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#1
Jan 15, 2013, 03:01 PM
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...takes so much energy to ignore the most natural of all human behaviours!
and this is the most diabolical thing of borderline personality and I spell it right out! somethin' just aint right inside ...like it's trust and I shake my head and I cry I don't trust anybody and I cry even more I am so damaged ..! something aint right and I am so freaking lonely and even this immediately screws up my face I am angry! what the f--ck is wrong with me ...? ..and everyone else appears to make it look so damn easy ...and this just makes me worse.. I'm trapped in a moody loop of self hatred...thinking I'm terrible... thats the worst thing amongst all the rest that I aint stupid I freaking wish I was stupid then it wouldn't hurt so bad but cos I am intelligent I get to experience all the TERRIBLE feelings....exactly as they were meant to be felt.. and none of this was ever my damn fault! I can't put up with me.. and nobody else will ever... (sorry this was so crap) |
 AngelWolf3, Anonymous327401, Anonymous32897, Anonymous32935, Anonymous33145, Atypical_Disaster, bluefish27, gismo, pegasus
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 AngelWolf3, Atypical_Disaster, bluefish27
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#2
Jan 15, 2013, 04:41 PM
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((Hugs)) that's not true.. Don't give up. Okay so things maybe messed up. But see the white side.
Your passionate! That a great trait Thinking of you. I know it's hard in that dark place. I'm holding out my hand for you |
| Anonymous32912
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| AngelWolf3
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#3
Jan 15, 2013, 04:45 PM
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((((monkey))))
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| Anonymous32912
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#4
Jan 16, 2013, 01:41 PM
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I can relate.
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| Anonymous32912
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#5
Jan 16, 2013, 02:13 PM
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Monkey You have a friend over here in Texas. I wish I was smart enough to be able to really help. |
| Anonymous32912
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#6
Jan 16, 2013, 02:55 PM
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Passionate is definitely a great word. I know it hurts. I wish I could come up with something to make it change...
I do enjoy reading your posts, because you put it out there so eloquently. (Not that I am enjoying your pain or anything, I hope you know what I meant.) 
__________________
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| Anonymous32912
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#7
Jan 16, 2013, 03:05 PM
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fanks for everythin' that got written back to me...
cos I know you all get it I can let myself feel ok in a way |
| Anonymous32897, Atypical_Disaster
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#8
Jan 17, 2013, 05:40 PM
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I can relate to your feelings. I keep messing up relationships because I don't trust my partner. Then they get fed up and dump me and blame the failure of the experience entirely on me. So I believe it and think it must just be me and my BPD and forget the (sometimes) valid reasons that indicated it wasn't meant to be. I get shouted at for pushing them away, when sopposedly they liked me all along, until I went crazy. I should get help y'know. Apparently I'll meet someone who likes me for me and can deal with my issues... just what you don't want to hear from your ex.
Sarcasm aside, I do try and stay hopeful. Reading these forums I see posts about wonderful partners who understand our behaviour. So far we've just not meant someone strong enough to stick around... but they are out there somewhere 
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#9
Jan 18, 2013, 06:27 AM
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Quote:
__________________
 “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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