[overandunder28]

I'm pretty sure that the title says most of it.

I feel so low at this moment, I feel angry and feel like I am never going to get 'better'.
In the mood I am in atm part of me doesn't want to care.

I have a best friend whom is also my ex-partner whom has been there for me from the get-go and unfortunately is having a one-sided friendship because I can't get my shite together.

I am stuck in the child-like way of thinking, I overly procrastinate, I remain stagnant in a lot of the areas of my life, routine and attitude I 'should and could' be fixing.

I go through so many emotions in minutes and the same 'routine, course' happens over and over again.

I put myself on a feckin circle route and feel like the victim (1 part does), 2nd part is my inner punisher and bully, the third inner part is majorly depressed, as well as anxious, the fifth part is the child who fantasizes about how life could be, should be and the same goes for people including myself and the sixth 'last' part I have identified is the one that wants to get going and fix things but is incredibly over run by all of the other parts.

I like to think that I am changing and getting better but am always brought back to reality by my bestie..... It is very disheartening...

*Pause between Rants*

i'm sorry.... not been feeling too great lately either.

hope you feel better

[powertools321]

Stop "shoulding" on yourself. I understand completely how you feel, I feel that way a lot with a few brief periods of I'll beat this thing in-between. Remember that we are, by far, our own worst critic, we will tell ourselves things we would never tell a friend who was feeling the same way. Please try to stop hating yourself so much, to just give yourself some of the same love you would give a friend. When I have the moments of wanting to fix this I try to do something right there and then to help prepare for the bad times, a littler preventative maintenance I guess. Best of luck and I hope you feel better soon, but until then here is a virtual hug.

Yep....feel the same. On the good days I somehow convince myself I'm on the road to recovery and that I won't get so bad again, but then it starts again in short order and I'm back at the beginning. I started trying some "preventative maintenance"...for one thing not trying to disillusion myself about it's definite return.

Originally Posted by overandunder28

I put myself on a feckin circle route and feel like the victim (1 part does), 2nd part is my inner punisher and bully, the third inner part is majorly depressed, as well as anxious, the fifth part is the child who fantasizes about how life could be, should be and the same goes for people including myself and the sixth 'last' part I have identified is the one that wants to get going and fix things but is incredibly over run by all of the other parts.

Thanks for this... I missed it when it was first posted. It's such a perfect, concise description of the phases my mind can and does run through constantly.