[summeryoga]

For those of you who have struggled with addiction or acting-out on impulsive urges related to those addictions, I'm curious as to how you maintain self control. What's worked for you in staving off giving in?

Time off from work is never good. Sigh.

Originally Posted by summeryoga

For those of you who have struggled with addiction or acting-out on impulsive urges related to those addictions, I'm curious as to how you maintain self control. What's worked for you in staving off giving in?

Time off from work is never good. Sigh.

...thats a real good curiosity!

I have been thinking about how to respond for about 85 minutes now and I still scratch my head?

Simple answer...I either do it or I don't. There is no 'staving off' for me.

boredom never helps with it. boredom suggests that 'things' are sort of ok...like complacency...and if 'things' are ok (which they really can be and it's great)..if 'things' are ok...

...it's so much easier to say to self "yeh why not?...I can handle it at the moment"

I don't know how the addictions you mention affect you?.
mine spiral way out of control and I develop this bizarre but somehow believable notion that I must break myself into pieces...just so I can re-assemble them later..so I can find out who I am and what reality really is!

hmmm

I guess you mean by 'staving off'...."how can I distract myself from acting out these powerful urges".

...what do I intend to get out of it?
...can I handle it?
...do I even want to handle it?
...will it solve my deeper issues?
...will it truely satisfy me?
...do I need to slide back just so I can move forward again?
...is it worth it?
...and is there another way?

I guess the answer is more direct questions..

...damn it!...still thinkin' about this one..it's so relevant to bpd.

impulsive addictive behaviour go hand in hand with it!

in a way I feel what I wrote above is rubbish...but it depends I guess what the circumstances are. It could be seperated into... boredom/no crisis..or...stress/crisis....(urges)
with alcohol say..
if I am bored/no crisis ..I will have little trouble not drinking. I say to myself.."I will have a drink tomorrow"....and tomorrow comes and I say it again. I basically manipulate myself and I know I am doing it and I am pleased.
I just keep putting it off until other things become more important.

if I am stress/crisis...I could have Ghandi ask me all the direct questions in the world and I will 'over-ride' the lot of them.

it happened a few weeks ago. Could I have stopped it?..I didn't wait around to find out!

What I did find out, however, is that my bpd related addictive behaviour once activated...goes quickly from an attempt to self medicate to a pure form of self harm...regardless of whether I was bored or losing my mind at the start.

I have struggled with addictions as a form of coping for many years and I am still learning.
I believe it's important that in the event of a relapse of whatever it may be...not to punish SELF...be kind to SELF during and after.

anyhow

[summeryoga]

You have no idea how much this helps me. Truly.

....you are welcome Summeryoga.

I am pleased.

J

[cboxpalace]

More than likely I know the answer and/or have solutions to this question, but what's "self control" mean?

I'm not sure if this is relevent, but are we talking about cocaine addiction or sex addiction or just any addiction in general?

I'm addicted to my morning coffee, but I don't think it's been a problem. Maybe not all addictions are bad? Is it possible that you have one of these not bad addictions, and you just just don't realize that maybe your addiction is one of those not bad addictions? I'm not saying it's not bad, but maybe this addiction could be one of those NOT bad addictions. I guess what we have to figure out is if your addiction is a not bad addiction or one of those not not bad addictions.. Either way I'm here to help!!

[summeryoga]

Originally Posted by cboxpalace

More than likely I know the answer and/or have solutions to this question, but could you first define "self control" for me? I just need to make sure were on the same page.. Thx!!!

I'm not sure if this is relevent, but are we talking about cocaine addiction or sex addiction or just any addiction in general?

PM-ing you ...

[B1_NRecovery]

Originally Posted by summeryoga

For those of you who have struggled with addiction or acting-out on impulsive urges related to those addictions, I'm curious as to how you maintain self control. What's worked for you in staving off giving in?

Time off from work is never good. Sigh.

One thing my T told me was often people with BPD have a hard time tolerating normalcy, bordeom, or other non-intense times. I have found this to be true. She suggested I try to name what is going on for me--like just saying, "I am bored." I noticed my anxiety (leading to self-harm) would spike if I was alone too long or didn't have a project or distraction. Now I can tolerate that more, knowing my bordeom does not mean I am a loser or no one wants to hang out with me. It just means I go through times of being alone and bored. Big deal.

Another huge turning point in my BPD was drawing the huge black, jagged rock that felt like was on my heart. Picturing moving it out. My therapist asked me what was in my heart after that rock was gone. I said--Nothing. So then I drew a large heart on a big piece of white paper and wrote in it all the things (big and little) that I could fill my life with when my anxiety and self-harm and addictions are not controling my life: ride my bicycle, talk to friends, read a book, volunteer at church, go to 12 Step meetings, learn to cook new foods, take walks, etc.

Our adrenals have been on overdrive our whole life, since our BPD likely comes from childhood trauma. Our brains literally feel like we are being deprived of something if we don't have a crisis. I am retraining my brain to be relaxed and not reach for my addictions/self-harm when there is no crisis. It's a work in progress.

Keep it up!!