[Girl_Interrupted]

I'm a bit drunk so forgive me if I don't make sense, because it makes sense to me xD

Had a fun day out with my friends today on Brighton Beach, but the whole time I still felt depressed, still feel depressed, and I've hit the bottle again when I came home.

Why do I feel this way? I should be grateful I had a good day, but I don't feel like that.
I mean yes I am grateful that my friends invited me out for the day, but I'm being ungrateful because I should be happy.

[Girl_Interrupted]

I just found out my gym membership went out today and now I'm overdrawn in my bank :'(

[OctobersBlackRose]

You're not being ungreatful, you're maybe just upset even if you don't exactly know why at the time, I have days like that, I go somewhere, have fun yet Im so anxious or pissed that I feel bad because it is suposed to be a good day and Im not exactly having as much fun as I could, and feel that others notice it and are upset with me, but idk why I feel that way at the time and may not even know until hours or a day or 2 later why I felt that way. But don't feel ungreatful for how you feel, you're trying to have fun and be yourself.

[MDDBPDPTSD]

I used to feel so inadequate because no matter how much I did for some people, it was never enough. I thought they were ungrateful and greedy. I thought that no matter what I did, they would never appreciate the gifts I offered, including the gift of my time.

Now the shoe is on the other foot sometimes, because my needs seem to outweigh what others are able to give me. I do have a few people who are willing to offer me their time, concern and support. But, no matter how much they give, my need continues.

I sometimes feel like I am a bottomless pit of need and pain.

Because of my previous perspective on others not being grateful, I can see now that maybe they were not ungrateful, just needy. Not selfish, just starved for good feelings, needing validation in whatever form they could get it.

I try to get what I need in honest ways. I think I am pretty straightforward about it. But even so, if I have a good day, that does not mean I always happy a the end of it. The good time was wonderful distraction from the pain I live with. for that I am grateful. But that distraction provided by my loved ones, does not make my deep pain go away and when the "fun" is through, I am all alone with my pain again.

That does not make me ungrateful for the gift my loved ones gave me. It just means that my pain is greater than the distraction of a good day. The pain goes much deeper than a day out can cure.

Hope this helps.

[OctobersBlackRose]

Originally Posted by MDDBPDPTSD

I used to feel so inadequate because no matter how much I did for some people, it was never enough. I thought they were ungrateful and greedy. I thought that no matter what I did, they would never appreciate the gifts I offered, including the gift of my time.

Now the shoe is on the other foot sometimes, because my needs seem to outweigh what others are able to give me. I do have a few people who are willing to offer me their time, concern and support. But, no matter how much they give, my need continues.

I sometimes feel like I am a bottomless pit of need and pain.

Because of my previous perspective on others not being grateful, I can see now that maybe they were not ungrateful, just needy. Not selfish, just starved for good feelings, needing validation in whatever form they could get it.

I try to get what I need in honest ways. I think I am pretty straightforward about it. But even so, if I have a good day, that does not mean I always happy a the end of it. The good time was wonderful distraction from the pain I live with. for that I am grateful. But that distraction provided by my loved ones, does not make my deep pain go away and when the "fun" is through, I am all alone with my pain again.

That does not make me ungrateful for the gift my loved ones gave me. It just means that my pain is greater than the distraction of a good day. The pain goes much deeper than a day out can cure.

Hope this helps.

You couldn't have said it better, I feel and have felt the same exact way, just couldn't put it into words in my previous post, I feel both of the ways, are they ungreatful, or am I? And neither is the case it is the personal pain I feel.
Wanting to have fun and a good day doesn't always play out the way I planned it to be,especially if I was the one that suposedly ruined some elses day by my behavior, mainly my families day. And then I feel like the world is ending, I still get crap about a camping trip 2yrs ago where my sister brought a friend, and this friend kept pushing everyone away from her and my sister, and I got pissed by that and my sister had an attitude about everything, so I got into fights with her because I felt left out, and ended up ruining everyones week. Even though it wasn't all me fighting, I took all the blame and was told I was ungreatful, self-centered, and selfish. And This year my Mom keeps telling me that all my "issues" have to stop once we get to the campsite, Im sorry but mental health issues just don't stop because of a vacation.
And no we're not ungreatful because of the pain we're in or our given attitude at a point of the day.