[RaggedyAnn67]

1st, I'm back. Surgery on foot went well. Stitches out on the 30th and should be able to 'walk' in another two.

2nd, I am really nervous about my 1st appointment with a therapist tomorrow. In Feb last year, I lost my psych and therapist when I went on SSD. Medicare is not accepted by many in my area at all. It took me 7 months to find a psych (well, she is a nurse practioner...but better than some of the 'docs' I've had!) Now, I've found a therapist that had an 'opening'. I actually spoke to her on the phone in the summer, but she misunderstood me (what a BPD surprise...not). It was over alcohol. Back then, I had almost two years drink free. But, she wasn't quite listening to me and thought that I still was drinking (on meds). So, she said that she wouldn't take me.
I don't want to let her know about that yet, so that she can see the real me. (2 & 1/2 years off alcohol and 2 months gamble free...yeah!) It's just really scary to go in and meet someone who did not listen to me before. Can I trust her?
But, I am desperate. I need a therapist. I have been dealing with all these thoughts and raging emotions alone for a year now.

3rd, I am still trying to figure this website out. I really want to focus on the BPD forum (and addiction) only. I am not sure how to find them. I can't always find them. Any ideas on that also?

[Perna]

Hi, RaggedyAnn, good work on the alcohol/gambling-free and getting a pdoc and potential therapist.

On the right side of each group section there's a tiny black arrow; if you push that it "closes" that group so you do not have to see it. You could close all but the one group with the two forums you want and that might make it easier for you to find what you are looking for?

Phones are notoriously difficult to make sure we understand important points over; I would start your discussion when you see her with the phone discussion and problem and make sure she understands how great you are doing now being alcohol free! I think she misunderstood, not, didn't listen.

You could have been nervous talking to her and "tangled" in what you said or accidentally left out a work (just like making a typo like I just did! typing "work" instead of "word" and I'm a professional typist :-) and/or she may have done the same thing. But in person you can be much clearer and make sure you see that the other understands, etc. That's why we go see therapists instead of talk to them by phone or email, etc.

[Forgive77]

I agree with Perna...don't get all worked up about it. Just stay cool, and focus on the good! congrats to you!

[Forgive77]

How'd therapy go?

[RaggedyAnn67]

Wow! Thanks for thinking of me. I was nervous. It's tough seeing any mental health provider for the first time. I always have to hash out the hard stuff in an hour. I knew I was going to be exhausted from it. Plus the worry over what happened in the summer. It turned out that she wasn't the woman I spoke to back then. I did address it after speaking to her for awhile first.
She said that she would like to see me again . And, I would like to see her again as well. I just asked her to be ready to confront me if I want to 'leave' her. I admitted that I could be manipulative and very good at diverting conversations to avoid the truth. So, if I get so worried about reaching the truth down under, I want her strong enough to confront me about it. Do you know what I mean?