[dgiallin]

Hello friends,
I'm going to start my Dbt therapy next week...I live in Italy and here there is only one place where they do dbt...I should be happy...actually I'm so devastated: my main problem is the fear f abandonement...I had a quarrel with my best friend who's BL too and helped me to discover I have the disorder...I feel abandoned even if she said she'll never desert me, just said we should stay on our own during these days we are both devastated and overwhelmed...please, friends, tell me what to do..I've troubles at work, 'cause I cry all day long, I feel seek, vomit, don't eat,...sorry to disturb you an sorry for my English..but I feel you are the ones that can comprehend my feeling..

[cboxpalace]

. just said we should stay on our own during these days

Can you explain the above quote in more detail. I'm not quite sure what you mean.

[Netcaster]

Hi dgiallin,

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling overwhelmed, I was very confused and upset when I received my BPD diagnosis years ago.

If it's possible, perhaps it might be worth taking some time off work until you settle into therapy and spend time with your family? If the disorder is interfering with your ability to work, I probably wouldn't be there.

The best thing I've found is to try hard with the DBT and make it top priority no matter what. Even if you feel overwhelmed or upset by the other things going on in your life (eg. friends, family, other stressors), force yourself to do the therapy and make sure you stick with it.

PS. I just signed up and your post is the first one I've seen, hope this helps!

[Girl_Interrupted]

Originally Posted by cboxpalace

Can you explain the above quote in more detail. I'm not quite sure what you mean.

She means like, not see eachother as much I think, or not as much contact? Maybe to both focus on their own problems for a while? I'm just taking a shot in the dark here.

DBT is quite good, and it opens your eyes up more to the world at the very least.

[dgiallin]

Originally Posted by Netcaster

Hi dgiallin,

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling overwhelmed, I was very confused and upset when I received my BPD diagnosis years ago.

If it's possible, perhaps it might be worth taking some time off work until you settle into therapy and spend time with your family? If the disorder is interfering with your ability to work, I probably wouldn't be there.

The best thing I've found is to try hard with the DBT and make it top priority no matter what. Even if you feel overwhelmed or upset by the other things going on in your life (eg. friends, family, other stressors), force yourself to do the therapy and make sure you stick with it.

PS. I just signed up and your post is the first one I've seen, hope this helps!

I'd like to spend my time with my family...my parents are both dead..they very young...i've just one brother...he's married and has got three babies...I just don't want make him worried...I'm glad that mine is the first post you have seen

[dgiallin]

Originally Posted by Girl_Interrupted

She means like, not see eachother as much I think, or not as much contact? Maybe to both focus on their own problems for a while? I'm just taking a shot in the dark here.

DBT is quite good, and it opens your eyes up more to the world at the very least.

Yes, she said it would be better if we don't spend too much time together as usual...I know she's right because we are too much dependent each other..hope you understand my english..the fact is that i miss her so much...i always would stay with her...i can't stand to stay without seeing her...I know i'm wrong but it is my feeling....i feel abandoned and hopeless...like a baby that cries as the mum disappear behind a door for a few minutes..because he doesn't understand his mum has not disappeared forever...but i'm not a child, i'm an adult woman..so feel pain, shame, and so on...I feel so desperate and don't even have the bravery to kill myself...thanks girl...yours is the first profile i've seen ...hugs... my name is donatella and i live in Italy, Tuscany, near Florence..

[dgiallin]

Originally Posted by cboxpalace

Can you explain the above quote in more detail. I'm not quite sure what you mean.

she said we shouldn't stay toghether, meet every day, text every day, as usual..

[Girl_Interrupted]

Originally Posted by dgiallin

Yes, she said it would be better if we don't spend too much time together as usual...I know she's right because we are too much dependent each other..hope you understand my english..the fact is that i miss her so much...i always would stay with her...i can't stand to stay without seeing her...I know i'm wrong but it is my feeling....i feel abandoned and hopeless...like a baby that cries as the mum disappear behind a door for a few minutes..because he doesn't understand his mum has not disappeared forever...but i'm not a child, i'm an adult woman..so feel pain, shame, and so on...I feel so desperate and don't even have the bravery to kill myself...thanks girl...yours is the first profile i've seen ...hugs... my name is donatella and i live in Italy, Tuscany, near Florence..

Ahhhh let me come to Tuscany! ^^ I want to see all of Europe some day. I live in the UK and want to become a translator.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by dgiallin

Hello friends,
I'm going to start my Dbt therapy next week...I live in Italy and here there is only one place where they do dbt...I should be happy...actually I'm so devastated: my main problem is the fear f abandonement...I had a quarrel with my best friend who's BL too and helped me to discover I have the disorder...I feel abandoned even if she said she'll never desert me, just said we should stay on our own during these days we are both devastated and overwhelmed...please, friends, tell me what to do..I've troubles at work, 'cause I cry all day long, I feel seek, vomit, don't eat,...sorry to disturb you an sorry for my English..but I feel you are the ones that can comprehend my feeling..

I hope the DBT helps you. I used dbtselfhelp.com and that's good for me. I wish you luck on the therapy.

I relate to feeling very very insecure, even when people reassure me that they won't leave me. What goes thru my brain is this: "Are they for real or just smoothing me over or just pitying me cause I am so needy?" I can't look into their minds so I just don't know. I have to say to myself, "I just never learned to believe that someone could ever really be there for me on a regular basis" and just let those thoughts go by. It's very difficult.

You did not disturb me. Thanks for relating to me.

I get a lot out of these posts.

For real.

And you don't deserve to have to vomit, feel bad, or not eat. You can sit in these feelings; hopefully maybe DBT will give you some pointers on that, too. I have trouble with feelings, too. And with wanting to hurt myself.

Carol