Right now the DSM- IV TR doesn't really have a good description for the borderline. Even the name "Borderline" isn't really name is it? I mean if someone says "Borderline Personality" it sounds as if that person only "sort of" has a personality. They are on "the border" of having a personality but they don't really have one do they?

There are talks of changing the name which is fine but what about deciding what this means?

For me, I'm unable to feel happy when I'm alone. It's only in the presence of another that I feel normal. Sitting with my own thoughts is severe punishment.

My husband does offer me unconditional love. But when he's not around I can't feel it. And sometimes when he's here I can't feel it. I see it in his eyes, he loves me and I hope I am radiating that love back. I try. But I fear my love is shallow compared to his. His kindness amazes me sometimes. I want to return this love.

But for me unconditional love isn't enough to make me feel satisfied. What does one do to fill themselves up and be happy?

[madisgram]

welcome to pc, kathy.

Originally Posted by madisgram

welcome to pc, kathy.

Thank you.

[Cnytroxy1973]

The article that I read about Borderline went on to explain that "Borderline" means that people with the Dx vary between being psychotic and neurotic.

Yes, I hate being alone. But don't enjoy being out in public or around people in general. When it's just me and my roommate I'm good.

Originally Posted by Cnytroxy1973

The article that I read about Borderline went on to explain that "Borderline" means that people with the Dx vary between being psychotic and neurotic.

Yes, I hate being alone. But don't enjoy being out in public or around people in general. When it's just me and my roommate I'm good.

That makes sense because you probably feel safe with your roommate.

Welcome to the forum, KathyLittle. I agree with you that the label Borderline Personality Disorder really doesn't describe the problem very well. I think that it has a lot to do with the actual "disorder" can look so different in so many people. I'm someone who has BPD who prefers to be alone. . . I need a LOT of alone time and if I'm in an intimate relationship, I tire of the relationship quickly because I feel as though I'm being suffocated. I don't push the person away with anger, I just sort of drift away

BUT the thing that I see in most people who have been diagnosed with BPD is the emotional dysregulation. Most of us feel as though we're riding an emotional roller coaster most of our lives--everything is fine one minute and a few minutes or hours later we might be in the depths of despair. I also think the self-loathing/feeling of worthlessness is also a pretty common trait in many people with BPD.

I know a lot of people also talk about a feeling of emptiness or loneliness. I have to admit that I've never felt that . . . or at least didn't feel it any more than my "normal" friends. But I have also learned that I compensate for this feeling by being over invested in work . . . in other words, I'm a workaholic and therefore avoid or deny the feelings of emptiness by frantically filling my days and evening with work. In any case, I too find myself frustrated with the whole label of BPD. . . although even if they change the name people will probably still say, "Yeah, she's diagnosed with Emotional Regulation Disorder . . . you know, BPD."

Originally Posted by Jaybird57

Welcome to the forum, KathyLittle. I agree with you that the label Borderline Personality Disorder really doesn't describe the problem very well. I think that it has a lot to do with the actual "disorder" can look so different in so many people. I'm someone who has BPD who prefers to be alone. . . I need a LOT of alone time and if I'm in an intimate relationship, I tire of the relationship quickly because I feel as though I'm being suffocated. I don't push the person away with anger, I just sort of drift away

BUT the thing that I see in most people who have been diagnosed with BPD is the emotional dysregulation. Most of us feel as though we're riding an emotional roller coaster most of our lives--everything is fine one minute and a few minutes or hours later we might be in the depths of despair. I also think the self-loathing/feeling of worthlessness is also a pretty common trait in many people with BPD.

I know a lot of people also talk about a feeling of emptiness or loneliness. I have to admit that I've never felt that . . . or at least didn't feel it any more than my "normal" friends. But I have also learned that I compensate for this feeling by being over invested in work . . . in other words, I'm a workaholic and therefore avoid or deny the feelings of emptiness by frantically filling my days and evening with work. In any case, I too find myself frustrated with the whole label of BPD. . . although even if they change the name people will probably still say, "Yeah, she's diagnosed with Emotional Regulation Disorder . . . you know, BPD."

Thank you so much for the warm welcome.

I do think my emotional roller coster has a Supercharger installed and I didn't have to pay extra for it either. I'm surprised if you have BPD, you like to be alone. But, if your at work it sounds as if there are always people around.

I know what you mean about the feeling of suffocation. A lot of times I push my husband away for being too "clingy" and then when he backs off I feel rejected. It's an extremely pathological way to be and very uncomfortable. Since this part of BPD interests me I looked further into it the situation. It seems that most with this disorder like company but cannot tolerate true intimacy. This is true with me. I find it very difficult to give and accept "real love." Love isn't about longing or wanting it's about showing acts of kindness and accepting acts of kindness, IMO.

[emptybee15]

Exactly! What do you do when you are constantly lonely, but you hate people? I struggle with that constantly. I only like being around those who know me well. My mom, my son, and my boyfriend. Other than that, I don't want to be around anyone. I can't take ALL of their time though. It's a lose/lose battle it seems.