[MrWhy]

I believe I have 3 or at least a touch of 3 different personality disorders, Avoidant, Borderline and Dependent personality disorders. I have read that one or all of these often include other disorders. I have not been diagnosed but me and my girlfriend have been reading up on these disorders and I seem to meet most of the criteria for all of these. My reason for looking into this is because it is causing problems in my relationship and everyday living.. I lie alot about little things to preserve our relationship even tho I know it will ultimately cause problems, I act on impulse which causes the lie to begin with. I am very loving and affectionate unless I feel she is criticizing me and then I can become argumentative and sometimes verbally abusive and physically abusive. I try to justify my lie by blaming it on anything and everything and then I feel guilty and ashamed of myself and my actions. I have a fear of being alone and if she is not with me I will text or call her repeatedly even tho I know she is doing nothing wrong so I am also paranoid about what she is doing. I dont like to make decisions on my own (even small ones like what movie to watch or where to eat) , I prefer for her to make all the decisions so that I know she is happy. and also I dont like to take responsibility for my actions which is why I dont like to make decisions for myself. Now I do like being around people especially in a situation where I know I am accepted and liked..I love to sing karaoke, I am good at it and always get complimented which fulfills my need for acceptance, which is why if she is not happy with me I will want to go to a bar and sing just to have some kind of feeling of acceptance. I also, am always apologizing for the things I have done or said, I have hurt her alot and would like to know how to get a grip on this problem. She has helped me alot with some of this but I keep repeating past mistakes and I dont know how to control it. LOL I could keep on and on but I dont want to overwhelm anyone! Just need help been dealing with this for a very long time and have just now been able to identify it for what it is. All advice is welcome, Thanks ahead of time!

[emptybee15]

I have a bit of all the disorders also. Usually, I despise men who do the things you do, but you are reaching out for help, so that means you're trying and actually WANT to change.

I can't seem to find one that really seems to care, but a therapist is what I suggest because there is definitely a problem and you don't want to continue this path of destruction.

I wish you and your girlfriend well. I don't even see how my boyfriend deals with me, I guess that might actually mean he cares, but I can't feel that. From anyone.

Anywho...I digress. I hope you can find a T that can help you.

Good luck!

[ECHOES]

The personality diagnosis symptoms do overlap. In addition to the overlapping, we are complex individuals and a snapshot of 'how' we are is not static. The label isn't important and some therapists don't offer a diagnosis.

What's important is that you want your life to feel better. It's a great start to be open about yourself. The willingness to look inside can be hard to attain. I hope you'll consider working with a therapist to explore the things you talk about in your post, to find out more what they are about and where the feelings originate that drive the behavior.

[Forgive77]

Ya...get a therapist and ask to be tested. I'm Borderline, Bipolar, and I have OCD thoughts. Woo Hoo! Go to a therapist and get started honey!! Congrats to you for accepting there is a problem and tryin to do something about it. HUGE pat on the back to you!!