[lil-angel-wings]

grow up in a home where they were told that you were born to then (your parents) even says it on the birth record you have, but always teased that they were going to send you back to the family you came from... or made you feel like you didn't belong? and there was an adult (woman ) who lived with your family till you were in your what ever years that you were told was just a friend or aunt or live in nanny or what ever and then she just (or He) left one day to go marry someone and have other kids... and you just got left behind?

Just curious... did you ever wonder if you were really adoted and your parents just laughed it off like it was nothing and you were stupid for even thinking that way?

[greyclouds]

I not really sure I understand, I really sorry...

Are you asking if any one believed they were adopted as kids?

And that your parents made out to you that you were?

And also the other person that lived with you nanny etc, was really your parent?

[lil-angel-wings]

yes... I was always told that i was not... however we did hae a young woman who not only lived with us in one city, but moved with our family 8 hours away from her family... when i was 5 she just up and left, i was told that she got married and when i was a teen we moved again and we lived in the city she lived in then and my mom took me to see her... then when my parents (or) left to go over seas when I was just graduated form high school i moved in with my grandma in another city and Her parents moved to that city and went to the same church i did... (this i just found out today) she only had one son and he has many of the probelm that i have and still lives at home and is in his 40's now... my mom always teased me about being adopted and then said she was just kidding when i would bring it up in siriousness... and i was the black sheep of the family... the youngest out of 3 and my dad always yelled at me and not them even told me to get out when i was 16 adn called me a lier all the time...

dont get me wrong... they really were good parents and i love them both todeath and my dad passed in 97 so i relly miss him... just way to many things that made me and still make me feel that way to this day.

[greyclouds]

Yeah I guess we can all feel like that and more so when kids.

Not a very fair thing for your parents to say... Of course that would play in your mind.

Have you tried discussing this with other family members?
I don't really know what to say, did you say you have looked at your birth records?
And that your parents names were on there?

I never thought or was told I was adopted or anything like that. No, I just was told repeatedly by both of my parents that I was the unintentional one. The mistake. Yeah I'm 45 now and I've still not shaken those words from my mind. O.O

[greyclouds]

Aww s4 I'm so sorry, I remember over hearing my mum say when I was about 6 that I want planned and was a mistake.
But she was 17 when she had me, and she did take the time to explain that to me, and rearrange her words.
But never the less it hurt. But I know she loves me and always has. An wouldn't change me or my sister for the world (well I mean having us) she may change my attitude and situation

[lil-angel-wings]

just orderd my official record today... so im waiting to see what happens

[greyclouds]

Originally Posted by lil-angel-wings

just orderd my official record today... so im waiting to see what happens

Keep us posted and let us know how you get on, good luck and hope it helps answer some questions

((Hugs))

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I know I was not adopted, but I do know that feeling of not being wanted or of my being some kind of happening that my family did not want to have happen. Kind of feels similar, like I have no place at all or purpose or origin or anything. Just came to be and no one liked it.

I apologize if this is off base; you may ignore it if you want to.

Carol

[DLWest]

I agree with BrokenNBeautiful, I wasn't adopted either, but I was definitely given the impression that my existence was a mistake. I can't tell you all the times I was told that the world would be a better place without me in it. I finally decided that whether or not that was true, they couldn't make me be like them and started making my own decisions about how life should look. It still doesn't match...in a TON of ways, but it's better than they would have let me have if I had left it up to them. Please believe that I think you're adding beauty to this world, even if I am just a few words on a screen

[lil-angel-wings]

Originally Posted by BrokenNBeautiful

I apologize if this is off base; you may ignore it if you want to.

Carol

you are not off base at all
thanks for your imput

Originally Posted by greyclouds

Aww s4 I'm so sorry, I remember over hearing my mum say when I was about 6 that I want planned and was a mistake.
But she was 17 when she had me, and she did take the time to explain that to me, and rearrange her words.
But never the less it hurt. But I know she loves me and always has. An wouldn't change me or my sister for the world (well I mean having us) she may change my attitude and situation

Thank you for that grey, much appreciated. I know my mom cares for me but in her own little way... she's also always been quite dysfunctional, though. I'm glad your mom still loved you.

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

I never thought or was told I was adopted or anything like that. No, I just was told repeatedly by both of my parents that I was the unintentional one. The mistake. Yeah I'm 45 now and I've still not shaken those words from my mind. O.O

I was told over and over that I was a mistake and the words also reverberate in my mind. Once, when I was about 12 or so, my mom was talking to a family friend. She said over and over again to the friend, while I was in the room right in front of her, that the only reason she was staying with my dad was me and that once I grew up and moved out she's be free to go and finally be happy. I started crying and basically went hysterical on her and she couldn't understand why.... They never did separate...