Share your moments of SUCCESS in coping here! Small victories count!

^You show him! That's great!

My sanity score has improved by 2 points! I also opened up to my voice teacher about my BPD. I've known her for years, and she actually brought it up. I wasn't just dumping my issues on her. Ahh it might sound weird but it was really great.

I am taking a few moments to be alone. Finally.

i haven't taken more then what was prescribed in the last week. I have been diligent with my med taking. That is a huge step for me.

- I've stuck with therapy for awhile now.
- I had EMDR
- I am learning to let go of those things over which I have no control.
- I am learning to love myself ... bit by bit, breath by breath.

.... I'm learning to SLOW DOWN and take a look at others point of view. I still assume mine is correct (on some level) but I now CAN see how other people have theirs, and I can talk to them about it without getting irate.

I actually recognized when I was about to charge over someone else's boundaries - and I stopped myself, even though it involved something about which I felt strongly.

After six years of therapy, my T and I are actually talking termination within the next year.

I am happy, sad, terrified, proud, anxious, determined, all at the same time.

Actually I'm not sure how to feel but it does feel like success

I'm really happy to hear this, because after what you wrote in my self worth thread, it sounded like you've really got it together. (I was a little worried you didn't believe what you wrote).

Well, thank you for worrying about me, but I totally believe what I wrote, 100%. All true - but it didn't happen overnight. It took me a long time to reach that place, and a lot of hard work.

Thanks for caring

I had a fight with Bruce last night, but I did not shut myself up in my room all night. I went to my room for an hour and typed some papers for my self-help program/blog.

Then I called my mentor, who told me to come out of my room and deal with Bruce.

And I did.

We ended up running errands together, visiting a friend in hospital, and laughing together.

Wow...

Had to remember this today cause something else happened that I did not deal with well.

I am improving. It is not a straight line up a hill! It's more like a zig zag up and down some awkward stairs. lol

Billi

I woulda been tearing out my hair! lol

this milk thing sounds like something I woulda done, too. LMAO!!!

thanks for this.

and congrats on making that latte. Very encouraging. and also not throwing it out the window. lol

Billi

i am extremely proud of myself for leaving the house with my 3 yrold and going for a walk in the sun - ive been pretty agroaphobic lately so this is a huge acheivement for me - especially considering i had my first ever mental health assessment yesterday which blew my head to bits

go me :-/

continuing to explore my issues.

Will try very hard to go grocery shopping tonight.

I am agoraphobic, too.

Billi

Now that I know.....I try to calm myself before reacting!! I thought it was just an anger disorder!!!

I found this site today! This is a miracle for me.

Two weeks ago, I was awful. Super mad, and as many times as I bit my tongue, everyone around me noticed. A possible exaggeration, but many people did notice and react. Then I got too drunk (ahem, twice), told people some TMI secret type things (from what I remember) and acted like a giant *****.

Since then, I've gotten some exercise, cut back on caffeine, and really used the smart part of my brain to calm down. Well, I'm seeing some results and have officially been in a great mood since Sunday!!

A friend that me and Bruce are making thought that I hated him.

I did not storm into the room and yell at him that I did not hate him.

I let him process his feelings and let my roommate talk him down.

Then I waited until I calmed down and then we ended up talking. I told him I did not hate him and validated his feelings.

Billi

This time I'm actually putting real effort into getting a diagnose and getting some help.

I got very angry at a woman today because I was the only person she did not call on in an AA meeting that I went to.

I had to realize that she had asked for volunteers and I could have raised my hand.

I was so sure she was not going to call on me.

And I was sitting right in front of her and she did not call on me, but all the rest of the folks who did not raise their hands.

People can lead AA meetings however they want, I guess.

I could have raised my hand.

I owned all my issues.

I realized I need to communicate with her, but I don't feel safe around her yet; don't know her yet. But I did not get upset with her after the meeting, I just left.

Tomorrow is another day.

And I also knew that just because she did not acknowlede me did not mean I had nothing to say or that I was worthless.

And I sat with my feelings, vented to my mentor and wrote about it.

I did not dump it all over someone.

I am sick of hating people. It's exhausting. Life is too short and I don't even know how much time we all have on this earth, with global warming and stuff.

Billi

I got a letter back from a psychologist today. She is going to help me in finding the right therapist since I'm from a small country and we don't have many to choose from who actually know BPD and such. But it was really nice getting her letter. And I wrote her like.. The longest letter ever. Explaining all my symptoms.

Since my EMDR, I have had no "relapses" with histrionic personality disorder. There have been triggers, yes, but I watch them float by.

I had fleeting thoughts of sucide today and did not act on them or make any plans.

I did not cry more than I had to. Just a few minutes.

Life is too short.

I only had my thoughts and my feelings, then I lived and I tried to do the next indicated thing.

Me and Bruce are going to have to get legal about something. My landlord. My mean irrational neighbors.

bpd's do get treated badly. bpds's do have feelings. And I don't have to act on them anymore or go along with the destructive voice that keeps telling me to give up and end myself already.

Billi

I wanted to scratch this morning, but I held myself back and didn't.

Within the last 5 days I began treatment with a new therapist and psychiatrist.

I found my way to both appts. on time.

I did my best to be mindful and regulate my emotions before and after instead of becoming paranoid and I stopped myself from distorting my cognitions where I could.

My bf made me very angry and I still do not know what to do, but I have not done anything extreme even though I want to stomp on his head (not good I know), but I do. I am looking for a better way to address my anger.

ditto on the boyfriend thing - i also did not stamp on his head!

Realizing I need another evaluation and not letting others opinions stop me. also joining PC and finding that I have a place to fit in with the bpd forum