[MDDBPDPTSD]

Really stuggling right now. Had major life event a few days ago. It was supposed to be a positive thing, but all change is stressful and this certainly was. In addition, I am now regretting the life change, feeling as though I was duped and victimized once again.



I hate being in this position. it is especially difficult because I really believed those other people who told me to they would be there to help me every step of the way. I needed their help and counted on it to do this major change. Now that the decision is irreversible, they back out on their promises and leave me with several extremely difficult situations. In addition, the long term does not look promising either. Gloom despair and agony on me.

They lie and I suffer. Why does this always happen to me? Why am I a magnet for people who lack integrity? Why doesn't my suffering matter?

I hate my life. I hate life. I hate society. I am so tired of living. I want out, but I know I can not suicide, because I have tried before and failed. So I am stuck. Stuck here in this f'ed up planet living out my life doing my best to protect myself from other people and trying not to hurt anyone else.

I hate it here. I hate my life. When will it end??? I hate it here.

Originally Posted by MDDBPDPTSD

Really stuggling right now. Had major life event a few days ago. It was supposed to be a positive thing, but all change is stressful and this certainly was. In addition, I am now regretting the life change, feeling as though I was duped and victimized once again.



I hate being in this position. it is especially difficult because I really believed those other people who told me to they would be there to help me every step of the way. I needed their help and counted on it to do this major change. Now that the decision is irreversible, they back out on their promises and leave me with several extremely difficult situations. In addition, the long term does not look promising either. Gloom despair and agony on me.

They lie and I suffer. Why does this always happen to me? Why am I a magnet for people who lack integrity? Why doesn't my suffering matter?

I hate my life. I hate life. I hate society. I am so tired of living. I want out, but I know I can not suicide, because I have tried before and failed. So I am stuck. Stuck here in this f'ed up planet living out my life doing my best to protect myself from other people and trying not to hurt anyone else.

I hate it here. I hate my life. When will it end??? I hate it here.

I tried and failed too. I took 24 sleeping pills and was terrified at the thought of dying. Begged my mom to take me to the hospital. Dying is too scary. You need to find some peace in life. I need to find some peace in life. hugs.

[Forgive77]

I'm a very honest person...sometimes too honest, and it always shocks me that everyone else isn't. I guess it's our black and white mentality. You just might have to come to terms with the fact that people are gray, and most of them have something they want to hide, and can't admit they are wrong. You just might have to think about the fact you're doing the right things and be good with that, and live by your moral code. Even if others don't. They are them, and you are you. Sometimes getting people to see things your way is impossible because they only see things through their eyes, and basically can't see past the nose on their own face.

Originally Posted by Forgive77

I'm a very honest person...sometimes too honest, and it always shocks me that everyone else isn't. I guess it's our black and white mentality. You just might have to come to terms with the fact that people are gray, and most of them have something they want to hide, and can't admit they are wrong. You just might have to think about the fact you're doing the right things and be good with that, and live by your moral code. Even if others don't. They are them, and you are you. Sometimes getting people to see things your way is impossible because they only see things through their eyes, and basically can't see past the nose on their own face.

Perception. Everyone has a point of view and watches the world through distorted lenses. Those with BPD have the constant struggle of wondering if they are perceiving the outside world correctly or is a BPDish thought.

[Forgive77]

Originally Posted by Stardustedforever

Perception. Everyone has a point of view and watches the world through distorted lenses. Those with BPD have the constant struggle of wondering if they are perceiving the outside world correctly or is a BPDish thought.

Nope...you're right! Our perception is our reality. They teach you that in philosophy classes. I talked a bit about it on my blog yesterday. That is the biggest thing with us...our perception. We want people to hear and 'get' us, and rage when that's not happening.

Originally Posted by Forgive77

Nope...you're right! Our perception is our reality. They teach you that in philosophy classes. I talked a bit about it on my blog yesterday. That is the biggest thing with us...our perception. We want people to hear and 'get' us, and rage when that's not happening.

I read your blog today. It's excellent!

[Forgive77]

Originally Posted by Stardustedforever

I read your blog today. It's excellent!

Thank you! I wrote some more. I'm going threw a phase of having a lot to say lately!!