[DLWest]

I don't know if I'm digging my way out of the pit, or just deeper. I haven't seen the sun in months, but I'm getting better at hiding how I feel. According to DBT I should be happier, I haven't chased anyone away in over 2 years, but I'm not. If anything I'm sadder every day.

You haven't chased them away, but have you allowed them to get close enough to matter. Your voice, body language, demeanor could be keeping them away regardless. I don't have any answers for you. Keep up the good fight. If you've been doing the exact same thing all this time, maybe it's time to change it up some or try something a little different. Just a thought.... I wish you the absolute best.

[shezbut]

((DLWest))

I *think* that the core issue is that you are hiding how you feel. I have a major tendency to do the same thing as well. By not being honest with myself, and sharing my true feelings with those close to me, I cause myself more suffering. That's because there's an invisible wall up inside of me. I think that people pick up on this barrier that we hold inside of ourselves, and they hold themselves back around us in response.

Know what I mean? Just my opinion...I hope that you find some support and comfort very soon. Best wishes to you!

[BrokenNBeautiful]

When I was diagnosed and pronounced "untreatable" in 2010, I started doing my own thing. Yes, I logged onto DBT self-help, but that was not all I did. I read about trauma recovery, did some study on how our thoughts contribute to the way we regulate our emotions, etc.

DBT by itself did not help. It's a great thing, but I needed other avenues, too, for my healing.

I am getting more into body work, too. I can barely afford massage or reiki therapy, but I am learning relaxation and visualization. Also, the most important thing for me, too: Being open to the idea that I matter, that I am okay no matter what---and I alone am in charge of how I feel about myself and my life. No one else. When I can really do that, I then have room to look outward and notice and identify with others. Then they can reach me again.

Please feel free to disregard this if not helpful. Just my own experience.

Carol

[BrokenNBeautiful]

[quote=shezbut;2805595]((DLWest))

By not being honest with myself, and sharing my true feelings with those close to me, I cause myself more suffering. That's because there's an invisible wall up inside of me. I think that people pick up on this barrier that we hold inside of ourselves, and they hold themselves back around us in response.
quote]

I am beginning to know this is true for me, too. I have an invisible wall, too, and ppl know it. How many times have ppl said to me, "Carol, you are doing it, not us." And I am now starting to know how I do it and when. It's hard to open up after being hurt so much. To trust that most times ppl are okay and not trying to hurt me.

Carol