[crab76]

I'm spinning out of control!!

My Fiancé used my computer and left his email open so I looked through it. I have done this before with his FB and I actually posted on here about it. I can't help myself.

Once again I found stuff from when we were broken up. (We broke up for abt 10 months at one point). I found emails with other girls and even escorts. He claims he never saw any escorts. But I don't believe him. He says he was devastated that I broke up with him so he was looking for attention.

I know all this stuff happened while we were broken up so I have no right to be mad. I even dated guys during our break too. But I'm disgusted about the things I saw. And for some reason I don't trust him now. So Last night I installed a Keylogger on my computer so the next time he uses it I will be able to capture his passwords.

Why am I torturing myself like this? Why am I sabotaging my relationship with this man who is wonderful to me? I feel like I have lost my mind.

[Forgive77]

It's just what we do. I would advise you to not keeping digging...you might find more. Take the software off, and just try to start over again with him if you want to. If you want to....stay with him that is...you're just gonna have to put both of what y'all did behind you.

[rainbowoflabels]

I have done this in the past and it only exaserbates the unrealistic thoughts and perceptions

[RaggedyAnn67]

I am afraid that I think that what you did is not right and you know that. And, when we make mistakes in life, we need to confront them or there is no rest in our conscience and we get nowhere (except more issues that develop from it).

I think it is essential to confront the situation and talk to your sig other. These feelings you are having need to be discussed with them. Living life like that (checking up on others and lack of trust) is not a rewarding way to live.

Be strong...and talk things out.