Rejection sensitivity, how do you react to it?

I was wondering how do you react to rejection???
For me I try to avoid it as much as possible cause when I am rejected I have a very strong urge to take my life. I get really upset and blame me.

I expect it wherever I go, whomever I'm with.

I react by going into my shell even further, raging then finally SI because I know I'm not worth having friends.

I avoid it at all costs and expect it wherever. So I tend to isolate. I take a lot of things personally and then really feel like shiit. I react by isolating more and thinking how worthless I am. I've been able to keep the SI urges & actions at bay for almost a year. I think probably b/c I'm really keeping to myself.

I am finally very aware of this residual element to my BPD, and I AM really trying to work on it. I get very anxious, and I do avoid certain situations where I fear I might be rejected. I am working on my self-esteem and on my perceptions. I get very upset and somewhat depressed when someone obviously rejects me, but I am trying to learn to deal with it--with thoughts such as, "Well, that's THEIR problem! Not everybody is going to like me."

I am learning not to see everything as a possible rejection.....For example, if I don't hear from a friend for a day or two, then I figure she's busy. That's a big improvement from my old habit of panicking and trying to frantically get back in touch with her immediately!

BTW, as I've mentioned here before, after years of therapy and
two rounds of dialectical behavior therapy, I no longer am classified as having BPD! There is hope!!!

My T doesn't want me on this thread, so--bye and good luck! It CAN be dealt with!

I isolate myself and withdraw, but I wonder if this is similar to dealing with other fears where you should keep putting yourself in situations where you would fear being rejected, starting very small and trying something a little more difficult each time, so you get used to it and the feeling goes down. Like with that show Obsessed. Though if you feel like taking your life, I don't know...

[quote=PAYNE1;2063882
BTW, as I've mentioned here before, after years of therapy and
two rounds of dialectical behavior therapy, I no longer am classified as having BPD! There is hope!!!

My T doesn't want me on this thread, so--bye and good luck! It CAN be dealt with![/quote]

I think it's fabulous that you can no longer be classified/diagnosed as BPD. My therapist and pdoc say the same for me. Congrats on all the hard work you've obviously done to reach this point. I know that I worked very hard to reach this point ; it was wonderful to realize that I wasn't going to be recognized as BPD forever. What a gift! . . .. just like someone who is told that she is an addict forever and then learns that something else is possible. It doesn't meant that I have to react or act like someone with BPD forever, but I need to remember where I come from . . . I need to be aware that my amygdela is SCREWED up and I can get emotionally overwhelmed pretty easily. Once BPD, a bit of BPD forever . . . at least someone who needs to consider what she's thinking or doing in stressful situations. That doesn't make me a bad person, it just makes me a person who always needs to be awake, aware and in touch with how I'm feeling.

What makes me sad is that someone who understands BPD. . . someone who treats people who have BPD actually SEES someone with BPD or who was treated with BPD as putting herself in a bad place by being "on this thread"; as if being on this thread is a threat to your treatment/recovery. Unfortunately, I see this belief/clinical approach often in mental health: for example, if you no longer "FIT" the criteria of the disorder, then you need to find new friends/people to hang out with! Whatever happened to paying it forward?
Jay
PS, I'm not saying this is your fault, Payne. I truly commend you for your recovery and the hard work that comes with it! But I believe with all my heart that those of us who have walked the walk need to return and walk along side our sisters and brothers who struggle with this horrible disorder. . . a disorder that is dismissed and rejected by many mental health workers. . .. we don't have to do this if we aren't strong enough to do so, but when we reach a point of being more healed than broken, we owe it to others to return and help. Just my take on things.

((((((((((( clouds and sun )))))))))))

I have brought my rejection anxiety to the point that I completely stop myself from forming bonds, at an unconcious level. I really do not feel attachment to most people I can say I like. When I do feel some sort of bond is growing, and I KNOW, I know myself, I know that I'm black or white, I know I'm going to become completely dependent on the person, I just cut it off. I break off all contact with the person in a violent manner.
It's not the most functional thing to do, I realize. But it works for me, right now, it helps avoid breakdowns I know I can't handle.

Last time I allowed myself to be rejected I lost a year of school, drank every day, kept vodka under my cushion and self harmed intensely. I've been through nearly three years of therapy and still I am not over it.
Not gonna happen again!