[KatSanz]

Well, I'm going to be very embarrassed writing this but...
Two years ago I was reading Girl, Interrupted (I know, very popular book and movie) and I was just stunned at how much of her I saw in myself, save the promiscuous sex haha, well anyways later on that year after getting better living situations I began searching my mind wondering what could be wrong with me. I always knew something was wrong it just never had a name, a face. After researching BPD I began to realize I might have it (be it?), but there is a chance I might be bipolar also. I have taken the quizzes on this site too and have scored high on both disorders. I'm really just asking for opinions, maybe someone could tell me how they found out they had BPD?

Also, just in case someone is curious.. I'm embarrassed, because I understand that people read articles and start thinking "omg! I have that!" and I know people might think "oh, that's her problem!" even I have thought that. The thing is though, it doesn't explain the emptiness I feel and the racing thoughts and my inability to understand myself or the world or life itself. So, I do hope you give me the benefit of the doubt.

Originally Posted by KatSanz

Well, I'm going to be very embarrassed writing this but...
Two years ago I was reading Girl, Interrupted (I know, very popular book and movie) and I was just stunned at how much of her I saw in myself, save the promiscuous sex haha, well anyways later on that year after getting better living situations I began searching my mind wondering what could be wrong with me. I always knew something was wrong it just never had a name, a face. After researching BPD I began to realize I might have it (be it?), but there is a chance I might be bipolar also. I have taken the quizzes on this site too and have scored high on both disorders. I'm really just asking for opinions, maybe someone could tell me how they found out they had BPD?

Also, just in case someone is curious.. I'm embarrassed, because I understand that people read articles and start thinking "omg! I have that!" and I know people might think "oh, that's her problem!" even I have thought that. The thing is though, it doesn't explain the emptiness I feel and the racing thoughts and my inability to understand myself or the world or life itself. So, I do hope you give me the benefit of the doubt.

cool title Kat...it's sure possible to be empty and embarrassed at the same time..embarrassment is shame's closest neighbour and with BPD shame is always home!

how did I find out I have BPD?...hmmm

well I did get told by two specialists who seemed to delib-erate for days during one of my stays at a psychiatric hospital. they told me gently but also for the first time ever ...convincingly....

BPD they explained kinda encapsulates the other struggles I had up till then and still do...Bipolar fits right in there as in my case does ADD...

wow I can sure get embarrassed with all that too yep.

but yep I had an intense suicidal episode and that led to my diagnosis

(sorry delayed reaction)

...everything fit just right and it was some relief to discover why I was having such trouble and to be able to explain 'myself' to 'myself'

instead of beating myself up all the time.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I did get diagnosed by a psychiatrist.

It took a while for me to deal with it. I could not debate the symptoms in the DSM.

I have accepted the diagnosis, but not the stigma.

Billi

[KatSanz]

Thank you Dubble and Billi (:

I will get checked out by professionals that is really the only way.
And just to add I am almost convinced I have BPD and have for a while and I really can't believe it or cope with it either (I didn't want you guys to think I was okay with this ya know)
And I'm sorry dubble that you tried to end your life :/ but you should be glad someone noticed! It means they care (:

[ECHOES]

Originally Posted by KatSanz

Well, I'm going to be very embarrassed writing this but...
Two years ago I was reading Girl, Interrupted (I know, very popular book and movie) and I was just stunned at how much of her I saw in myself, save the promiscuous sex haha, well anyways later on that year after getting better living situations I began searching my mind wondering what could be wrong with me. I always knew something was wrong it just never had a name, a face. After researching BPD I began to realize I might have it (be it?), but there is a chance I might be bipolar also. I have taken the quizzes on this site too and have scored high on both disorders. I'm really just asking for opinions, maybe someone could tell me how they found out they had BPD?

Also, just in case someone is curious.. I'm embarrassed, because I understand that people read articles and start thinking "omg! I have that!" and I know people might think "oh, that's her problem!" even I have thought that. The thing is though, it doesn't explain the emptiness I feel and the racing thoughts and my inability to understand myself or the world or life itself. So, I do hope you give me the benefit of the doubt.

Wanting to know more about yourself, about the world, about others ... are perfect reasons to have help from a therapist.

[Girl_Interrupted]

"The thing is though, it doesn't explain the emptiness I feel and the racing thoughts and my inability to understand myself or the world or life itself. So, I do hope you give me the benefit of the doubt."

But those are common symptoms of BPD. I don't get what you're not understanding.

[KatSanz]

The thing is though is that I'm confused if these are my real feelings or if they are reflecting the book, but I do feel these things at least I'm positive I do. It's just sometimes its hard to know what is real in my head, and whats fake or made up or idk really how to explain it. Sorry. >.<

[Secretum]

One thing to be aware of: you may well have BPD, but professionals do not diagnose people under the age of 18 with personality disorders, because the personality is still developing. So, don't be surprised if you are told that you're depressed or bipolar instead.

I wish you the best of luck on your journey to recovery!

[KatSanz]

Originally Posted by Secretum

One thing to be aware of: you may well have BPD, but professionals do not diagnose people under the age of 18 with personality disorders, because the personality is still developing. So, don't be surprised if you are told that you're depressed or bipolar instead.

I wish you the best of luck on your journey to recovery!

That makes a lot of sense, thank you.