[redhead42]

I find this time of year to constantly be a struggle for me with each year becoming more and more difficult. It isn't a matter of the holidays themselves being hard for me; it is a matter of juggling all of the things I have to do with all of the things I want to do while dealing with the drastic change in time & daylight (shorter days really hurt what functionality I have).

I feel bad that I am difficult to be around, whether I am irritable or depressed. I know I am a weight on my husband, and that hurts me all the more.

Maybe sharing this will help relieve a bit of pressure and help me get some things done. That would be a nice change of pace. I rarely reach out for help because no matter how much I explain tings to friends and family, I usually get well intentioned words of support that are the REALLY wrong things to say to someone with MI.

Hope everyone is doing well...or at least our version of well.

[Ashleigh28]

I read this yesterday and wanted to respond. Truth is, I have all those exact feelings. So I hugged, verses commenting.

But I just wanted to remind you, you aren't alone, and that we are here to support you. Even if its just listening.

I hope you are doing our version of well too.

[crab76]

I shut my family out on holidays. Espicially christmas. Becuase the whole process of deciding what gift to buy, shopping for it, stressing over money to buy it, decorating, traveling to see family, ect.... is all too much for me.

So a long time ago I starting telling my mom, sister... I don't celebrate chirstmas. They buy me a gift every year and I get them nothing. It's been that way for a long time. I just send cards. I feel sooooooo bad but I can't handle the stress of it all.

Maybe one day I'll have the strength to have a normal christmas like everyone else and actually enjoy it.

[PleaseHelp]

Just wanted to let you know your not alone.

This time of year is really hard for me. The only way I manage to make it through is to focus on my daughters (step). However, the years we don't have them on Christmas day is really, really tough.

to all who are struggling

[Hearty]

Christmas time can be...very cruel for some of us...

I've spent many Christmases -alone.

I understand how you feel...

[Kathleen83]

Yeah, I so get how you're feeling, redhead42.....and everyone else. I also "don't do Christmas" (crab 76)....then spend November and December fighting everyone who wants to know why not, it's no big deal, come on, join in a *little*.....grrrr. This year, I thought I was staying busy enough to breeze thru it....then shocked myself today, at instant mini-rages that flashed thru. Oopsie. Ok....maybe not doing as well as I thought.....ah well. For me, participating as little as possible, grabbing as much "me" time as possible, distracting myself as much as possible, running completely away as much as possible, helps. One thing I've learned over the years....when things get this bad.....I gotta get "selfish" (well, that's how I feel) - and focus on ME and MY needs. The world's expectations (family's, friends, spouses, etc.) just can't be dealt with right now, sorry.....check with me later....I'll get to you later...... Bottom line - we're here. We've survived our pasts....we'll survive this too. Odds are, anyway.

[unaluna]

Count me in - or out, or whatever! I've had daytime appointments on Dec 24 & 31 with my Jewish T the past few years, that's been MY winter holiday celebrations. That, and an appointment with the laundry room...

[BrokenNBeautiful]

My holidays this year are more focused on festivities, love, beauty, and appreciation, rather than the commercialism and gift-buying.

I told Bruce that I was going to buy him a token present this year and devote most of my energy to just enjoying the season.

I feel that holidays are a lot about expectations, very much like being in love.

It can indeed be stressful and cruel and conflicting.

glad to hear this thread.

Billi

december is one big blur for me...