making assumptions

I really try not to do this, and I've worked hard on not doing this.
When I was first online, the same year I first came here, I did assume that if someone had what I thought was a harsh manner towards me... then they didn't want me around.

Now I realise that was completely wrong especially as I was so new no one even knew me!

I made that assumption because of previous hurts and abuses.

And I did lash out!

And deleted my posts.

But I was wrong, no one there was against me.... until I Assumed that they were!

It hurts, like recently, being on the other end of someone's assumptions.

I suppose I should be more understanding, as long ago I used to make wrong assumptions sometimes too.



ps I did resolve that issue eventually, I worked things out successfully with the person/people concerned.

Wow! Now THAT you call PROGRESS

I'm still learning to not make assumptions. I find that online the issue is not so pronounced, but IRL? Boy do I struggle.
Fuzzy, you've brought me hope, thank you

Thanks Fuzzybear - I think that is an interesting point about assumptions. I have had a wobble today after being fairly relaxed for a couple of weeks (had to take first beta blocker in a month) and now when I think about it, my reaction was based on an assumption I made about my manager - although I really think I am right, I don't know do I?

Soup

Ive gotten a lot better at this recently. The way i see it, ive been abused my whole life - what can people do anymore that can hurt me more than ive already been hurt? I know it sounds depressing but this really did help me and now i don't care very much anymore. Anyone who makes a snide/sarcastic/*****y remark...you go right ahead, its your anger - not mine Good for us i would say

((Fuzzybear)) - I'm proud you've made this progress. I realize its hard not to make assumptions, if you're dealing with past abuse, plus having emotional issues. As I've become older, I try to let go of assumptions and I also lower my expectations a little. I don't succeed all the time but I'm improving. Lowering my expectations doesn't mean I deserve less - it just means, I won't get all worked up if people disappoint me or things don't turn out.

I'm happy you're beginning to express yourself more here. I noticed you delete many of your threads, but I think you should leave them - you could always ask a moderator to delete at any time, so try not to think you better delete in the 2 hour time limit. Its fine to share your negative feelings here or even speak your mind. You have the right to use your voice and your feelings matter.

This is off topic a bit but does relate a little. Once I was followed by another driver is a road rage incident. The driver assumed I cut her off on purpose or neglectfully - it wasn't even bad enough, that she had to brake but she assumed I was rude. I really wasn't - I checked over my shoulder, but her car was in my blind spot. If she just would have been patient, she could have avoided terrorizing me and my girls. One good thing came out of this - I'm now more patient driving and if someone makes a mistake I don't take it personal. Even if they deliberately cut me off, I figure they must be having a bad day.