive every day, and never had an idea of a thought about myself except for make it through the next hour in peace. Was only encouraged to serve my parent, and never to think about myself or what i wanted or what i could do. Never saw an adult put a plan into action, or finish anything. At this point i'm wondering if i should just flip a coin, choose something and do it whether i want to or not. I know it sounds self-pitying, but i know there is also a great deal of truth to it.

haha, that "not being an idiot loser who sucks" is the damn thing that gets me every time. lol.

so i took 6 months off work (after getting laid off) to figure out what i really wanted to do. I settled on some sort of research, but still can't figure out if i would actually like it. So i got offered a job doing data work at a place that does macro research, i was all GREAT! I'll find out! then i got offered another job the same day, and due to not being able to trust myself, i asked my friends, they said i should take the other job b/c it had a better title. So i took the job I didn't want. Which is how i ended up here, after realizing what a stupid mistake i made (at 38 mind you, it's not like 'oh chin' up, opportunities come really applies) i felt so much frustration on YET AGAIN losing out b/c of my dysfunction (i also found myself under so much pressure just b/c i could not tell both jobs i needed a day to decide, and that comes from not being allowed to speak or ask for anything, my entire developmental life) that i wanted to take a gun and blow my head off. So now i'm STILL trying, after 10 years of working on my issues, to still have something i want. And failing. once again. So i'm giving it YET another shot and trying to improve myself. If i can't do it, i will definitely give up.

oh my gosh yes, exactly! i was never able to assert myself with my parents either, so i got the business degree because my dad thought it was a good idea. of course it didn't work out. and now, the problem is a total lack of confidence - i tell myself before i even try that i'll fail.